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Vova, 18 y.o.
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Date: October 10, 2022
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while its obviously your choice whether or not to disclose that information, and making the decision to not do so in order to stay safe may be necessary, i understand how referring to your wife as a platonic friend may feel invalidating or insulting to her. perhaps there is a workaround, for example only referring to her by name if you arent comfortable disclosing your relationship status rather than giving people an inaccurate picture of your relationship. in the case of insurance i don't know how this would work exactly, but maybe something like “id like to schedule an appointment for me [name] and [wifes name] who should also be on my insurance.” or something similar. that way you arent lying but are also not giving away personal details you arent comfortable sharing. or, if this isnt possible, is it possible your wife would be able to make appointments over the phone? maybe even just for new places, for example if you get a new dentist she would make the appointment and then in later appointments the dentist would already know your relationship status and you could make the call
She has waited over a decade. The time for patience is over. I see you are defending him because you want your own deficiencies to be overlooked, but claiming you can't “see” messes is selfish and spoiled. You have two eyes. You know what a cleaned up house looks like. You don't see it because you don't want to see it.
I don't know how she's you're finances but she doesn't see this relationship being long-term.
I personally believe her not wanting to cosign is a sign that she doesn't want a relationship with you.
Or she thinks you're bad with money. Also, you said you totaled a new car. Don't know how long you had it, but I wouldn't cosign for someone who just totaled a new car.
Most of this didn’t come out until the last month (we dated for 7) and he was by far the most romantic guy I’d ever met. Lots of flowers, love letters, gifts, elaborate dates, talks of marriage, being super thoughtful and sweet, etc. I cannot express to you how much this all took me by surprise, and how stupid I felt when I look back on signs.
It’s been heavily on my mind that when we leave our current situation (we are renting) I’ll break it off which is next month. Should I warn her parents cause she will be a mess
Yeah no… honestly that's not great. That's sometimes worse. Because I'm sure u heard alot of tht as a kid.
I can't tell you what to do. But if you've spoken to her about that already and she's still getting verbally abusive with u and angry and now is leaning towards throwing shit at u. It's not a great sign. Yeah it was a towel bt what is she had a cup in her hand or a glass. Would it have been okay? No.. so why is throwing anything at anyone okay?
I teach 9year olds that it's okay to get angry but you are under no circumstances allowed or entitled to take your anger out of anyone else. You take a walk, go count to 10 and breathe. And they can understand this. Personal bubble space! Keeping hands to oneself!
So adults saying they can't control their anger or how they react to situations is bullshit!