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Thomas, 18 y.o.
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Date: October 25, 2022
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Sometimes fixing a problem means looking at the bigger picture rather than the specific issue at hand, and the bigger picture here is that her boyfriend has been ignoring her needs (even after she’s tried to talk to him about it) while benefitting from her meeting his.
Maybe breaking up with the boyfriend isn’t the solution, but OP does need to see that at the root of this all this is this sexual imbalance which she’s tried to address and is being dismissed.
I would’ve bit his ween off right away
The sunk cost fallacy is strong here. This isn’t the life you want for the rest of your life. He’s proven to be incapable of change, and honestly, the change you’re asking for isn’t nearly enough to make it a healthy partnership. It’s not too late to walk away
I sae your last post said she developed symptoms two days after sex. STIs typically show symptoms a week after exposure soo….. yeah.
Definitely practice safe sex and get tested on the regular
Before COVID I'd agree with you, but after COVID a lot more accredited schools have been offering live or mostly on-line degrees.
For a bit of context I ( 23 F) and my boyfriend (35 M) have been in a relationship for about 2 years.
And it's not what you expect, is exactly the opposite.
That's exactly what I expected. He's too immature to date women his own age so he's going after someone 12 years younger than he. If he can't handle getting a gift explicitly laid out to him to buy then he just doesn't care. Do you know how many men I know that would be ecstatic if their partners just told them what they wanted?
You asked for roses and chocolates. He gave you tulips and McDonald's.
He's not going to get an IT job. He's not going to do anything inconvient for him. He's simply not putting in the effort.
I'm sorry OP, eventually you will meet someone deserving and realize this was worth it and you wont regret it.
Same. I have a little side effects but bc has helped me so much that it's still worth it. My periods used to be unbearable, heavy, painful and now I am so much happier. It sucks that people who do like their bc are kind of dismissed:/
oh boy he sounds like a major drag
You don’t have to definitely know. The disrespect is your answer, maybe not to whether he is cheating but for sure whether you should leave.
The fact that he was ok doing all of these things was an issue all on it’s own because he’s a grown man and is aware of his actions. Even if it was strictly platonic or a mentor/mentee situation, there should have been more communication. You might not have set the specific boundary but it’s common sense that if you will be spending a lot of time with someone or investing time and effort into someone (same sex or opposite sex) you should keep your partner in the loop. Not because it makes you look guilty but just to avoid misunderstandings and confusion in the relationship. Who wants to stay with someone who needs hundreds of boundaries set in place for them just to make sure they’re not out here making you look stupid. Why should you have to step outside your own principles and come off ass “controlling” or “insecure” because he abuses your trusting and secure nature.
The biggest disrespect is that when you confronted him and he saw how upsetting his actions were and how his actions have been embarrassing you whether he meant to do that or not, instead of apologizing and promising to cut back, clearing things up with the staff, and showing you whatever it is you needed to see to aid you guys in moving forward; he chose to make subpar excuses and make you the bad guy. Refusing to show text messages because “that means you don’t trust me” after you clearly explained exhibit A-D of very untrustworthy actions he’s openly and consciously done, means he A) definitely has something to hide, B) doesn’t respect your feelings enough to clear up any misunderstanding, C) has no sliver of accountability in his body, and D) has no intention on changing any actions because in his eyes you’re clearly just supposed to blindly trust him.
If you feel like he’s doing something, trust your gut, your eyes, and his actions. You know that man better than anyone else. You know how he treats platonic friends, coworkers, family, and you. You don’t need his verbal confirmation or to go through his phone.
If you’re prepared to leave him if it turns out he is you might as well just leave now
You should be. You sure as shit should be. He needs to take a hot look at himself because no drug in the world should be more important than his family.