I think that you need to validate his feeling. And not put his “feelings” in quotation marks. It’s totally invalidating. He’s allowed to feel however he feels. He owns his feeling. As do you with yours. He’s doing the right thing by communicating with you how he feels instead of letting resentment build. You just moved in together. That’s a major life change. He’s just adjusting. A month ago he didn’t have a dog. He didn’t have those responsibilities. He’s adjusting to them and that’s okay. You can validate his feeling while disagreeing with him. I would say “I’m sorry you’re feeling this way. You’re completely within your right to have these feelings, now what kind of compromise can we come to that makes us both feel better?”. You said that one of times he talked to you about it you were doing one of your hobbies. Does he have hobbies? Does he have time to do them? Do you have differing work schedules? He might feel like you have all this free time to do hobbies and he doesn’t. Equality does not equal equity. The most important take away here is please validate his feeling. You’d want him to do the same. If you react negatively to him expressing his feelings and then you try to bring up how you feel about the situation then he’s going to be frustrated that you didn’t validate him but he’s expected to validate you.
Still, she stay even she knows how trashy the attitude is. Treating him like she doesn't exist and he doesn't need her anymore. She should realize that, right now.
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Depends on the working relationship I guess. I respect that they aren't going to stay forever , and I'll keep them if they don't leave. I don't like to make emotional business decisions , people come and go.
I can imagine many other employers would be tempted to take the “fuck you then” route.
Well first I’d ask her kindly if it’s an internal thing for her right now or if you did anything to make her uncomfortable. However her boundaries are her boundaries and you do not get to choose when she’s ready. It doesn’t matter how many times she’s consented in the past if she’s saying no now, then it means no for now. Do not push it.
That's not true in every country. Common law is still a thing in a lot of countries. In Canada if you've been in a relationship and living together for more than 2 years you're still able to apply to court to divide property under family law property division legislation.
Gf here: we both are Indians living abroad. The trajectory of Indian relationships are little bit different than the usual. I know I have to come a long way to grow a spine and courage to do whatever the fuck I want to and I am working on it!
I do love this dude a lot and I am willing to work this issue out.
You’re the 24 year old virgin who thinks he can do better than a 23 year old with a past.
Enjoy your morals and fedoras.
I think that you need to validate his feeling. And not put his “feelings” in quotation marks. It’s totally invalidating. He’s allowed to feel however he feels. He owns his feeling. As do you with yours. He’s doing the right thing by communicating with you how he feels instead of letting resentment build. You just moved in together. That’s a major life change. He’s just adjusting. A month ago he didn’t have a dog. He didn’t have those responsibilities. He’s adjusting to them and that’s okay. You can validate his feeling while disagreeing with him. I would say “I’m sorry you’re feeling this way. You’re completely within your right to have these feelings, now what kind of compromise can we come to that makes us both feel better?”. You said that one of times he talked to you about it you were doing one of your hobbies. Does he have hobbies? Does he have time to do them? Do you have differing work schedules? He might feel like you have all this free time to do hobbies and he doesn’t. Equality does not equal equity. The most important take away here is please validate his feeling. You’d want him to do the same. If you react negatively to him expressing his feelings and then you try to bring up how you feel about the situation then he’s going to be frustrated that you didn’t validate him but he’s expected to validate you.
Still, she stay even she knows how trashy the attitude is. Treating him like she doesn't exist and he doesn't need her anymore. She should realize that, right now.
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Thats what I was thinking. Right on the lips too :/
Depends on the working relationship I guess. I respect that they aren't going to stay forever , and I'll keep them if they don't leave. I don't like to make emotional business decisions , people come and go.
I can imagine many other employers would be tempted to take the “fuck you then” route.
Well first I’d ask her kindly if it’s an internal thing for her right now or if you did anything to make her uncomfortable. However her boundaries are her boundaries and you do not get to choose when she’s ready. It doesn’t matter how many times she’s consented in the past if she’s saying no now, then it means no for now. Do not push it.
Of course she's pregnant
That's not true in every country. Common law is still a thing in a lot of countries. In Canada if you've been in a relationship and living together for more than 2 years you're still able to apply to court to divide property under family law property division legislation.
Gf here: we both are Indians living abroad. The trajectory of Indian relationships are little bit different than the usual. I know I have to come a long way to grow a spine and courage to do whatever the fuck I want to and I am working on it!
I do love this dude a lot and I am willing to work this issue out.