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fuck ass [251 tokens remaining]
Date: October 9, 2022
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I know it's not the most usual way to deal with tumultuous relationships but sometimes you need to fight fire with fire. It worked for me. Been together for 20 years when it happened once again, she threw a fit and told me to go f… myself. I used to let her loose her steam without saying anything but this time, I snapped. I just told her ” no honey, YOU go f…. yourself” in the most detached way and left the room. Her eyes grew big like saucers and I could see her instantly deflate. I never challenged her before because I loved her unconditionally and kind of treated her like a child. My fault. That same night, she semi apologized and I told her that she should keep in mind that I love her and am with her because I choose to, not because I need to. I could instantly feel the shift of “power”. I guess she knows now that I can leave at any time. I took back my agency and you should too.
Well I don't know if I would agree with you that I'm a hero but I like to think of myself as one.
Wait you didn't call me a hero? I'm sure you were about to.
You literally don't have anything better to do that to read through some randos comment history?
“Thanks for your thoughts, mom. We'll talk when we see you.” But also? The flow of care is supposed to go from parents to children. Yes, even grown kids should make the effort to see and talk to their parents, and to be present in their lives. The thing your mom is doing, though (and I am your mom's age) is making you and your sis, on some level, responsible for herfeelings. This is not appropriate on her part, and I hope you can see that. Your mom is still being emotionally abusive by having a snit that you declined help with your little one. I would suggest looking into the archives of Captain Awkward labeled “difficult family members” for scripts and ideas to deal with a parent like your mom?
Maybe both guys don't deserve your amazing humor and grace.
I would probably call my hair sunbleached. I would say I was tan. These words imply I didn’t apply a chemical to make these color changes happen but it happened naturally due to being in the sun. Just part of the range of colors my hair and skin can be. ??♀️
OP, she's abusing you, and most likely lying to you and this is her desperate attempt of making you stay.
Listen to us and just leave and never look back. You need to block her afterwards or she will keep trying to guilt/harass you and make you feel like you're useless.
so while we were arguing I confessed my lie.
You're being too hard on yourself. You didn't lie when you told him you didn't want kids and at the time it wasn't necessary to divulge the reason why.
Your bf changed the terms of the relationship when he changed his mind about children. Even if it was possible for you to have children, his changing his mind about children would be deal breaker as far as the relationship was concerned.
At this point you both have different objectives for the relationship and maybe breaking up would be the best course of action.
Oh that’s right!! I mean she is NAKED!
Sexuality is an important compatibility factor. Not everyone is attracted to every sexuality. OP believed she was marrying a monogamous heterosexual man. He is anything but. There's zero reason to “celebrate” his belated coming out after he's created a family with another person. It is what it is, OP has to accept the reality of it, but I'm not going to applaud a man for wanting to fuck men after marrying a woman.
You forgot to include the part where you have cheated on her with 7 women to make things “fair”and you feel no remorse and plan to continue cheating. STFU man, you posted this yesterday and got roasted and are now posting it without that tidbit of info. Guess what, you're still a disrespectful, insecure little worm.
Here's what you do. Start talking to other girls. Stop doing relationship activities. Quietly demote her to fwb. Only text her for sex. Cheat on her, openly. Ignore what she has to say about it. Continue cheating until she gets the hint she's no longer actually your girl.
I’d be kinda upset if my partner hadn’t mentioned someone new coming to my house after I left for work. It’s a weird omission from her husband.
This is wild if it’s a scam. Damn man.
You need therapy. If you’ve got long lasting trauma that prevents somebody from even touching you, that’s not something we can fix over a Reddit thread.
If you're in recovery, I'm hoping this means you're in therapy. If not, I would recommend getting a therapist so you can discuss the issue with them.
If she would truly hurt herself, you are not in a position to help. You are not a mental health professional.
Call the police, let her parents know, and continue to block her. It is most likely a manipulation on her part, but if it’s not, continuing a relationship will likely cause more harm than good. You are not responsible for what she does, and again, you are not qualified to help her.
I’m sorry you are going through it. It is stressful but none of it is your fault.
Actually if you think him jumping up when asked makes him a winner, you have completely failed to see op’s point. If she has to ask he is not helping shelter the burden of the mental load, he is just another child that has to be told what to do in order for it to get done.
While I agree that if she has known from the get who and how her husband is she can’t expect him to change. However, he also needs to take ownership of his household and understand the additional duties she now has.
Op I recommend talking to him again. This time divide the house chores up, make it a responsibility. Division of labor is tough to navigate, it implies you know both you and your partners strengths and weaknesses. Adhd individuals are often good at multitasking and are capable of completing task but don’t always think to do them. Sit him down and tell him exactly how you need his help and encourage him to find methods of completing such task in a way that is effective for him. Have him figure out a schedule and time that he can commit to and let those be his task! Don’t think about them, if they don’t get done that is on him and he can watch your house and marriage fall apart based on his lack of action.
Unfortunately sometimes you have to make someone with adhd sit down and listen but only they can apply the action. i’ve found that the most effective way of getting them to act is to allow their disfunction to cause disruption. They will either make the changed within themselves and improve or they won’t. You will then have to make a choice based on how they move.
How's yslyric a troll? They literally just seem like a normal Reddit user.
If anything, you seem to be overrracting
As has been stated numerous times before…DO NOT CONFRONT HIM. Take Monday off work, move out, set up a fresh bank account, and contact an attorney.
Never see him again.
Dude, go see a psychiatrist. Perceiving an animal as evil IS NOT NORMAL
Who gives a Fuck’ give me the number I’ll call her’
The groom didn't call you up screaming that Bob isn't coming. It does make me think that the groom might be more on your side than Bob and see Bob crossing boundaries.
I'm very surprised by the bride's reaction. You said you were closer to the bride than Bob, yet she still maintains a friendship with someone that hurt you, broke up your marriage, bullied you and has a questionable moral compass. Your message wasn't rude or nasty and I'm surprised the bride didn't support you putting in boundaries with your bully.
This is some serious red flags with your friendship with the bride and maybe you are more invested in her than she is with you and maybe her relationship is closer to Bob than you are aware.
Why the fuck are you even in contact with such family?
To be 100% honest, even if it was in the past, the past doesn't excuse you from future repercussions.
I don't think I could be in a relationship knowing the person participated in such an event. Much like you don't have to date an ex-KKK member, you sure don't need to make excuses like, “the past is the past” because that excuse is just a coping mechanism to hide pain and accountability.
Seems to me it goes way deeper than him being insecure, bitter and threatened by your success. Seems to me he's misogynistic. If you're earning money, are active and basically have a life outside of your home too you make him feel less than/threatened and his woman shouldn't be better than him/above him in any capacity that matters. On the other hand, if you were at home, taking care of kids, cooking and cleaning his view of you being less worthy would be reinforced which would make him despise you as a less worthy human being. Whatever you do, you cannot really win in this relationship.
he cant switch it off. if i could switch mine off i wouldve done it decades ago
Sounds like the end of it. What’s the plan otherwise?
Your son desperately needs a therapist, preferably a man. You need to be single for a while and a therapist yourself. It's not fair to your son to keep bringing men into his life that expose him to violence and set a terrible example of what a relationship looks like.
I’m not that much younger than you are. But at least you’ve got a lock on unearned condescension. You seem to be confusing being “grown up” with being an asshole.
Love makes you do stupid things, that’s all I can really tell you. It’s better to try and be objective about this stuff, however callous that feels.