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RIDE DILDO [85 tokens remaining]
Date: October 24, 2022
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Hello /u/joecool105,
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I imagine faithful men in relationships won't show much interest in you, because they are buys being invested in their partners. In fact if they found time to get to know you it might damage their relationship depending how secure their partners feel.
SIngle men meanwhile might misinterpret your signals, that or they realise you aren't interested in having relationship with them, while that is what are looking for so they move on before they get “interested” in you. Time is very limited resource for adults so they rarely will invest it you for non-romantic reasons. They probably have enough difficulty managing time to maintain their established frienships
In general though, what do you want men to show interest in you for? I (for example) guess I can enjoy talking to my female colleagues about different things from things socio-economic all the way to books. What are your interest that you can realistacally bond with your coworkers over? Drinking together and going to bars/clubs doesn't count.
She called out her friend's hypocrisy. Hardly an “attack”
My apologies you are absolutely correct.
But we genuinely love each other, and she has treated me for the first time as a human person with feelings.
She literally started a fight and triggered your PTSD because you didn't know her mother's phone number. Does that sound like someone who genuinely loves you?
Her family doesn't like you anymore. What does the future look like in a relationship where her family doesn't like you?
Only really the weekends but I end up sleeping really late on weekends since I wake up with our daughter really early but it’s the only time we get to spend together and actually laugh and have fun but it almost immediately goes away for the rest of the week it’s just starting to feel like I’m not important to him anymore ya know I feel like I’m on the back burner
You two are really young. The odds are so stacked against you that I can't see this working, given he's already almost divorced you.
I would recommend marriage therapy, which you're already trying to get into. If it's a long wait, find someone healthy you can turn to. A religious leader, your wedding officiant, an older married couple who you're both comfortable with, your parents, whomever. Find someone to help you talk through these issues asap.
Secondly, prepare for your marriage to fail. Because the odds aren't good. That means wait to have children until your marriage has been stable for at least a year. Graduate your degree program. Pour yourself into your career so you can support yourself. Do not make any big sacrifices for this marriage – don't move for his career, don't get your tubes tied if he doesn't want kids, no big sacrifices. You'll still make daily sacrifices – that's marriage – but don't sacrifice anything that's difficult to come back from.
It's not worth trying to dig deeper. It just gets you burned. He's given you every reason to wash your hands of this relationship. The impulsivity, thrill-seeking, living lavishly is all for himself. It's all quite self centered, and he's shown you that he has no interest in curbing any of those behaviors regardless of how you feel about them or how they may harm you now or in the future. Then you have the lying and deceit. It all comes down to a fundamental lack of respect. None of this will change. If you stay, and especially if you tie yourself to this person, they will drag you down with them. It's a long climb back out, speaking from experience. Get out now. If you want a family and children,this guy ain't the one to have that with. Leave now instead of wasting time. Look into the sunk cost fallacy if you're hesitating.
I think what you’ve said is valid. Some things get unnecessarily gendered and it leaves many in the lgbtq community without representation and ignored. Many of the stories of harassment and abuse could happen to any gender or community. Looking at genitalia in order to make decisions seems counter. I’m open to a counter view if someone wants to chime in.