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Slava, 18 y.o.
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Date: January 7, 2023
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I know several former alcoholics. One of them behaves like this and hasn't stopped. The rest understand that just because they had a problem doesn't mean everyone else has the same problem.
He's projecting his issues with alcohol on to you. Is he still attending meetings? Ask him to bring this up and talk about it with the group.
You may want to see if there is a spouse/family support group for AA or SMART recovery nearby that you could attend to see what other people have done in similar situations.
You both need to get educated on ethical nonmonogamy, and have excellent communication, boundaries to make this be something that enriches your relationship instead of destroying it. There are books and workshops available on this stuff and if you both want this relationship to survive opening it up to sex parties then you will have to educate yourselves and do the work. Otherwise you will be back here in a few months with a post about how going to swingers parties destroyed your marriage.
This wouldn't happen to be because of a skin color thing, would it?
Either way, he's treating you like a doormat and that sucks. DTMFA.
Congratulations on you soon to be LO. This is a deal breaker for me for several reasons. First, you could have LO at any time. You could have several times you may need to go to the doctors/hospital in the next few weeks. It is completely ridiculous as well as disheartening that your H thinks his request is perfectly fine. It isn’t.
Next the nursery and other household jobs that need to be completed before LO comes haven’t been addressed and your H doesn’t plan on doing them because he has no money for them but has money to travel. Hell no! Again your family comes before his friend. No if ands or buts about that that.
Now let’s get real. No way on gods green earth would I be receptive to my H taking a vacation with another woman. He has a dear friend that he has known for 40 years. Who I adore but vacation alone. Fuck no!
This woman has never met you. He prioritizes his girlfriend over his wife and family. Again no!
You should be first priority and your LO. I would tell him this is a boundary and that you do not want to go. To go and if he does than you know that this marriage is doomed and you will move forward accordingly. This is an emotional affair that he is trying to make physical. He needs to decide his friend or you and his family.
You deserve better! Your child deserves better!!!!
It doesn't effing matter if she blames you, someone as mentally unbalanced as she is should never be a cop anyway, chances are once she took their mentally sound test she'd fail anyway..The next time she threatens suicide then you tell her “OK, I have to go” and proceed to call the cops on her and give them her address, I guarantee she will stop that manipulative bullshit real fast.