I think making it a big deal might hurt his feelings more than if you said it off handedly. Simply saying 'baby i know my food is delicious but would you mind eating more quietly?' In a playful way might be the solution. You can also play music or tv in the background to make it less noticeable.
I agree i worked a+e for over a decade and I have to put my hands up and admit you do become desensitised. Some of what I've seen is indescribable. My family know I don't have I lot of sympathy- but I am the same with myself and whilst I have multiple 'problems ' I cant abide people feeling sorry for me or trying to do stuff for me. I am more empathetic at work though
What a controlling… well, never mind, don't wanna get banned. Anyway, force her to tell you what she objects to in him. If she balks and says she just doesn't like him, I'd just distance from her and stick with family members who are civil.
I do think it's worth trying to unravel her complaints about him. If it's race, she's racist. If it's religion, she's bigoted. If it's his drug selling charge from 5 years ago, the might have reason to be unhappy with him. I do say that partners whose family and personal history is more similar usually have better outcomes. So some of her grievances might be reality based (for instance, interracial marriages can be very difficult, not insurmountably, but there are two sets of family expectations to deal with).
So, you are 23 and you are going to make mistakes. I am not going to lecture you on safe drinking, but it is a good time to learn your limits.
However, you didn't do anything to your boyfriend. Having a weird uber experience, then waking up in a hospital must have been traumatic and scary, and rather than be a support system the dude is turning himself into a victim. That's terrible he was cheated on in the past, but that's also not your problem to fix.
Get yourself supportive people to be around. If he keeps bringing it up tell him right now you'd like his support and some empathy that you got yourself into a bad situation & you are planning on learning from it, but you aren't his target to bash about cheating.
If he can't do that then his insecurities are ruining the relationship, not you.
Thing is, if you do manage to convince them that it's residual and they start giving you cash, how do they know you're not going to start buying weed and relying on the old “oh, it must be residual!” when you piss wrong.
I have an argumentative parter and it's so frustrating. I don't know what to do either.
I think making it a big deal might hurt his feelings more than if you said it off handedly. Simply saying 'baby i know my food is delicious but would you mind eating more quietly?' In a playful way might be the solution. You can also play music or tv in the background to make it less noticeable.
I agree i worked a+e for over a decade and I have to put my hands up and admit you do become desensitised. Some of what I've seen is indescribable. My family know I don't have I lot of sympathy- but I am the same with myself and whilst I have multiple 'problems ' I cant abide people feeling sorry for me or trying to do stuff for me. I am more empathetic at work though
But, without wanting to hate on you, you're not his better half if you can't communicate with him and are lying to him by omission
What a controlling… well, never mind, don't wanna get banned. Anyway, force her to tell you what she objects to in him. If she balks and says she just doesn't like him, I'd just distance from her and stick with family members who are civil.
I do think it's worth trying to unravel her complaints about him. If it's race, she's racist. If it's religion, she's bigoted. If it's his drug selling charge from 5 years ago, the might have reason to be unhappy with him. I do say that partners whose family and personal history is more similar usually have better outcomes. So some of her grievances might be reality based (for instance, interracial marriages can be very difficult, not insurmountably, but there are two sets of family expectations to deal with).
So, you are 23 and you are going to make mistakes. I am not going to lecture you on safe drinking, but it is a good time to learn your limits.
However, you didn't do anything to your boyfriend. Having a weird uber experience, then waking up in a hospital must have been traumatic and scary, and rather than be a support system the dude is turning himself into a victim. That's terrible he was cheated on in the past, but that's also not your problem to fix.
Get yourself supportive people to be around. If he keeps bringing it up tell him right now you'd like his support and some empathy that you got yourself into a bad situation & you are planning on learning from it, but you aren't his target to bash about cheating.
If he can't do that then his insecurities are ruining the relationship, not you.
Yes, it's alarming
Thing is, if you do manage to convince them that it's residual and they start giving you cash, how do they know you're not going to start buying weed and relying on the old “oh, it must be residual!” when you piss wrong.
Exactly. People are completely overlooking him cheating and kind of insinuating that she’s purposefully not wanting to have sex.