This is honestly what it seems like. He was used to and comfortable with OP the way she was. She has made a lot of great changes and, unfortunately, instead of being happy for her/proud of her, etc. – he is clearly seeing these changes as a threat to him/their relationship. And he's clearly not handling it well. And as you say, he may not be doing/saying these things on purpose as some grand manipulation tactic – I don't think he is. I think he's super insecure with all the changes OP has made and he's handling it horribly. Not an excuse and doesn't make it ok. But it's the reason why I'd give him the opportunity to go to couple's counseling first.
If he doesn't want to or doubles down or anything like that – well, then – you can't work with that and it's time to consider ending the relationship. Which is sad, because he'll think it's all the reasons he feared, instead of understanding it was solely based on the way he handled himself.
Good luck sweetheart, he’s a predator. You’ll lick your wounds and recover. Tying yourself to this man is a really bad idea.
People keep growing after 22 though?
She's acting like a selfish young person, she's not some lost deranged monster.
That being said, if she has a safe place to be she just doesn't like it, it's time for tough love and to be clear about why she can't move back in
Everyone is saying… she's all good and golden.
No, you're wrong, it's not okay to cry emotionally when your partner leaves for the gym or the likings.
This is honestly what it seems like. He was used to and comfortable with OP the way she was. She has made a lot of great changes and, unfortunately, instead of being happy for her/proud of her, etc. – he is clearly seeing these changes as a threat to him/their relationship. And he's clearly not handling it well. And as you say, he may not be doing/saying these things on purpose as some grand manipulation tactic – I don't think he is. I think he's super insecure with all the changes OP has made and he's handling it horribly. Not an excuse and doesn't make it ok. But it's the reason why I'd give him the opportunity to go to couple's counseling first.
If he doesn't want to or doubles down or anything like that – well, then – you can't work with that and it's time to consider ending the relationship. Which is sad, because he'll think it's all the reasons he feared, instead of understanding it was solely based on the way he handled himself.