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Date: October 2, 2022
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Came here to say this. I'm sorry, 31 yo mom of 1 here. I wouldn't even look at a drinker anymore, nevermind an alcoholic. You've got to catch yourself before you wreck yourself.
He would never hurt his own daughter/son. But the way he’s acted is concerning and he needs to see he’s doing wrong
He asked for a divorce because you showed him that you never intend to “have responsibilities”. You intend to half-ass the smallest things he asks you to do to help lighten his load and then brush it off with “I'm not used to having responsibilities”. He's not leaving you over the dishes. He's leaving you because you refuse to do anything to prioritize him the way he has done for you.
Also, your little post title? Gross. You wrote it the way you did to try to set bias against him *from the very beginning*. You are selfish and rude.
Only share what you are comfortable sharing. Many abusive people utilise past abuse against new partners. Share triggers if they're likely to come up and get to know him slowly over time before deciding which parts you want them or need them to know.
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Could you two take a cooking class together? Pick out some recipes on Allrecipes.com or in a cook book and cook together? Get one of the meal prep services for one dish a month?
Or maybe leave the grilling to him and you prep the sides?
I dunno. My partner would grill something every night for dinner and that would be that if I weren’t around. No side, just meat. He eats a salad at lunch and calls it good. So I hear you. I enjoy cooking and do the majority of it. He actually can make some pretty good stuff but it’s one pot kind of thing—no juggling stovetop space or oven temps or coordinating so everything is done at the same time. That’s a skill he just doesn’t have.
Okay woah, agreed that he needs to talk about what happened, but the level of intimacy is where the real question is. OP's been really careful to not explicitly say what cuddling means, so I think “cuddling” isn't the right word.
Because like I've said, cuddling is totally neutral. I cuddle my kid, my cat and inanimate objects and don't have any kind of “oh did I cheat on my SO” reaction. Cuddling isn't the bad guy in the situation, cuddling rocks and we should honestly cuddle a lot more, but in this situation it's bad.
Okay woah, agreed that he needs to talk about what happened, but the level of intimacy is where the real question is. OP's been really careful to not explicitly say what cuddling means, so I think “cuddling” isn't the right word.
Because like I've said, cuddling is totally neutral. I cuddle my kid, my cat and inanimate objects and don't have any kind of “oh did I cheat on my SO” reaction. Cuddling isn't the bad guy in the situation, cuddling rocks and we should honestly cuddle a lot more, but in this situation it's bad.
Ask home what the joke is? He’s degrading women and gets a thrill out of asking them sexual questions. Equally as worse is he doesn’t care about your boundaries or feelings. Why do you want to be with someone like this?
I would say to just end it, there's never a good time, if it's not a birthday, it's valentines day, if it's not valentines it's your next milestone, so on and so forth.
This is going to come as a shock whether you do it before or after his birthday. At least if you do it now things won't end with you “faking it” for his birthday, for “his sake”.
I drink and I know things.
He also owes her like $2400 ?
“I don't like recognition of my accomplishments”
ok, no promotion then
“wait… not like that!”
what a passive aggressive insecure man boy. if he isn't your ex by now you will be in so much trouble once he goes full manosphere.
????? right this here!!!
You lost me when you called her goddess. She's a stranger on the internet. Wtf is wrong with you?
Do her (& yourself) the favor, my friend; set her loose to find said husband.
Also plz be strong & smart enough not to take her back when she inevitably realizes to good man will tolerate her. Seriously, let her go.
two in the pink, one in the stink.
Listen to this, OP.
They’re 21, why waste your time on a clown if you don’t want to be in the circus
There is zero reason to buy a 1.5 million dollar house as your first home. Especially at current interest rates. Even with a 300k or 450k mortgage, that is still 1.05 to 1.2 million borrowed from the bank.
The fact that you each saved 150k is impressive. Many people have partners who are unable to save that much over a lifetime and they still make it work.
Your problem seems to he that your partner misled you about the money, which is valid. And it should also go without saying not to buy a house with anyone that you aren't married to.
Hiw does his brother simply have $150k laying around not invested? Does his brother not have his own financial goals? What kind of repayment schedule would there be? Interest rate? Or would the brother have equity in the house instead?
At a minimum, you need to be part of the conversation with his brother. If you aren't close with his brother then don't borrow money from him.
A 1.5 million dollar house could easily drop 33% in value, leaving you underwater.
Why not buy a $1 million house with a $300k down payment? You are already stressed about the costs of a 1.5 million dollar house. Mortgage interest, property taxes, utilities, home insurance maintenance, etc. are all unrecoverable costs that increase significantly (exponentially) with the size of a house. If you want to have kids in the next 5 years then buy a 3br townhouse instead. (Just make sure you are buying something that you could online in for 10+ years in the event house prices drop).
Lol he's not gay. He's you're basic ass dude. I don't like that's what people jump to because they think men have to be horny all the time. :/
I dont think it's a fair expectation and I think it's harmful to men as a community.
He's not gay. The way he talks about me and has sex with me it's obvious he's not gay.