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Date: October 22, 2022
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Both nicotine and weed man. Just trying to think of all the options
Anytime Goodluck!
Hey. You are right, nobody should be calling you names or victim blaming. I think it's frustrating people because ultimately, (even though we are a bunch of internet strangers to you), we don't want to see a young girl with her whole life ahead of her be in a situation like this. You are young, and I hope you can use this as a learning opportunity, and understand that you deserve better than this. Bad people prey on vulnerability and insecurity, and the guy you are speaking of has about 20 years on you to perfect his ability to manipulate. Some people on here are being plain mean, whereas others are trying tough love on you. Maybe that is the wrong tactic. But if nothing else, take away from this post that you don't deserve this situation, and things will get better. You'll meet better people, you'll fall in love, you will be happy. But the first step is leaving this guy in the dust. Best of luck.
It's part of the journey everyone takes.
You should look up videos, like on YT and be determined to take control of your emotions. Research tips and techniques. Be determined to want to change.
It also falls into: Developing self confidence, self control, self awareness, self discipline, self esteem
There is nothing wrong with fear. We all have it. But fear is a warning about a problem. What you do with that information is up to you.
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I do know. Which is why I'm saying if you can't handle a couple months, several years will be impossible for you.
I wouldn’t be a man’s girlfriend without knowing that. Education, salary, family, life plan. Why bother investing time and effort into something if the fundamentals are not there?
This is really it right here for me. I’m not going to begrudge anyone for not talking about past sex work, it has no bearing on the present and for many people it’s a deal breaker for not really any good reason. But if she’s talking shit about his past for hiring sex workers that’s just insanely hypocritical.
These didn't happen on the same day. No, it's not revenge, I think. I'm pretty sure it has to do with stress and thoughts that she hasn't voiced to me even though she claims there's not anything else.
Have you tried actually talking to HER about this?
If you don't start working with a therapist to get past this “betrayal trauma” you're never going to be able to trust and to have good relationships with people. You can't openly admit that you've got a major problem but then expect things to go normally. Get help so you can live! a full life without this constant worry.
You should never ask a question like this is you aren’t going to be able to accept the answer. You were talking about fantasies- they’re just that- not something you’d act upon.
Then I hate to tell you this, but someone needs to learn from your mistakes: you shouldn't have married her in the first place. You should have held out for someone who didn't have all of these red flags you recognized from your own childhood. It's great to be optimistic and hopeful, but you shouldn't marry someone because of who you hope they will become: you marry who they currently are.
And if you made a mistake, you figure out how to deal with it and then you move forward.
It’s a different culture now, and it also sounds like you’re not in the same country. I’m 48M and had my first job at 15.5, my license at 16, moved out and rented a room when I was 18 (rode a bike to work), and bought my first clunker at 19. I expected the similar effort of my kids, but it hasn’t worked with my son(23) yet and sometimes it’s frustrating.
Depending on your parents, they may have expected you to be moving along in life faster. Also as someone else said, we don’t know how much you contribute financially or physically, or how much money you spend in frivolous things your parents may not agree with.
All that said, it’s their house. No matter how unreasonable they may seem, if you don’t like it, it’s time to move out.
Sure, but tell her that her paycheck comes with obligations. Spell them out and see if she is interested in the job offer.
Karsh
Not a bad idea on the shelf. Try not to get to upset over it.
He has zero business being your therapist. I love my partner but there is no way in fucking hell would I ever be comfortable sharing things with them that happened to me. Especially trauma related issues.
It would be highly unethical for your spouse to be your therapist. I don’t think he’d be able to separate you as a patient and his wife. He would be bound by HIPAA and in arguments he could throw it all in your face or once he hears about your issues he may try to say your mentally unstable and he needs to have POA or something.
His reaction to you telling him no is very telling and if he’s a licensed therapist then I’d worry about his actual patients.
You are on Reddit asking strangers for advice. You deserve time to yourself with an actual therapist.
Well, that is a dilemma.
Honey, you have very elegant boobs that match the rest of you. Dump his sorry, immature ass. Do not, repeat do not, consider getting them augment. When you have a pair of melons on your chest they are a bloody nuisance. People judge on your boobs and not your character. People get unwarrantedly jealous, They bloody hurt, and then they sag!( Was a B, went to a EE with pregnancy and childbirth)
Sex can still be enjoyable if there are no or just one orgasm involved. Of course no one should just leave their partner hanging after they cum but getting stressed about cumming makes the sex less fun as well. The most important thing is to relax and have fun. Sex is not a competition or an exam. Communicate about what you want to do next and only do things you both enjoy in the moment.
If you notice though that there is a pattern of one of you not getting your needs met (for example: you don't get her off before you cum and then are too tired to continue, but it doesn't have to be like that. Could be that she isn't in the mood anymore after her orgasm or whatever) there is a need for a different routine, toys or whatever.
Does he do it in front of others or touch/compliment others the same way? If it is his style with everyone, ask him to dial it waaay back with you as it makes you uncomfortable in the workplace. If he only does it when you are alone, tell him to please keep things professional, then walk to some place others can observe you both. If he means nothing wrong he will stop. If he does not stop or starts up again after a break, you have your answer and should go to HR. Starting now document every interaction that makes you uncomfortable and your conversations with him. Try talking about it in a text. Tape the conversations if you can. General compliments are fine, detailed ones are questionable. Only you know what you are comfortable with. You do not sound comfortable with the current situation. If he really is a great manager and a decent guy he will respect your boundaries.
Yes, I just feel he broke my trust in some way. It's a big decision because as I said when everything is going well it's amazing. But moving in puts me in a position where I'm going to depend on him completely until everything (legal and personal whise) is fixed. And it scares me a lot
OP to me it can't be excused look she lied because she thought you wouldn't want her so to me that shows that she will lie if it's to her benefit also the fact that she lied so early in the relationship would be a red flag to me i know people are gonna say it's just a little lie or she didn't mean no harm but to me a lie is a lie no matter what
Oh my gosh. I had a quick look through some of your post history. And rather than conclude – as you have – that he is looking past your baggage, it seems to me that he is exploiting your DACA status to get you do what he wants. He knows how much this marriage will help you financially and with your residency.
Have you seen that show on tv about the sons who live wth their controlling moms and try dating? Yeah thats how its gonna go…