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❤Emma❤, 18 y.o.
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Date: October 17, 2022
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Anonymously tell him with proof.
As a heads up for your future endeavors, many people won't even date people who have cheaters as friends. Your character is showing and now is a good time to polish it up.
I found even if male friends have no interest in you initially, that can develop as they spend more time with you.
So he is unfaithful, manipulative and want you to give up on your cat ? Leave him life can be better than that
thank you,that means alot to me,and ill keep that in mind,thank you
Do not unblock her and stop taking calls from her friends. You broke up with her and that's it. It sounds cold, but you are not responsible for helping her deal with the break up.
Wonderfully put, and very true.
Isn't a vasectomy always a safer option?
Oh OP… you’re not the one at fault here and he isn’t being fair to YOU. His insecurity and inability to love you unless you provide him with sex is abusive. Him making you feel like it’s your fault for not wanting more sex with him is also abusive.
Let me paint a contrast for you.
My girlfriend and I are blissfully in love. We wake up early every morning just so we have an extra 30 mins to cuddle. We also connect incredibly deeply through sex… sometimes we have sex multiple times a day for a couple weeks, sometimes we have sex once a week. It varies based on life, stress, and how we’re feeling. Intimacy =/= sex alone. Cuddling together, playing games together, going on outings, sharing life, enjoying each other’s company… there are endless ways to be intimate and love each other. Though we both are high libido and would happily have sex every day, it’s not always a possibility and love is about about way more than sex. If that’s the only way he feels connected to you or sees value in your relationship then you’re just fuckbuddies, not life partners.
The fact that your husband withdraws affection as soon as you don’t give him what he wants is not love. And it’s not the fault of your libido either. He’s emotionally blackmailing you AND gaslighting you by making you feel badly for not having sex with him more. How are you even supposed to enjoy the sex and intimacy when there’s this much pressure on you? I can’t imagine that you do very much because at this point your relationship is transactional: you give him sex and he gives you affection. Again, that’s NOT love or a partnership. You deserve better.
You are too young for that cowardly man. I promise, he’s not worth the lost sleep. The right guy would communicate in a way that is comfortable. It’s an important way to judge compatibility.
If he does this for no reason or when he is upset, and it keeps you mentally pacing and feeling panicky, you need to move on. You can’t rely on someone changing. Especially communication style. Of course he knows you’re upset. It’s a game he’s playing. Only way to win is to take your ball and go home.
Then get into counseling to learn how to be happy and single. And after about a year, you will meet someone. Your confidence will attract the right kind of guy. Right now your clingyness is attracting jerks.
He will pop up eventually. Don’t you dare go running into his arms. If he tries to tell you it was no big deal, he was just “busy” or his phone was “broken”, he’s gaslighting you into thinking you are the problem. It’s not.
Your not a victim. Stop wasting your husbands time and go tell him. This isn’t about you this is about your kids and your husband. It’s disgusting how you think this was never gonna get out. Go tell your family what you did and stop trying to act like you weren’t the one who was wrong. Cheating is no accident you intentionally went out with ole boy and lied to your husband from the start. Shame on you OP.
I grew up in a very different America than you. But then again, I have a scar on my stomach from getting slightly stabbed by my best friend while having a sword fight with flea market swords on his netted-in trampoline.
Always trust your gut with situations and people. You did the right thing.
Rent your own place until you're able to buy your own. I saw your comments about him threatening to break up with you if you don't move in with him and yeah, hell no to that controlling bullshit. Sure, you won't be building equity while you're paying rent but that will come in time and you'll have your independence in the meantime.
As for your relationship, you need to ask yourself if you want to be in it. He's shown himself to be controlling and prepared to emotionally blackmail you into doing what he wants while giving nothing back to you in return. Personally, I wouldn't want to be put on the mortgage anyway as that would mean you'd still have to deal with him if you broke up. I do own my own place and as a homeowner, I would probably only have a partner's name on the deed if we both contributed to the purchase.
Yep it won’t but who knows the outcome? I’m doubting it could be worst than now. Something needs to change.
You are not a part of his care team. Leave.
If anything things were awkward from the get go and that’s not anyone but your parents fault. I don’t know what they were expecting but they should’ve at least made him feel welcome.
I don’t blame your boyfriend one bit at least he has humour.
I’d sit down with your dad and have a conversation, I think that’s all you can do. It’s clear your dad doesn’t have that kind of sense of humour and I think with time it’ll be something look back on and laugh and joke about.
The shock will wear off.
You need to use your words, OP. You need to be honest about your feelings “I don't love you and I'm not going to say it when I don't mean it.” “I am uncomfortable with discussing this, and I'm going to take a time out from you. Please don't contact me again.”
Then you block him. He is controlling you. You had the strength to walk away, so you need to find the strength to keep walking all the way to no contact.
You need to save your manhood by ditching this harpy asap. How do you even put up with this???
You say you were working. While drunk?! You don't get bruises from being touched gently. You could've gotten to another room and locked her out. If she continued on you could've just called the police on her. You both have major issues and need to seek treatment. Also breakup before one of you ends up behind bars or badly hurt.
Her being trans doesn’t change who she is. Yes she didn’t fully disclose this information, but also it’s incredibly tough for someone who’s trans to do so. Also four months isn’t that long, she was probably waiting until she felt safe with you. If you really love her this shouldn’t matter.
Guess she wants to get back with them with the open relationship.
Do you want to go to couples therapy and try and make it work? If you know you will never be able to get past this then I wouldn't bother. Go with your gut.
Yes I agree! Now he has all the time he needs to work on his “depression” lol
wouldn't do anything tell the youngest ships out
Why?
Thank you for your response. ?
I didn’t actually confront him, he confronted me about why I haven’t suggested marriage and kids.
I think you’re very right that this is not a relationship destined for marriage and kids.
A break is a break, it doesn't mean 'sleep with somebody else'. A Relationship break is like, a vacation from each other. If they told you not to flirt yet slept w/ somebody- that is indeed cheating and hypocritical
Yeah, if your BF doesn’t believe you, the situation isn’t going to improve, and you need to bail ASAP.
oh no yeah that’s been my approach to this. If the cycle continues I will not be a part of it, that type of deal
Yeah I’m constantly confused why America is called the dream country. It sounds like a constant nightmare.