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Thank you for your reply. I talked with my partner about how to split finances. We had a couples counseling as well. I put-forth the idea of equal % of the income that we both contribute towards the family expenses and then the rest we can send the way we want for each persons needs. She said she wanted time to think over it and we can regroup. That is fine by me but I told her that we need to decide this in Jan 1st week to come to a conclusion. She feels unsure to do this as we are not married, however we both have been together 3 years have a mortgage and house together recently so not sure what more assurance she is looking for? She has not really discussed her financial numbers with me so far as I have with her. I do want to give her time to think but I also feel a bit skeptical about the face that is she willing to compromise? She does not want to breakup but wants to stay together but is not eager to discuss the financial issue we have. Staying together like this is making me feel financial insecure with the upcoming recession next year
You voiced your opinion, and she made it clear she doesn't want to make changes.
What you can do is stick to your regular sleep patterns. If you normally go to bed at 10 or 11, continue to do so. Dont go along with her crazy sleep patterns. Simply state, “Im going to bed.” If she asks you to stay up with her, reply, “I can't do that. I need my sleep to function well the next day.” Make it about your needs instead of criticizing her choices.
If she starts to complain about being tired, oversleeping, missing work/classes, or having a foggy brain, resist the temptation to offer unsolicited advice. Acknowledge her feelings without trying to solve the problem for her. “I'm sorry to hear that.”
Once you get out of the mindset that this is your problem to solve, it becomes very freeing. At some point, she will have to deal with the consequences of her choices and hopefully address the issue herself.