Your age gap is the least of your concern. Girl who on earth knows somebody for such little time, escapes rehab with, and moves in with said person right away? YOU DON’T KNOW HIM. I don’t care how many of your dark secrets and experiences you’ve shared. A doomed relationship from the start. You are not setting yourself up for success, and quite frankly you’re setting yourself up for relapse again. I know you say things are good right now, but I’m doubtful you’ll escape this relationship better than you entered it. Good luck.
You heard the complaint, but you utterly failed to grasp the motivation — or the emotional content — behind the complaint.
He’s feeling undesired. And he’s feeling like you take his presence in your life for granted.
And your response was essentially, “fine, okay, you can have what you said you want, as long as you do all the work to get it.” In other words, “Meh, whatever. I’ll go along with it if you push the issue, but it’s not like I think of you that way AT ALL.”
How much do you suppose that response goes toward solving the real, underlying problem, namely, feeling undesired by you?
I’ll be honest. I stopped reading after money. Only skimmed through the rest.
She has a job, she’s not a SAHM. While I’ll never argue that a joint account is best/only option, why tf doesn’t she contribute to your joint expenses?!
Depression is a bitch but your wife’s only coping mechanism is to resist therapy and get a stress free ride in life on your dime. Literally. You think divorce isn’t an option? So what advice are you hoping for?
She refuses to get help, she’s not contributing to your shared life and she’s literally daring you to get a divorce. I think it’s time to get it.
This is excellent advice. I went abroad for my degree, and decided to stay there because I liked it. My Mum was disappointed, but she still listened to me talk about what made me happy, and tried to engage on that level. She visited me a few times, enjoyed herself, and we are hoping to plan another visit soon. We call each other several times a week and check in via text more frequently. That's not uncommon from what I've heard.
Op, stop trying to make them move back, and try to really LISTEN to what your son is saying. What do they like about where they are? What is he enthusiastic about? What hopes or dreams does he have? Sure, its sad and you miss him, that's totally okay. But maybe you can manage to find some joy in seeing HIS joy.
This brings up the idea if intentions are the ultimate decider of if a thing is good or not. No matter the intent, he'd still be illegally tracking her, which is enough. If I ever found out my SO tracked me to make sure I am trustworthy, it would prove that HE is the untrustworthy one and I'd RUN. Anyone agree?
Break up, simple as that
Your age gap is the least of your concern. Girl who on earth knows somebody for such little time, escapes rehab with, and moves in with said person right away? YOU DON’T KNOW HIM. I don’t care how many of your dark secrets and experiences you’ve shared. A doomed relationship from the start. You are not setting yourself up for success, and quite frankly you’re setting yourself up for relapse again. I know you say things are good right now, but I’m doubtful you’ll escape this relationship better than you entered it. Good luck.
Straight tell em bro! Should give everything to a lady that deserves that kind of relationship not her…
I'm referring to their dynamic.
You understand that or are you like OPs roomate and just do whatever you want to anyone all of the time no matter the consequence?
Suddenly, “my body my choice” disappears when it comes to respecting men
You heard the complaint, but you utterly failed to grasp the motivation — or the emotional content — behind the complaint.
He’s feeling undesired. And he’s feeling like you take his presence in your life for granted.
And your response was essentially, “fine, okay, you can have what you said you want, as long as you do all the work to get it.” In other words, “Meh, whatever. I’ll go along with it if you push the issue, but it’s not like I think of you that way AT ALL.”
How much do you suppose that response goes toward solving the real, underlying problem, namely, feeling undesired by you?
I’ll be honest. I stopped reading after money. Only skimmed through the rest.
She has a job, she’s not a SAHM. While I’ll never argue that a joint account is best/only option, why tf doesn’t she contribute to your joint expenses?!
Depression is a bitch but your wife’s only coping mechanism is to resist therapy and get a stress free ride in life on your dime. Literally. You think divorce isn’t an option? So what advice are you hoping for?
She refuses to get help, she’s not contributing to your shared life and she’s literally daring you to get a divorce. I think it’s time to get it.
Okay
This is excellent advice. I went abroad for my degree, and decided to stay there because I liked it. My Mum was disappointed, but she still listened to me talk about what made me happy, and tried to engage on that level. She visited me a few times, enjoyed herself, and we are hoping to plan another visit soon. We call each other several times a week and check in via text more frequently. That's not uncommon from what I've heard.
Op, stop trying to make them move back, and try to really LISTEN to what your son is saying. What do they like about where they are? What is he enthusiastic about? What hopes or dreams does he have? Sure, its sad and you miss him, that's totally okay. But maybe you can manage to find some joy in seeing HIS joy.
This brings up the idea if intentions are the ultimate decider of if a thing is good or not. No matter the intent, he'd still be illegally tracking her, which is enough. If I ever found out my SO tracked me to make sure I am trustworthy, it would prove that HE is the untrustworthy one and I'd RUN. Anyone agree?