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New here! Let’s have a great start together! my vibetoy is on for more pleasure!
Date: November 4, 2022
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This is what happened to all of us. It is called love bombing. They trap us in with a long con. Sometimes for years they are the perfect spouse. Then it starts slowly. Saying they don't want us to work, stay home with the kids. They claim our family is trying to cause problems and don't want us talking to them. Our friends are jealous, can't hang out with them anymore, either, until we are totally isolated and rely on them. Then one day they snap.
Are you giving him a lot of time and attention outside of that quiet time? Do you think being more engaged outside of 'quiet time' would help? Have you asked him if anything else would help? Otherwise it sounds like a very difficult compatibility issue.
Bro, I snipped after 2. What the fuck kind of religion do you have to feel guilt after 6 kids. If you aren’t a trust fund family, I wish you were. All of those kids need a college education, likely therapy for family issues, and a whole hell of a lot of love that you won’t be able to produce because there’s too many kids to be so active with hobbies, languages, and exploring the world. How much is a vacation for 8?
In my langage, I would say your husband uses the 'connected vessels' technique to feel better and improve his self-esteem: he puts you down to make him look good. However, there are two main issues to use this technique: 1) in a general way, it is mean to put other people down even if they are not here to see it 2) it is specifically dumb to do it with your spouse in front of other people because if such people think badly about your spouse, they will think badly about you. Here, the crew thinks surely you are controlling but also that your husband is a looser… From what you said, I am not sure you're controlling however your husband is stupid and mean to you for sure.
I don't think counselling can help you if your husband is not the one who asks for it. I don't think he is mad for making you look bad, he is just sorry you caught him… Perhaps, try to explain him that he just made the crew saw him as a victim and/or a loser now. Perhaps he will get it?
Yeah, OK. I just read your comment history. Based on the kinds of subs you post in, I’m wondering if you’re being objective about this.
Dude, you’re 23. Just get a new boyfriend, it’ll be way easier than couples counseling. Your current boyfriend sucks and isn’t going to get better, I promise you that. Maybe you breaking up with him might be the push he needs to grow up, but it ain’t gonna happen with you. Listen to your therapist: cut your losses and move on.
Fair enough as long as you go looking without the bullish mindset of what you want go for it and good luck ?. By the way can I ask if it’s ok with you which country is she in? You don’t have to answer if you don’t want to.