Good for you OP on the update. You're still young but I'm glad you made the mature step to cut your losses to someone who, at the very best, does not respect your relationship boundaries. It may feel like a tough slog for a few weeks. But as long as you focus on self-improvement, you'll look back at this moment as proof of your self respect. Good luck! I used the memory of my cheating GF to routinely hit the gym!
It’s OK he’s gonna make you choose him over your sanity soon enough.
I don’t know how you were raised or what you think is normal but this is not normal. How he treated your mother! YOUR MOTHER… and the way you did not instantly break up with him out of sheer horror that one day that could be you.
In the words of a divorce lawyer, you divorce the person that you married. So if they are the nickel and dime you type, they will nickel and dime you in the divorce. If they are like this before marriage, BEFORE…girl take your one year of loss and consider this a good lesson.
Just wondering if he works. If he stays up every day till 4am?
And why can't he sleep in another room instead waking you up everytime he cause to bed? I also ask myself… you want to marry this man but can't tell him that his loud gaming is a problem. Why? For what reaction are you afraid?
I would also try silicon earplugs. They are really comfortable and you hear nothing. But it doesn't solve your problems longtime. You have an inconsiderate partner. You can't tell me that he knows that he wakes you up so often, that he knows of your insomnia and still he goes in bed so late and wakes you up and even gets loud while gaming. Pretty selfish.
He's just a boyfriend so just break up. He's not putting in effort, he doesn't seem to make you happy (nor care about trying to do so), and you're wasting money & energy for nothing. Move on to someone who will a minimum meet you half way. You don't have to stay unhappy.
My sister is dating a man with bipolar. It can be extremely emotionally draining when they have down swings. We are fixer people so when we hear these issues, we do the same and offer solutions, but none of it gets through. Then it seems to get better until once again it's not. Repeat and recycle. It can start to be hot to empathize because of the frustration of offering all this emotional support on repeat knowing that it just won't help…and then you get the additional tax of feeling useless and guilty.
I would take a step back from the relationship and let them know you want to be friends (if you still do) but you need emotional boundaries for your own sake. Sometimes friendship needs to stay surface level and that's ok.
If it isn't worth the fight, it isn't worth it. You can't take on another person's feelings over and over without it eventually taking its toll. They also need to put in the effort or seek professional help.
Dude, lawyer up and divorce her. That’s abuse. That’s bad abuse at that.
It’s one thing to be sexless but that’s fucked up. You should end it with her, your kids deserve to see two happy parents, not two people who stay together in abusive circumstances.
Your with someone who grounded you from you electronics and sent you to bed. Gads I hope you don’t have children. Do you really want an overbearing controlling parent as a wife?
I express sympathy for this.
Good for you OP on the update. You're still young but I'm glad you made the mature step to cut your losses to someone who, at the very best, does not respect your relationship boundaries. It may feel like a tough slog for a few weeks. But as long as you focus on self-improvement, you'll look back at this moment as proof of your self respect. Good luck! I used the memory of my cheating GF to routinely hit the gym!
It’s OK he’s gonna make you choose him over your sanity soon enough.
I don’t know how you were raised or what you think is normal but this is not normal. How he treated your mother! YOUR MOTHER… and the way you did not instantly break up with him out of sheer horror that one day that could be you.
In the words of a divorce lawyer, you divorce the person that you married. So if they are the nickel and dime you type, they will nickel and dime you in the divorce. If they are like this before marriage, BEFORE…girl take your one year of loss and consider this a good lesson.
Yep, just ignore her. Block her entirely if you're thinking too much about her.
Just wondering if he works. If he stays up every day till 4am?
And why can't he sleep in another room instead waking you up everytime he cause to bed? I also ask myself… you want to marry this man but can't tell him that his loud gaming is a problem. Why? For what reaction are you afraid?
I would also try silicon earplugs. They are really comfortable and you hear nothing. But it doesn't solve your problems longtime. You have an inconsiderate partner. You can't tell me that he knows that he wakes you up so often, that he knows of your insomnia and still he goes in bed so late and wakes you up and even gets loud while gaming. Pretty selfish.
He's just a boyfriend so just break up. He's not putting in effort, he doesn't seem to make you happy (nor care about trying to do so), and you're wasting money & energy for nothing. Move on to someone who will a minimum meet you half way. You don't have to stay unhappy.
So you didn't tell yours either, did you?
And yet you said you are considering leaving “the state”.
Which state?
You think a healthy relationship is doing the opposite of the thing you said you’d do?
Good luck with that!
It’s a big deal to her because you didn’t keep your word.
My sister is dating a man with bipolar. It can be extremely emotionally draining when they have down swings. We are fixer people so when we hear these issues, we do the same and offer solutions, but none of it gets through. Then it seems to get better until once again it's not. Repeat and recycle. It can start to be hot to empathize because of the frustration of offering all this emotional support on repeat knowing that it just won't help…and then you get the additional tax of feeling useless and guilty.
I would take a step back from the relationship and let them know you want to be friends (if you still do) but you need emotional boundaries for your own sake. Sometimes friendship needs to stay surface level and that's ok.
If it isn't worth the fight, it isn't worth it. You can't take on another person's feelings over and over without it eventually taking its toll. They also need to put in the effort or seek professional help.
To each their own!
And yeah, that's probably a good assumption– it's probably regional and/or cultural to a fair degree.
Good luck. It's going to be a lifelong struggle if that's not innate in him. Get used to being the one taking the lead at best.
Dude, lawyer up and divorce her. That’s abuse. That’s bad abuse at that.
It’s one thing to be sexless but that’s fucked up. You should end it with her, your kids deserve to see two happy parents, not two people who stay together in abusive circumstances.
Your with someone who grounded you from you electronics and sent you to bed. Gads I hope you don’t have children. Do you really want an overbearing controlling parent as a wife?