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stranger-girl Public Chat Channel
Date: October 29, 2022
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But that's just an assumption on her part, to be fair. She hasn't asked him anything about why he watches those.
Her response to you was uncalled for, but a lot of what you have to say here is frankly disgusting.
Trying to scare someone elderly into accepting persistent yelling and bullying – so emotional abuse – via invoking the fear of aging alone? What the hell is wrong with you? I truly hope someone uses this poisonous tactic against you when you are elderly and emotionally vulnerable.
Relationships with abusive family members are not the prize you seem to think they are and do not improve old age for the targets of elder abuse.
Associating your idol with telling people to accept abuse without drawing boundaries is a classic for your cult, I suppose.
Ok so I am going to come out of left field for a lot of you. But first off you are 19, young and the world is wide open to you. If you are unhappy and concerned that list of sacrifices to appease your GF will eternally grow. You first, need to reconcile these things with her. Tell her why you don't like it, open her eyes to what you perceive as sacrifices and alterations to yourself for her. She will probably blow your doors off when she gives her perspective. From there you guys need to work on a compromise. So, this is the make or break moment for long term relationships, either A, you guys can come up with a mutual understanding ensuring that both parties are respected, or B, you make the choice you are ok with the list growing because you are mentally strong enough to show her your love by endless sacrifice. I promise you it won't be endless, there will come a point where she sees what you are doing and she will start doing the same to match your energy. At least thats how me and my wife operate 13 years into this. I give up some after a bit she notices and she gives up some and we then realize what is going on and decide on if what we are giving up is worth it. Now here is the controversial part, there is a 3rd option, this is more taboo and frowned upon by people with traditional relationship values, but, you guys could open it up while you are apart. If you feel the love you both share is strong enough, and you guys come up with good healthy boundaries of what is and is not acceptable, there is no reason a semi open relationship cannot work to get you guys through the separated parts. My wife and I do this when we are going to be apart for prolonged amounts of time. We know the temporary partners are purely there to keep certain needs satisfied and they know that as well going into it. As we have done this over the years it has actually brought us even closer together, we know and understand each other in ways you just wouldn't think possible, we operate on the same wavelengths, our drives match each others, we compete with each other which in turn motivates us to one up each other in everything. It takes both parties not having insecurities and both parties being madly in love with each other on a lot of levels, but also understanding that from time to time a change of pace is needed and can be provided by temporary 3rd parties. Whatever you decide, at least take the steps to make things with your GF as strong as possible from both sides, but at the end of the day, listen to your heart and follow where it may take you while you are still young and the world starts to try to crush you.
Doing the Lord's work, thank you for your service!
Okay, then here’s my question. How do you feel about Leonardo DeCaprio’s refusal to date anyone over the age of 25? Is that not morally murky?
This is a fundamental difference between the two of you. She, for religious and/or ideological reasons wants to save it for marriage. You don't. As someone twice your age, my perspective is different to yours. I have been married before, and I did have sex with her before marriage. I personally believe that you need to know if you're fully compatible before you commit to the rest of your life with someone. Imagine if you're a woman and discover that your man had a tiny weenie? Or if your girlfriend's libido is a lot lower than your own?
Some might argue that if you're a virgin when you marry, you're not “missing out” on anything when it comes to sex, as you have no prior benchmarks. If you can't agree on this, then parting ways will likely be your only option
You said no. End of story.
It could easily tear apart the friend group if I handle this wrong and she starts drama about it. I’d prefer to break up, pretend to everyone else that it was a mutual breakup on good terms, then try to just be friends and move on for the sake of keeping our friend group together.
Given what she did though, I’m worried she wouldn’t be willing to do just accept responsibility and do that. That she tell everyone (and push a twisted version of events) and tear the friend group apart by forcing people to pick sides. But as I think about it more and more, I’m not sure there’s a way I can handle it to break up with her without risking her doing that.
I'm sorry that there's so many comments making this about you wanting attention or being a shitty parent already. It's quite obviously about your shitty family continuing to not prioritise you or value you, during the one event in your life where you thought for sure you would be.
That's a horrible, horrible thing to feel, it must be absolutely devestating. And I'm so sorry that you're in this position.
In one of your comments, someone says “move far away”, and you responded with “I wish I could”. There's another comment about saying you'll limit your relationship between you all after baby is born if they don't treat you better, and they called you manipulative (and didn't address your concerns). Those two comments, to me, indicate pretty clearly that you are very aware of how broken this dynamic is, and how you are never going to be prioritised the way you should, and that it's bordering on time to cut your losses and begin to put some distance between yourself and your family, for your mental health and the sake of your child. I think you maybe just need a push to do so, or perhaps even the validation that it's okay to do so.
And I want to tell you that it is okay. You can decide that enough is enough, and walk away, put some distance and boundaries between you all, and know that it's okay. Your family is wrong, it is not manipulative to refuse to subject your child to this behaviour. And yes, the behaviour is awful, and you are being treated absolutely deplorably. You deserve better than this. And it is okay to decide to make things better for yourself, even with a baby on the way.
I'm sorry, but as I'm sure you already know, your birth family unit is broken. Your sister(s?) is the golden child, while you are the family scapegoat. And I think you need to focus on building a new family, especially right now. So just know that it's okay to set some boundaries, to limit contact, to begin to put them at arm's reach, or even to cut them all off this very minute and never speak to them ever again. Whatever you need to do to prioritise your mental health, and your new family, is the right thing to do, and you are no villain for it.
She is good about folding laundry (I help), she goes maybe 25% of the grocery shopping, I do all the yard chores, and 80% of the cleaning. (dusting, vacuuming, cleaning cars, bathrooms, etc.) Meal prepping is a lot of work. Esp for a family of 5 for entire week. Sometimes I will cook big meals on the weekend but it will only carry us until mid week. I have two teenagers, they eat A LOT.
Break up with her, you are wasting her time and deserves so much better than a guy who doesn't appreciate her.