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sgemma chat
Date: November 4, 2022
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sgemma chat
I have a feeling you saying “don’t bother” came off as really negative to him and he probably just thought “fine i won’t bother”. If you want better gifts, tell him that and come up with a way to ensure that. give him a list well before Christmas. Not two days before. Tell him it hurts you when you don’t get a thoughtful present. He probably just doesnt know what to get you and the pressure about getting you a present just grows every time. force him to be included in the gift shopping for the kids. Just tell him “we’re going to the store on Saturday for gift shopping, make sure you’re free”. I have a feeling you keep expecting him to initiate it on his own, and when he doesn’t, you just go off and do it and then resent him for it. Meanwhile he has no idea all this even happened in your head. Some ppl just don’t think about gifts and stuff like this. It doesn’t come naturally. It has to be learned. Just talk to your husband…..
Well, who did then?
What did he say though? Does he have remorse? Will he look for another job? Reconciliation is on him. You need to start by contacting an attorney. Know all your rights first. And then take it from there. Good luck. And I would also complain to HR. What they did was disgusting. Not only is he cheating, he made you look like a fool there. Pathetic AH.
Sorry about the consequences. Maybe you should try going to a therapist.
Man reddit hates age gaps lol. My partner is 13 years younger and we do pretty well.
You’re right, it probably won’t end well and isn’t worth the trouble. I guess I’m just tired of being so reserved and wanted some advice on whether this is one of my “reserved” moments. Thanks
I know you said she’s in therapy and on medication, but has she ever been evaluated for and/or diagnosed with OCD? ADHD? Asking because her anxieties and behaviors don’t seem to “add up” from the outside but are sending up flags for me.
I always performed well in school, even though underneath I felt like I was constantly running. Maintained my grades, job, general life until I started to crash at some point. I was already in therapy for a year before things really got bad, but it didn’t help. We never “figured it out.” Saw someone else and was eventually diagnosed with OCD and tried medication. Some things better, some things not. Uh-oh looks like ADHD was actually causing a lot of my symptoms! You can have both ADHD and OCD, but perfectionism can actually stem from ADHD. ADHD with perfectionism is linked to anxiety and low self-esteem.
Anyway, the 1) overthinking, thoughts running and running and 2) the so-called performance anxiety stood out to me. For a long time, many of my symptoms and struggles surrounded schoolwork. I believed it was about pressure/stress/performance, and it was, but it was a school problem to me and didn’t become a life problem til later.
The point of me saying all of this is just in case it resonates with you or your wife. If it does, I really hope it’s helpful! Otherwise, thank you kindly for reading and sorry I wasn’t helpful!
“You have been saying stuff like that in relation to the portions of food I eat. I find it very triggering and upsetting and need you to stop it immediately and permanently.”
That was the kicker for me. Having a child with someone you’ve only known for 6 months objectively doesn’t seem like a good idea. Full stop.
Unfortunately your feelings are very common among victims of domestic abuse. Calling the police was the right call. Write down everything he did to you, and read it back to yourself every time you find yourself missing him or feeling guilty.
Return them. Get her 2 tickets to a movie.
Thank you
fuck. you're right. I do have to rip the band-aid off. but now the timing is weird.
her birthday is tomorrow, so I don't want to ask now..I still want to call her and wish her a happy birthday…and then maybe invite her out for coffee? or ask on text a few days later?
When we were talking a few months back she had asked me what my feelings are towards dating (in general) and I felt uncomfortable. So I said we can talk about that in person.
If you intend on paying for the child but not having a relationship with the mother unless she wants it then just stay away. Be sure your not doing this for you and not for the potential child if you’re not sticking around . Why do you want to do this?