To answer the question, zero is the right amount of yelling to do at your partner. Your boyfriend needs to learn how to communicate anger without yelling, and how to disagree without being angry. Both are learnable skills, but they take unlearning things that he may have been raised to believe, or that others in his life modeled for him. He also needs to learn to stop filtering his other emotions through anger. In your example, he saw you pushing yourself too nude while in ED recovery. The emotion he’s feeling there is fear and worry for your well-being, but it filters through anger, and then is expressed as anger. This is also something he can learn, but it will require unlearning things about what it means to feel a feeling and even what it means to be masculine. Men are raised to filter their feelings through anger – this is why expressions of something like Love can come out as “I will hurt anyone who hurts you” for many men. I’m not making excuses for his behavior, but I am telling you it’s fixable with work.
You are not required to join him on this journey. You’ve said you have your own mental health things to overcome. That might mean that he and you are incompatible, or it might be something you support each other through. That’s up to you.
I don't mean to be an ah, but Idaho is dangerous, abortion is illegal, and guns are more prominent in that state. However most people there will usually be more responsible with them.
/r/chronicallyonline
To answer the question, zero is the right amount of yelling to do at your partner. Your boyfriend needs to learn how to communicate anger without yelling, and how to disagree without being angry. Both are learnable skills, but they take unlearning things that he may have been raised to believe, or that others in his life modeled for him. He also needs to learn to stop filtering his other emotions through anger. In your example, he saw you pushing yourself too nude while in ED recovery. The emotion he’s feeling there is fear and worry for your well-being, but it filters through anger, and then is expressed as anger. This is also something he can learn, but it will require unlearning things about what it means to feel a feeling and even what it means to be masculine. Men are raised to filter their feelings through anger – this is why expressions of something like Love can come out as “I will hurt anyone who hurts you” for many men. I’m not making excuses for his behavior, but I am telling you it’s fixable with work.
You are not required to join him on this journey. You’ve said you have your own mental health things to overcome. That might mean that he and you are incompatible, or it might be something you support each other through. That’s up to you.
I don't mean to be an ah, but Idaho is dangerous, abortion is illegal, and guns are more prominent in that state. However most people there will usually be more responsible with them.