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1. There no such thing as him not “letting” you go. You broke up with him, then for some reason you went back to him.

   Just break up and block him. Tell family members to block him. Then go on with your life. Because otherwise for some reason you’re going to eventually let yourself get persuaded t have sex with him again.

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2. Why don't the parents just keep the dog? Your bf doesn't know or care about dog training so it'll be difficult to get him to see any reasoning until he's actually in some training classes himself. Why doesn't he trust your or his parents judgement on this? Training classes is equally about training the owner and the dog. I completely vote against keeping the dog at an apartment when there is a perfectly good option to stay at the parents. If your bf insists on keeping the dog then he needs to start training classes and you go with too. Make it a nude boundary for the relationship. He doesn't even understand dog breeds. I've seen aggressive/energetic dogs and they take special care to train and understand. I have a friend that lives in an apartment with two huskies, and spends at least a couple hours every day running them (she's a marathon runner). I have a friend (well educated on dogs) with a retired k9 that chews every single thing, and even she had to get expert help on exactly how to deal with him.

   A big problem here is your bf acting like he doesn't need to change, doesn't need to learn anything, doesn't need to adjust his life according to a high responsibility pet. Does he care about the dog being happy? If he doesn't want to participate in training the dog then why have it? I know people that just “own” pets and don't care about them. I know people that enjoy controlling and abusing animals. The responsible choices are to 1) accept that the dog would be better living somewhere else, or 2) start adjusting his life to spend time with the dog every day and start learning how to take care of it. If he can't admit that he has learning to do then there will be much bigger problems down the road for you in the relationship.

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3. I think you bring up a good point about recognizing the spectrum of the human experience.

   I think one thing that I assumed was that she should “just know” how to handle these things because I do.

   But it's not fair to expect everyone to be even in that sense. Lord knows I absolutely have had and still do have blind-spots in my own life and my own ways of handling things that has and will require grace in the pursuit of becoming better.

   So I appreciate your comment for putting a spotlight on that.

   And although I would still consider her actions here reflect poorly on her… I will concede that it doesn't and shouldn't doom her to be stuck in those ways. And I think that's where I've personally been off-target in this thread.

   Perhaps I should lend her the grace that I've lent myself throughout my own life.

   A quote comes to mind that has really helped me personally: “We do the best we can until we know better – then we do better.”

   Hopefully this can be a Learning experience rather than a death sentence for their relationship. And I may possibly be projecting my own insecurities onto this situation.

   Thanks for the opportunity to reflect and think.

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4. I’m guessing his distance has something to do with the third paragraph. They need couples therapy.

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5. Time to breakup. Sorry.

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