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Date: September 30, 2022
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What are you on about?
They are similar because of them both being dealbreakers from the past.
You can compare everything in life. It’s just 2 things from completely different genres is generally nude to compare because we measure them differently.
But I know why you get defensive even with your little(no offense). You are promiscuous women who cannot accept the fact that your choices has compromised your dating situation. Now go marry a wimpy wimp who would compromise his own values to just have sex with you. He will never be interested in you as a person, just your vagina. He will do as you please, but only because you have sex with him.
Any self respecting man is as repulsed by hoes as woman are repulsed by abusers. End of.
Yes, we both have. Not instinct like “I am not attracted to this guy but I will stay because it is safe”. More like “this person will turn sour eventually like the rest of them did”. For me, the instinct is that women become abusive to me and not to trust them. For her, men disappeared from her life. Given the track record, we were both fair to think that way. Given time, we were able to realize that not everyone is like the people who raised us
I see that now. I really thought I had my friend back, but he's just been using me to fill whatever void he has. I'm absolutely heartbroken about it. I told him how I felt and I can see he left me on read. Granted, he said he's working right now. So, he may respond later, but I don't care anymore. I'm done being his toy.
Does it worry you that you could be contribute to someone's overwhelming pain and feel little guilt? I mean all you need to do is read some posts from people who have been cheated on and see how badly it messes with you.
If you can’t express your feelings to your partner, something’s wrong. This may not be the right relationship for you.
This is normal. You need to wait this out. The feelings will settle after a while. Keep yourself busy with what you need to do. Focus on your studies, etc.
Unless something traumatic happened to you in that time that greatly impacted your attachment style (which does happen but not often), it’s more likely you have traits of both anxious and avoidant, which is it’s own category called disorganized attachment.
Piece of shit
I’m hoping you have other friends? Because you are among the betrayed in this situation, Ellie betrayed you and you deserve support through this. Obviously you’ve not been betrayed as badly as your sister or her children, and your sister isn’t someone you can look to for support in this. But you should be reaching out to others for support, you deserve it.
That's also a good point I wasn't thinking about at the time. No one else should be reporting this without her explicit permission.
Yeh I guess so, I mentioned to my mother that I was struggling to get over her and that keeping that line open was hurting me. She said she would mention her less so there’s that.
It’s just consistently throughout the relationship she always stated we would remain friends, I genuinely thought that to be true. I thought we were so intertwined into each others lives that it would be utterly impossible to not stay in touch.
Maybe I was really naive to believe that. I don’t know. it’s just so naked because we made eachother really happy and I just made stupid impulsive decisions which put the relationship in jeopardy.
I wish I could become that better person for her, not someone else in the future.
Thank you for your replies btw, it is definitely helping put things into perspective.
Yes, it is.
Sad story. What is he doing to deal with his trauma, other than grabbing your neck? Over draining the sink nonetheless.
This would have been a dealbreaker to me. An immediate one. If you insist on staying, there have to be strict rules – you don’t live together, he goes to therapy individually and you two start working with a counselor. Is it worth it? I don’t think so. But you do you.
Among other things. I’m sure his missionary sex once a month on a full moon will be fun!
You misspelled EX.
Well I’m not lowering my standards and this isn’t a game. Why would I want a partner just to use them? I don’t need a man to use him. If that was the case I would be with multiple man and get everything I want if I needed it that bad.
Your husband is an asshole. It sounds like he got this horrible dog to punish you. He doesn’t care about you, his children or even the dog he insisted on getting. Can you leave and take your baby? Possibly move in with your mom or other family? Is your step kids’ mother in the picture and can come pick them up so you can leave without worry of him stopping you?
Yes, OP is still very young and like all of us likely believes this guy is it. It’s nude to imagine a day will exist where you will barely remember this man’s face let alone his name. Op there’s so much out there for you to experience, don’t waste your time living in a constant state of stress over a man that doesn’t deserve you. It took me until my forties to know my worth. There’s no one on this earth I can’t live without except the two humans that came from me.
Tell her bf, and/or find a guy to sleepover with.
He simply does not understand your concern until he is in your shoes.