I find it really naked to read and follow. But it seems you two aren't suited for each other. she wants your total devotion and attention. You like to hang with friends and visit and see people that she's not comfortable being around. I can't tell if she's being overly controlling and trying to isolate you from your friends or she's just really needy. you're very social and you like visiting friends and she feels like she takes a back seat. So in any case you two don't work.
You're referring to common law marriage. It only applies in a few states, and It doesn't take effect after only 2 or 2 years anywhere.
States that still have common law marriages are Colorado, Iowa, Kansas, Montana, New Hampshire, Oklahoma, Rhode Island, South Carolina, Texas, Utah and the District of Columbia.
He sounds like he is confused and lost as well. There really isn't anything you can do for him; he has to figure it out for himself. I'm sorry this is happening to you, but there really is not much you can do if he doesn't want to continue the relationship while he sorts this issue out.
Yeah I agree. Saying you never mention it but singing danish songs on birthdays is a bit cringe. I’m born in one country, raised in another and been in the U.K. for 10 years but I’ve never sang a birthday song for someone here in any of my native languages. I think he’s being harsh but you might want to consider if you’re using your heritage as a personality replacement.
yeah I confronted him about the message the stripper sent and of course he was like “you need to not feed into that bullshit and call me right now. you're flipping out over nothing and making assumptions, she's just mad she didnt get any of my money that night so shes trying to sabotage our relationship” so its just fucking gaslighting. Im just gonna leave and block. as much as it hurts, it hurts a whole fucking lot dealing with all of this cheating and drinking and yelling and disappearing too.
I wish I could but he wont let me take him to rehab or even detox. Or even just to the emergency bed at his job for a couple of days. The night all of this cheating and him ending up in a bush downtown happened I got him a bed at a really nice medical detox for the next afternoon, he promised he would go just not to the shitty one downtown. but we got all the way out there and he refused to come out of the car for me or any of the admissions nurses. He literally works at a rehab and lives at the sober living connected to that program, but they're obviously enabling him too because so far hes gotten fucked up in their house several times, missed work, shown up hungover or geeked out, disappeared for weekends, and he still has a job and there to live. I wish i could make him want to go back to detox and get back on the vivtrol shot but hes not gonna do anything he doesn't believe he needs unfortunately. It sucks that he didn't care about this relationship when I did so deeply, but i'm just glad I got desperate and turned to reddit for a kick in the ass and some encouragement to move on and do better for myself.
Damn, she definately should have told you about the friend when you’ve seen him 100 times. That’s just dirty on her part. If it was a random stranger that neither of you would ever see again, that’s one thing, but to someone who’s a friend to both of you?? That’s just downright dirty and insane for her to not to tell you that.
But sounds like this was all a long time ago when she was young and now it’s many years later so clearly she wants to be with you more than them. It would bother me a lot that she did that tbh…you should sleep with one of her friends as revenge.
Loose skin absolutely counts for plenty of weight. I can't get the last few off because they're literally just hanging there and I don't have fat stored in the dermis layers. Plus, my bones developed denser because they supported my weight, and I had a bone scan to check I wasn't getting osteoporosis because I'd had anorexia so long (but I only ever got to a US 10, I'm 5'10 too) and they were like “DAMN YOU THICC” about my BONES it's so cool. I got a photo of the scan.
Thank you for this. I have also researched this topic extensively and have worked with several individuals who, due to trauma in childhood, struggle with an attraction to children. In particular, one person stands out to me as someone who didn't want the attraction, would never consider acting on the attraction in any way – not viewing CP and certainly not harming a child.
It is so heavily stigmatized (understandable) so seeking treatment is incredibly difficult for many and for those who have not acted on this attraction shouldn't be treated the same as people who have, especially when taking steps to deal with it.
Okay we'll stick to your shitty life then. No one can help you, only yourself can better your life. Stop making excuses for her and open your damn eyes.
This. I been called an asshole in other subs when i mention my ex being in contact with his ex bothers me. That relationship did not end well because it ate me up inside how he still kept his pictures with his exes on his fb cover pictures and still in contact, later on his ex became a family friend suggesting that the ex should join us on our trip. All my boundaries got broken relationship ended. We stayed in contact as friends for a while but he deleted and blocked me and that ex soon as he found someone new. He either learned from his mistakes or i wasnt that important to begin with, more likely the second
I think this is the answer. Maybe she was doing it to save face in case I saw on social media, but she is essentially trying to end the friendship. The text felt very clumsy and oddly rude coming from her. Also I ~ did~ see a picture on social media and it was a pretty large group with mutual friends. Didn’t know we had a falling out, but I guess she thinks we did. And I’m way too busy with a newborn to ask why and work through it with her.
In his previous post he sent footage of his exgf having sex to her parents. He's just a shitty dude.
Like cheating is indeed very shitty. Sending footage of your gf having sex to everyone she knows including her parents is far far far worse. At least to me.
My dude, she hit you. I have CPTSD and I have never EVER hit someone. If I did, you can bet I would be removing myself from the home to keep other people safe and having an emergency session with my therapist to figure out how to proceed to ensure the people in my life are safe. She has done nothing to actually prevent herself from doing this in the future.
You need to love yourself and care for yourself more than you care for Jane.
It sounds like you are asking strangers for permission to break up with her. A relationship should nurture you and help you grow. Ups and downs are to be expected, but it seems like she needs to get to a more stable place before dating. You could try asserting boundaries about what you need. Like, “I'm going to take some alone time on Monday- Thursday to get rest for work.” Or “I'm going to step away from you when we're out if you get upset about me paying for our dates.”
Ultimately, you should probably end the relationship. Before you do, be sure her family knows your plans and is ready to offer additional support and observation.
Your husband wants a weekend getaway with another woman. What?! He won't go anywhere with you, but he will spend $2k to go see this other woman? It sounds like there's something inappropriate going on between them.
I think you need to find out why this woman is so important to him that he'd rather go see her than spend the money going somewhere with you, or even put it towards the nursery in some way.
I have to be honest, if I were his wife, there's no way in hell I'd be letting that happen.
Wanted a pet, but can't have a pet because of the dorm rules (at least, I never seen a dorm that allows pets) so… She went to the doctor saying she needs an emotional support animal, however… She decided to abandon the emotional support animal because (I guess) it's too much work for her to maintain.
Get rid of the cat. If others in the dorm think you have a pet, it might create resentment.
Don't pay him any rent. Play dumb since he's going to call you dumb and if you both get kicked out you have a chance to leave.
I find it really naked to read and follow. But it seems you two aren't suited for each other. she wants your total devotion and attention. You like to hang with friends and visit and see people that she's not comfortable being around. I can't tell if she's being overly controlling and trying to isolate you from your friends or she's just really needy. you're very social and you like visiting friends and she feels like she takes a back seat. So in any case you two don't work.
You're referring to common law marriage. It only applies in a few states, and It doesn't take effect after only 2 or 2 years anywhere.
States that still have common law marriages are Colorado, Iowa, Kansas, Montana, New Hampshire, Oklahoma, Rhode Island, South Carolina, Texas, Utah and the District of Columbia.
It’s so easy to drop in to conversation you have a partner without being “one of you those girls”
“Hey what are doing this weekend” “me and my fiancé are going hiking/my moms birthday dinner/a concert/the movies/my fiancés friends party”
So easy. She’s hiding you.
Don't go on a break if you want to remain together, exclusively.
You shouldn’t rely on a guy to buy you things, obviously. But, his response means he doesn’t care about you. Dump him.
I'd feel uncomfortable but that's me.
He sounds like he is confused and lost as well. There really isn't anything you can do for him; he has to figure it out for himself. I'm sorry this is happening to you, but there really is not much you can do if he doesn't want to continue the relationship while he sorts this issue out.
Wtf kinda joke is that.
No parent wants that mental image of their child.
Yeah I agree. Saying you never mention it but singing danish songs on birthdays is a bit cringe. I’m born in one country, raised in another and been in the U.K. for 10 years but I’ve never sang a birthday song for someone here in any of my native languages. I think he’s being harsh but you might want to consider if you’re using your heritage as a personality replacement.
yeah I confronted him about the message the stripper sent and of course he was like “you need to not feed into that bullshit and call me right now. you're flipping out over nothing and making assumptions, she's just mad she didnt get any of my money that night so shes trying to sabotage our relationship” so its just fucking gaslighting. Im just gonna leave and block. as much as it hurts, it hurts a whole fucking lot dealing with all of this cheating and drinking and yelling and disappearing too.
I wish I could but he wont let me take him to rehab or even detox. Or even just to the emergency bed at his job for a couple of days. The night all of this cheating and him ending up in a bush downtown happened I got him a bed at a really nice medical detox for the next afternoon, he promised he would go just not to the shitty one downtown. but we got all the way out there and he refused to come out of the car for me or any of the admissions nurses. He literally works at a rehab and lives at the sober living connected to that program, but they're obviously enabling him too because so far hes gotten fucked up in their house several times, missed work, shown up hungover or geeked out, disappeared for weekends, and he still has a job and there to live. I wish i could make him want to go back to detox and get back on the vivtrol shot but hes not gonna do anything he doesn't believe he needs unfortunately. It sucks that he didn't care about this relationship when I did so deeply, but i'm just glad I got desperate and turned to reddit for a kick in the ass and some encouragement to move on and do better for myself.
Damn, she definately should have told you about the friend when you’ve seen him 100 times. That’s just dirty on her part. If it was a random stranger that neither of you would ever see again, that’s one thing, but to someone who’s a friend to both of you?? That’s just downright dirty and insane for her to not to tell you that.
But sounds like this was all a long time ago when she was young and now it’s many years later so clearly she wants to be with you more than them. It would bother me a lot that she did that tbh…you should sleep with one of her friends as revenge.
Loose skin absolutely counts for plenty of weight. I can't get the last few off because they're literally just hanging there and I don't have fat stored in the dermis layers. Plus, my bones developed denser because they supported my weight, and I had a bone scan to check I wasn't getting osteoporosis because I'd had anorexia so long (but I only ever got to a US 10, I'm 5'10 too) and they were like “DAMN YOU THICC” about my BONES it's so cool. I got a photo of the scan.
Thank you for this. I have also researched this topic extensively and have worked with several individuals who, due to trauma in childhood, struggle with an attraction to children. In particular, one person stands out to me as someone who didn't want the attraction, would never consider acting on the attraction in any way – not viewing CP and certainly not harming a child.
It is so heavily stigmatized (understandable) so seeking treatment is incredibly difficult for many and for those who have not acted on this attraction shouldn't be treated the same as people who have, especially when taking steps to deal with it.
Okay we'll stick to your shitty life then. No one can help you, only yourself can better your life. Stop making excuses for her and open your damn eyes.
This. I been called an asshole in other subs when i mention my ex being in contact with his ex bothers me. That relationship did not end well because it ate me up inside how he still kept his pictures with his exes on his fb cover pictures and still in contact, later on his ex became a family friend suggesting that the ex should join us on our trip. All my boundaries got broken relationship ended. We stayed in contact as friends for a while but he deleted and blocked me and that ex soon as he found someone new. He either learned from his mistakes or i wasnt that important to begin with, more likely the second
I think this is the answer. Maybe she was doing it to save face in case I saw on social media, but she is essentially trying to end the friendship. The text felt very clumsy and oddly rude coming from her. Also I ~ did~ see a picture on social media and it was a pretty large group with mutual friends. Didn’t know we had a falling out, but I guess she thinks we did. And I’m way too busy with a newborn to ask why and work through it with her.
In his previous post he sent footage of his exgf having sex to her parents. He's just a shitty dude.
Like cheating is indeed very shitty. Sending footage of your gf having sex to everyone she knows including her parents is far far far worse. At least to me.
If the only issue is material, tell him you are fine if he proposes without a ring, then aim to save up for the ring together.
My dude, she hit you. I have CPTSD and I have never EVER hit someone. If I did, you can bet I would be removing myself from the home to keep other people safe and having an emergency session with my therapist to figure out how to proceed to ensure the people in my life are safe. She has done nothing to actually prevent herself from doing this in the future.
You need to love yourself and care for yourself more than you care for Jane.
So do what she so nonchalantly says and break up with her.
Appears you’re more invested here that she is?♀️?♀️
That's what I am also afraid of, that it will be the end of the relationshio instead of a break but I'm hoping for the best. Thank you
The fact he feels the need to call strangers ugly,or comment on their appearance at all, is concerning.
I'd say he's deliberately negging you. Trying to make you insecure so you'll think he's the best you can do.
Spoiler alert: he isn't
I want to leave honestly but will it not be wrong will i not be playing into the men are ass stereotype
It sounds like you are asking strangers for permission to break up with her. A relationship should nurture you and help you grow. Ups and downs are to be expected, but it seems like she needs to get to a more stable place before dating. You could try asserting boundaries about what you need. Like, “I'm going to take some alone time on Monday- Thursday to get rest for work.” Or “I'm going to step away from you when we're out if you get upset about me paying for our dates.”
Ultimately, you should probably end the relationship. Before you do, be sure her family knows your plans and is ready to offer additional support and observation.
Your husband wants a weekend getaway with another woman. What?! He won't go anywhere with you, but he will spend $2k to go see this other woman? It sounds like there's something inappropriate going on between them.
I think you need to find out why this woman is so important to him that he'd rather go see her than spend the money going somewhere with you, or even put it towards the nursery in some way.
I have to be honest, if I were his wife, there's no way in hell I'd be letting that happen.
Your roommate isn't a good person. She:
Wanted a pet, but can't have a pet because of the dorm rules (at least, I never seen a dorm that allows pets) so… She went to the doctor saying she needs an emotional support animal, however… She decided to abandon the emotional support animal because (I guess) it's too much work for her to maintain.
Get rid of the cat. If others in the dorm think you have a pet, it might create resentment.
He sounds exhausting. Aren’t you tired?
From your comments you’re just as bad as your boyfriend. You all suck.