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Date: September 21, 2022
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Talk to your dad and confirm to yourself this is what has been going on before blowing him up to your mom. Yeah, it looks bad and I can’t think of a reason for your dad to be searching female escort sites but sometimes weird shit happens and there may be a reason for it outside of cheating. It’s always better to confirm before dropping the bomb.
He’s sounds like kind of a jerk, TBH. Very narcissistic traits. When someone tells you, “It’s all in your head,” it’s a HUGE red flag. Trust yourself. Trust your gut. And don’t date a guy who is condescending toward you. You are worthy of respect. Especially from yourSELF.
In a lot of Japanese porn, the girls are infantilized. They’re often crying, saying no, or demonstrating fear. Maybe he has internalized this to believe that those behaviors are “feminine,” and you being into it/wanting it is perceived as masculine, which is turning him off.
IN NO WAY IS THAT NORMAL AND IN NO WAY IS THAT PERCEPTION CORRECT. You are healthy and perfectly normal. He, on the other hand, sounds like he is in need of some therapy regarding his views on sex.
Get ready to be cheated on by her when her “shitty” memory comes into play. I've been smoking weed since I was 13 and my memory isn't so bad that I forget who I've had sex with. Your GF is using weed as an excuse and it's pathetic. Break up with her before she breaks your heart.
Stress can definitely mess with sex drive. If you haven't had a serious conversation with him about it yet, it's definitely time. My husband and I have been married 13 years and there are highs and lows in all kinds of areas, our sex life included. He needs more physical touch than I do, and I don't always do a great job of making sure that need for him is met, and I'm not just talking about sex there, but also simple things like hand holding and the like. There have been a handful of times where he's just had a conversation with me about it, telling him how it makes him feel, etc, and asking for me to make simple concessions for him. It's a calm conversation where he focuses on HIS feelings and letting me know what he needs/would appreciate from me, and also is checking in with me on MY feelings to make sure there's nothing of note with me that has made me drop off on things. For me, I have ADHD and sometimes just genuinely go for a good period of time without even realizing I haven't done xyz with or for him that I usually try to think about, and him having that conversation with me gives me the ability to put those things back towards the forefront of my mind, because they aren't things that I don't ALSO enjoy, just things that I'm less effected by if they aren't happening.
I've seen you mention couples counseling, and that's definitely a good idea because it will help develop solid communication skills between you that work for you 2 specifically, but a calm conversation that's not blaming him but bringing up your needs and feelings while checking in with him and HIS needs and feelings would be a great start until you guys get in to someone.
Why does every combination works so well?
Take them at face value. They sound like nice people. This isn’t something worth ruining a relationship over. Sure, if it was awkward between all of you (them showing obvious disapproving signs of you being there) it would make sense you feeling this way.
Instead, you could be shooting your self in the foot by self sabotaging your relationship like this.
Your family may not have been that way with others, but some are. His is one of them. Enjoy it.
He was cyber stalking you, just to see how you were doing.
Sorry. You are paranoid. Clearly.
It really is, and I think you made the right decision. ❤️
Cheating is cheating. It's no different if she slept with a man or a woman. If you don't think it “counts” because she slept with a woman, then you need to reevaluate your biphobia and figure out why you don't think sex between two women is a valid as sex between a woman and a man.
i’m sorry bro but look at it this way at least you found out now and not later plus she lost you it’s her loss
So… I should work at it? What if I go nuts again? I'm scared of going back to how I was. I was explosive and my arms were full of wounds. Does it get better after?