Honestly I would feel the same way your gf does, without a conversation with her about why you did all that for your ex and not her she's going to feel slighted. This is a tough situation but I think it would help to explain things to her or step it up, not necessarily by spending more money on her but by showing her love in other ways, acts of service, quality time together, physical affection, ect.
That’s what I figured but the lack of clarity is probably what’s going to rile people up in the comments.
Honestly best you can do is give her the space she needs and apologize and move on if you want to.
Personally I’m not a huge fan of the “don’t communicate with me” if everything else has been relatively healthy and non abusive from the partners side thing. But clearly she’s not mentally well and trying to work through that so the decision is to try and go along with it as best you can or leave.
If you want to stay with her, best you can do is give her that space until you want to leave. And not focus too much on “why” she feels the way she does if she wants to break up or has different rules.
It isn’t logical, there’s no reasoning through her trauma. Would prepare yourself by focusing on that, but I’m sure you already understand that to some degree.
It doesn’t mean she’s bad for being “illogical” but it’s one of the primary factors in this situation.
Normally I wouldn't view this kind of outing as particularly romantic, despite being very meaningful. I would personally choose a different day for it – possibly right before Valentines. But you know your relationship and your partner better than anyone else.
To echo the points of others, you can just make up some stuff about how you got reprimanded for doing free haircuts outside of a licensed business and that 100% of your haircuts have to take place in a salon now. It’s a easy way to kill the free haircut program and get everyone off your back. This seems like a boyfriend perk and no one else.
Nah, I think if a woman said he tried to come on to me but I couldn’t move him but then changed it to well I didn’t try to move him because I wanted it, then it would be the same thing. Now if he or a hypothetical she said someone was pushing themselves onto them and wouldn’t stop and that was the truth and never changed their turn then we would be all saying they were for sure SA’ed.
Don't just physically leave the house but also the relationship. This guy and his family are disrespectful, controlling and dismissive and seeing that you see this, avoid more heartbreak by always choosing you.
She wasn't 16 the entire time she was keeping it a secret ??
She’s not even on the same continent as her mum, how is she going to drive her anywhere?
You're in the shower, and you feel like peeing. Do you get out of the bath?
Honestly I would feel the same way your gf does, without a conversation with her about why you did all that for your ex and not her she's going to feel slighted. This is a tough situation but I think it would help to explain things to her or step it up, not necessarily by spending more money on her but by showing her love in other ways, acts of service, quality time together, physical affection, ect.
That’s what I figured but the lack of clarity is probably what’s going to rile people up in the comments.
Honestly best you can do is give her the space she needs and apologize and move on if you want to.
Personally I’m not a huge fan of the “don’t communicate with me” if everything else has been relatively healthy and non abusive from the partners side thing. But clearly she’s not mentally well and trying to work through that so the decision is to try and go along with it as best you can or leave.
If you want to stay with her, best you can do is give her that space until you want to leave. And not focus too much on “why” she feels the way she does if she wants to break up or has different rules.
It isn’t logical, there’s no reasoning through her trauma. Would prepare yourself by focusing on that, but I’m sure you already understand that to some degree.
It doesn’t mean she’s bad for being “illogical” but it’s one of the primary factors in this situation.
You and your partner need to come to an agreement about how to handle the situation, and they need to be the one to communicate it to their parents.
Some possible approaches:
Only accept things as loans until you get a permanent version yourself.
Ask for gift cards or go shopping together with their parents.
Only accept a few small, meaningful pieces. If they really bug you, they can be tucked away until the parents are coming to visit.
Whats the question here?
Normally I wouldn't view this kind of outing as particularly romantic, despite being very meaningful. I would personally choose a different day for it – possibly right before Valentines. But you know your relationship and your partner better than anyone else.
Couples counseling is not recommended with an abuser – he will use the sessions to manipulate you and abuse you further.
To echo the points of others, you can just make up some stuff about how you got reprimanded for doing free haircuts outside of a licensed business and that 100% of your haircuts have to take place in a salon now. It’s a easy way to kill the free haircut program and get everyone off your back. This seems like a boyfriend perk and no one else.
That was my read too, but I saw quite a few comments earlier reading it in different ways and wanted to check. He sounds absolutely horrible.
Nah, I think if a woman said he tried to come on to me but I couldn’t move him but then changed it to well I didn’t try to move him because I wanted it, then it would be the same thing. Now if he or a hypothetical she said someone was pushing themselves onto them and wouldn’t stop and that was the truth and never changed their turn then we would be all saying they were for sure SA’ed.
Don't just physically leave the house but also the relationship. This guy and his family are disrespectful, controlling and dismissive and seeing that you see this, avoid more heartbreak by always choosing you.
I kinow a red flag when I see one…RUN