Traditionally the compromise here is if you're going to smoke, do it outside and not in shared spaces. That's mainly applicable if you're living together though. But this is going to be an issue going forward in this relationship so it's best to set clear boundaries now so it's now causing conflict in the future.
It's his space as you said, and he gets to decide what he does in it, but you can make your needs known as well. You not wanting to be in a smoke filled room is perfectly valid. If he doesn't want to give up smoking in his place, then obviously he doesn't want you to come over that bad.
Oh honey you are being gaslit into oblivion. Don't let him guilt you and don't guilt yourself. You know you loved him and you know you are not a terrible person. A terrible person wouldn't be so easily guilted. You have stayed and you have tried to work on it. You've repetitively addressed something that upsets you only to be lied to. You've tried. He hasn't. He hasn't tried even enough to change a profile picture. He is a terrible person for threatening to leave you over such petty things.
You deserve better. Clearly you are a loving an empathetic person and he is using that to manipulate you. Don't let him tell you otherwise
Honey you go and dress masculine and grow out your body hair and live your life on your terms. And and if he's going to threaten to leave over it SHOW HIM THE DOOR.
I’m reading your responses and all I can say is, buy a place yourself. Who cares if it’s smaller? You want a place your own and he obviously isn’t ready to TRULY cohabitate. It also seems like he’s not in the same place with kids. If you are desperate to have a home and have kids, it doesn’t seem like he’s the right guy, and depending on how many kids you want, you have a shorter timeline than he does.
Have a genuine discussion with him where you lay out what you want and actually talk about a firm timeline. If he can’t commit to x, y, and z by a certain date, get out and find yourself someone who wants the same thing.
You’ve got to 100% certain. Does just talking constitute cheating? No. But, if my husband was even just talking to other women, I would want to know. Can you tell someone that’s closer to her? If not, send her a screenshot of the conversation with a text…’Thought you should know.’ Maybe let her know your lips are sealed.
3 years??? 3 years man???!!!! And you’re still with her? I’m sorry OP.
It's like he's trying to get engaged to lock in the relationship
Your significant other is allowed to have meaningful relationships with others without your involvement.
He’s right, it has nothing to do with you. You are coming off as controlling and unpleasant.
Traditionally the compromise here is if you're going to smoke, do it outside and not in shared spaces. That's mainly applicable if you're living together though. But this is going to be an issue going forward in this relationship so it's best to set clear boundaries now so it's now causing conflict in the future.
It's his space as you said, and he gets to decide what he does in it, but you can make your needs known as well. You not wanting to be in a smoke filled room is perfectly valid. If he doesn't want to give up smoking in his place, then obviously he doesn't want you to come over that bad.
Oh honey you are being gaslit into oblivion. Don't let him guilt you and don't guilt yourself. You know you loved him and you know you are not a terrible person. A terrible person wouldn't be so easily guilted. You have stayed and you have tried to work on it. You've repetitively addressed something that upsets you only to be lied to. You've tried. He hasn't. He hasn't tried even enough to change a profile picture. He is a terrible person for threatening to leave you over such petty things.
You deserve better. Clearly you are a loving an empathetic person and he is using that to manipulate you. Don't let him tell you otherwise
Honey you go and dress masculine and grow out your body hair and live your life on your terms. And and if he's going to threaten to leave over it SHOW HIM THE DOOR.
He sounds selfish and immature.
How come he never did any dishes or threw the trash? Damn he sounds like a child.
Get a new bf
That's why his dad wants him to marry a rich girl because he knows his son can't take care of himself lol
I’m reading your responses and all I can say is, buy a place yourself. Who cares if it’s smaller? You want a place your own and he obviously isn’t ready to TRULY cohabitate. It also seems like he’s not in the same place with kids. If you are desperate to have a home and have kids, it doesn’t seem like he’s the right guy, and depending on how many kids you want, you have a shorter timeline than he does.
Have a genuine discussion with him where you lay out what you want and actually talk about a firm timeline. If he can’t commit to x, y, and z by a certain date, get out and find yourself someone who wants the same thing.
You’ve got to 100% certain. Does just talking constitute cheating? No. But, if my husband was even just talking to other women, I would want to know. Can you tell someone that’s closer to her? If not, send her a screenshot of the conversation with a text…’Thought you should know.’ Maybe let her know your lips are sealed.