I think you should tell her not only that you spent that night together, but how he tried to make you the guilty person for “ruining his new relationship”. That's awful, he's not your friend. He just used you for sex and them tried to make you the villain in his new relationship. Extremely manipulative, he clearly knows how you feel about him and doesn't have a problem taking advantage of it. You should tell everyone and cut contact with him.
So you have sat there and sucked it up just cause it was easier to keep her? Why would you want to break up ? Maybe it's a rough patch. Why would parents be on her side?
I think just talk to her. Not about the message. But take her out to a nice lunch or something and tell her you’d love to talk about the status of your relationship. How you’re each feeling, whether it’s a ‘rut’ or whatnot and that you’d like to work together to find a solution to help reignite the spark or at least spend some more quality time together. See how she responds.
I think you're getting too into your own head about how she might react to you bringing it up. It's perfectly reasonable for you to ask her to wash her hands more, just be compassionate and kind when you bring it up to her.
Cheating instead of working on the relationship is a short-sighted solution. As a result of that mistake, you feel even worse than before. It would have been better to get into marital therapy and try to better your marriage.
It's not too late to try couples counseling. It would probably be a good idea, to clear the air about your issues (affair, no sex) as well as give you new skills for communicating and navigating conflicts successfully.
That is an amazing reply, thank you so much. This is exactly how I feel about all this. I would give you an award if I could.
I think you should tell her not only that you spent that night together, but how he tried to make you the guilty person for “ruining his new relationship”. That's awful, he's not your friend. He just used you for sex and them tried to make you the villain in his new relationship. Extremely manipulative, he clearly knows how you feel about him and doesn't have a problem taking advantage of it. You should tell everyone and cut contact with him.
So you have sat there and sucked it up just cause it was easier to keep her? Why would you want to break up ? Maybe it's a rough patch. Why would parents be on her side?
Damn, trolls are so lazy nowadays.
I think just talk to her. Not about the message. But take her out to a nice lunch or something and tell her you’d love to talk about the status of your relationship. How you’re each feeling, whether it’s a ‘rut’ or whatnot and that you’d like to work together to find a solution to help reignite the spark or at least spend some more quality time together. See how she responds.
You need to listen to the song 5 Years by Bo Burnam…..
Good job OP on having a spine and not letting that kind of BS going unchecked
Oh, that's because most people just call it being unemployed!
Um, break up? WTF else are you supposed to do man.
I think you're getting too into your own head about how she might react to you bringing it up. It's perfectly reasonable for you to ask her to wash her hands more, just be compassionate and kind when you bring it up to her.
Cheating instead of working on the relationship is a short-sighted solution. As a result of that mistake, you feel even worse than before. It would have been better to get into marital therapy and try to better your marriage.
It's not too late to try couples counseling. It would probably be a good idea, to clear the air about your issues (affair, no sex) as well as give you new skills for communicating and navigating conflicts successfully.