We don't share finances, not really, though it's generally understood that we can borrow money from each other back and forth and it stays pretty even. I guess it wouldn't bother me if it wasn't my friend who gave it to her, and the fact that he is male is a big part of it. I resent how much money he makes specifically. Probably because we grew up together, online together, and are the same age.
I've thought of that a lot, I've been trying to keep up with her but its not easy. The fact that she is older than me is also making me think that she may not be able to change in the future (which is not a bad thing, but would make us incompatible). For example, when we were all hanging out here at my place y had to leave 2 of our friends at the bus stop, so the other 3 of us got back home (me, my gf and the other girl) I knew nothing ablut how she felt at that moment, everything seemed normal. Then I went upstairs and she was putting all lf her stuff in a backpack and about to leave without even talking to me. At first I'd try to calm her down and make her explain to me what was wrong, but she'd say nothing at all. Then, after half a minute of silence I said “do you need me to drive you to your place?” and she got even worse, saying that I just wanted her to leave so I could be left alone with our friend. We spent 20 minutes talking while she (our friend) was sitting downstairs alone, then we had to bring everyone back home because of transport issues and she was actively trying to keep us away from each other, that was the part that bothered me the most, since I seemed powerless about where I could be and who I could be next to at every time.
Forgot to mention this, but our friend was going to stay over a little longer so we coul finish the final mock we were solving before the other ones had to leave.
Wow, she’s sympathetic. I don’t imagine her playing nurse maid for you anytime soon. Honestly mate if it’s the same thing I had, it’s brutal. Sore throat, blocked up, really chesty cough etc. took me 2 weeks to feel better. I take my hat off to you for even managing to do things because I was pretty much floored with it. Tell her she can go on holiday herself next time.
I’m sorry but I wouldn’t marry a man who is not enthusiastic about marrying you. Like this would be a dealbreaker for me right there. He doesn’t sound like he even wants to marry you and only agreeing because you pressed on the matter.
And don’t get me wrong marrying doesn’t equal love but considering this is something you’ve always wanted and he does not then you two are on different levels in your life goals. It doesn’t really matter what your family thinks or says, it’s about you being with a man who just doesn’t care enough about being married to you and doesn’t want to pitch in because of that. This is like only one person getting married for themselves while the other is tagging along because they have to. And unless he makes no money at all and is struggling it is very much unfair to expect you alone to cover the costs of it.
Please reconsider. This whole thing sounds like a bad idea. You deserve a man who would actually want to be a part of your wedding.
But meeting is prob enough for op and her to assess this guy's deal. If she's truly clueless currently then maybe seeing him in real life and his mannerisms might help her see he's a creep (if he is one but honestly I'd fly out to meet and hang out with my favorite streamer too if I could) and op can get a feel for this guy's intentions too
Today though I asked him if he ever wishes mine were bigger. And he says “yea sure” totally serious like it was nothing at all. And I asked “are you serious?” And he said “I mean yours are fine”. Overall it left me feeling incredibly hurt. Afterwards he realized he fucked up and tried apologizing and said he forgot how my previous relationship ended. I truly believe he was just stupid but it doesn’t change the fact that I’m hurt.
Stop making this his fuckup. You are aware that you shouldn't ask this kind of question, but you did, and now you are indignant that he answered honestly instead of diplomatically.
You should get some therapy around this issue, instead of expecting your bf to read your mind and make you feel better.
I undersatnd. It just, to me, doesn't sit well with me that he doesn't find you attractive. What happens if you get injured and can't be active, really? What happens if your thyroid becomes affected?
In a long-term relationship, attraction has to be beyond your body. If the confines of attraction are for your body to need to remain looking a certain way, that is so rigid, uncompromising, and unrealistic.
I hope you know that you don't have to look a certain way to be attractive. You are attractive in all your forms. You are beautiful, and you are worthy. You're just working towards having better health for yourself.
I’m already ok with it if she doesn’t want to
She already told you she doesn't want to. Don't be an asshole; leave her alone.
?
We don't share finances, not really, though it's generally understood that we can borrow money from each other back and forth and it stays pretty even. I guess it wouldn't bother me if it wasn't my friend who gave it to her, and the fact that he is male is a big part of it. I resent how much money he makes specifically. Probably because we grew up together, online together, and are the same age.
I've thought of that a lot, I've been trying to keep up with her but its not easy. The fact that she is older than me is also making me think that she may not be able to change in the future (which is not a bad thing, but would make us incompatible). For example, when we were all hanging out here at my place y had to leave 2 of our friends at the bus stop, so the other 3 of us got back home (me, my gf and the other girl) I knew nothing ablut how she felt at that moment, everything seemed normal. Then I went upstairs and she was putting all lf her stuff in a backpack and about to leave without even talking to me. At first I'd try to calm her down and make her explain to me what was wrong, but she'd say nothing at all. Then, after half a minute of silence I said “do you need me to drive you to your place?” and she got even worse, saying that I just wanted her to leave so I could be left alone with our friend. We spent 20 minutes talking while she (our friend) was sitting downstairs alone, then we had to bring everyone back home because of transport issues and she was actively trying to keep us away from each other, that was the part that bothered me the most, since I seemed powerless about where I could be and who I could be next to at every time.
Forgot to mention this, but our friend was going to stay over a little longer so we coul finish the final mock we were solving before the other ones had to leave.
Both of you are shitty people and should fuck off from each others lives lol.
That's certainly true if you truly don't feel like having sex, but if you're just punishing him for masturbating, then that's mean.
Wow, she’s sympathetic. I don’t imagine her playing nurse maid for you anytime soon. Honestly mate if it’s the same thing I had, it’s brutal. Sore throat, blocked up, really chesty cough etc. took me 2 weeks to feel better. I take my hat off to you for even managing to do things because I was pretty much floored with it. Tell her she can go on holiday herself next time.
I’m sorry but I wouldn’t marry a man who is not enthusiastic about marrying you. Like this would be a dealbreaker for me right there. He doesn’t sound like he even wants to marry you and only agreeing because you pressed on the matter.
And don’t get me wrong marrying doesn’t equal love but considering this is something you’ve always wanted and he does not then you two are on different levels in your life goals. It doesn’t really matter what your family thinks or says, it’s about you being with a man who just doesn’t care enough about being married to you and doesn’t want to pitch in because of that. This is like only one person getting married for themselves while the other is tagging along because they have to. And unless he makes no money at all and is struggling it is very much unfair to expect you alone to cover the costs of it.
Please reconsider. This whole thing sounds like a bad idea. You deserve a man who would actually want to be a part of your wedding.
But meeting is prob enough for op and her to assess this guy's deal. If she's truly clueless currently then maybe seeing him in real life and his mannerisms might help her see he's a creep (if he is one but honestly I'd fly out to meet and hang out with my favorite streamer too if I could) and op can get a feel for this guy's intentions too
There are plenty of men's boots that have heels. Cowboy boots, “shit kickers,” horse riding, heels started as men's fashion to begin with.
Today though I asked him if he ever wishes mine were bigger. And he says “yea sure” totally serious like it was nothing at all. And I asked “are you serious?” And he said “I mean yours are fine”. Overall it left me feeling incredibly hurt. Afterwards he realized he fucked up and tried apologizing and said he forgot how my previous relationship ended. I truly believe he was just stupid but it doesn’t change the fact that I’m hurt.
Stop making this his fuckup. You are aware that you shouldn't ask this kind of question, but you did, and now you are indignant that he answered honestly instead of diplomatically.
You should get some therapy around this issue, instead of expecting your bf to read your mind and make you feel better.
As others have said. Trust your gut. It's never steered me wrong. Hope everything works out for you.
At your daughter's expense.
And how long did the relationship itself last?
I undersatnd. It just, to me, doesn't sit well with me that he doesn't find you attractive. What happens if you get injured and can't be active, really? What happens if your thyroid becomes affected?
In a long-term relationship, attraction has to be beyond your body. If the confines of attraction are for your body to need to remain looking a certain way, that is so rigid, uncompromising, and unrealistic.
I hope you know that you don't have to look a certain way to be attractive. You are attractive in all your forms. You are beautiful, and you are worthy. You're just working towards having better health for yourself.
Ask him. Nonjudgementally.