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Happy friday!
Date: September 30, 2022
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What the fuck is this motherfucking obsession with body count?? Who the fuck cares bro? You have the relationship to find out how you are treated by your current partner and that should be that. I was a singer for a progressive rock band before I met my wife and if my body count was ever a factor for her, that would've been a red flag for me. What matters is your body count after the start of your relationship. We have even talked about our exes and you know what, IT WAS NOT EVER AN ISSUE in the 7 years we've been married. We're still together by the way. So fuck your boyfriend. There are other more decent people out there.
Yeah maybe I’m just overthinking it
I think the Essex thing is because she had an ex from there and it’s set her against the place? But she doesn’t want to know that Bob isn’t a fan of Essex and moved away the second he could (we don’t on-line anywhere near there now) it’s just become another stick to beat him with I think… I think at this rate he couldn’t do anything right?
TBH by giving him a free pass his whole life, they're guilty of shaping him into becoming the POS that he is. Do the other relatives actually know he was beating his BM?
You keep on going on and on about how he should have said in the moment, have you thought about why he hasn't said it in the moment? You weren't sober and your filter was non-existed, if I was your boyfriend I would have done the same to prevent further escalation. You might say you would have stopped, because you are sober now. But that might not have been the case when you were drunk.
You are responsible for working on these issues, that doesn't mean it isn't very hot because you are on the spectrum. Even in your edits you keep thinking that it is your partners job to teach you how to read social que's. You're 23 right now, discus this with your therapist. This is your responsibility not your partners.
Everybody poops. It’s okay.
I would highly recommend a book by Emily Nagoski called Come as You Are which has lots of helpful advice, scenarios and explanations on sex and sex drive after children and in general.
This is honestly up to your level of pain tolerance. Mine is zero for relationships. She knew what she was doing because she texted you during it. She made a choice and even tried to just lie about it instead of being honest. The part that I really would not get past is the guy being part of the friend group AND her friends trying to humiliate you like that. Shows they have zero respect for you at all.
Something tells me there is more to the story then she is telling you. My advice would be to just bounce. It’s not worth the embarrassment while your so young. I’m betting she has also cheated after.
The key way to see how shitty she is, is from the line she gave you about seeing a future with you while she is getting railed out by camper John
Entire thread is stacked with the goddamn jackoff-police
I can see you suffer my same frustration, as I can also picture what is going to work best for the room, from a “flow” standpoint. That is part of my dislike for doing it.
I have had some good suggestions so far that I hopefully can use as a compromise.
I am probably a bit more sensitive to this issue because of the example below:
No too long ago my wife had movers move in a large approximately 600 pound armoire into our master bedroom. This was something a friend was getting rid of as part of a move. It was enormous. It cost about $1200.00 for 3 guys to transport it, and move it up a spiral staircase. We have a good size master, though It turned out to not fit anywhere very well.
It was decided that was a hindrance in the room. Instead of spending another $1200.00 to have it moved out, I took a sledgehammer to it because of the cost and what to do with it. I felt sad about having to destroy it, though we didn't have much choice.
There is if it's a co-worker he's interested in
I’m just lost on if she’s so confident she’ll come back after the break why is a break necessary? However, she’s also suggested that she feels she may be “missing out” and doesn’t want regrets when we get married because I’m the only guy she’s ever done more than kiss with.
This feels like a break up to me. Break the engagement, cancel the wedding. Have a proper break up. There's no 'halfway house'. You both need the proper space and time to see if you want to proceed.
I also wanted to comment on this.
I’m obviously not a mental health expert nor can I read her mind but I’m convinced I know her true feelings maybe better than her right now.
I can normally tell when she’s having a good mental health day vs bad and tried to explain to her that I think those feelings are coming from her condition(s)
This honestly sounds to me like you spend a lot of time telling her what she is thinking and feeling. That's not ok. She needs time and space to figure her own thoughts out, not having you intrusively insert your opinion of her feelings onto her. You may not be doing this intentionally, but it is emotionally manipulative and you should stop. (also reflect on why you do this)
A couple inviting a stranger in for a 3some is swinging. Or 2 for a 4some. I'm guessing she already has the guy in mind and is in some way internalising it as not being poly. Happy to be wrong but you did ask.
What a loser. And imho it's two fold: – doesn't give a shit about you and your recovery from a very recent operation. Are you just there for his sexual gratification? – doesn't feel upset about your recent miscarriage. It's his baby too. Doesn't he care?