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Date: December 23, 2022
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As in stop having sex with her immediately. If you are in the US, alimony isn’t even a thing for the first three years of marriage. Consult a lawyer ASAP and get a legal separation in place before you talk to your current wife.
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Just drinking to the point you can’t remember is a sign you have an unhealthy relationship with alcohol, add to that you get verbally abusive? My guy, some people just shouldn’t drink, and sadly it looks like that unfortunately applies to you.
As I read him slowly ramp up and up throughout the comments I felt like saying something, but you’ve captured it in a very detailed way. So I’ll just “ditto” this comment instead. Even if she did confess to the coworker and he reciprocated the feelings, it is still only a crush and she then distanced herself as much as possible including letting her husband in on her doubts.
These are not the actions of someone “so in love” with their coworker only held back by “guilt and obligation”.
His separation suggestion isn’t the worst idea except for the fact that he says they can both go do what they like with whomever they want. That’s not the kind of separation either of them need to find peace and honesty and equilibrium to decide whether to move forward. It’s 100% the type of separation that will only turn a small, easily solvable problem into a nuclear fallout that is unrecoverable.
Honestly, I hope she takes the time away and realises how toxic he is. Whether he has always been like that (most likely) or this situation has really morphed him into the angriest green eyed monster; it’s best for her to vacate and find happiness elsewhere. This situation feels dangerous for her. If he takes her back he will hold this over her head in manipulation for the rest of their marriage.
It’s kinda normal to just make up an excuse if you don’t want to hang out with someone. Especially if that someone is clearly not getting the message. Doesn’t sound malicious at all.
Yes I am just paranoid. I think the way i seen my parents relationship I feel like if I was to control it I’d be able to avoid that. But I also should consider that it takes two in relationships and not all relationships are the same. I appreciate your guidance I apologized to him and told him that if he chooses to leave the relationship it’s okay I understand but he said he wants to stay together! I just need to work on myself properly, maybe therapy will help! Thank you again!