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Date: September 24, 2022
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OP, David is your husband’s friend. Does he know David’s wife?
And where does he stand on all this? You’ve talked about how everyone else responded, but not your husband, who presumably is close enough with David to ask him to stand up at your wedding.
I ask bc if he has a preexisting relationship with David’s wife, it may be better coming from him. And bc… why is your husband not talking to David himself and telling him to cut the crap bc everyone knows David didn’t actually tell her. He needs to back you up and be the one to tell her if David won’t. And if he’s not condemning David for his choices rn? I’d be concerned! Silence is an endorsement of the action. You know the right thing to do is be sure she knows, and he needs to stand with you on this.
He is letting her know he is there to help her with her sexual needs. He knows exactly what he is doing.
The thing is, I've answered your question in different comments, and Ive already admitted that I didn't really do much when it came to that (getting married and having kids). I've taken time to understand where I went wrong and there is still room for me to grow and ask from him where I went wrong.
So, douted what?
Nothing really, we were talking about lunches in general and he brought up how beautiful his coworkers look but also nude to eat because a lot of food in a bento box. Idk, i just felt a bit weird about him complementing another womans cooking and I think my postpartum hormones got the best of me.
I think someone saw at work, maybe they made fun of him or something so thats why hes this upset
I already did. I’m not having any sex until I get it
Ya I thought for sure they were already meeting up but that’s what I get for assuming
She said no but i thought it was her preference for me not to go there at least that's how i understood it. But if i knew her reaction would be like that i wouldn't have gone.
Yes. He obviously isn't mature enough to be in a relationship. It is OK to take a small amount of time to calm down after a disagreement, although everyone should know that's what is happening. The silent treatment is different and unacceptable.
Calling the wedding off doesn’t mean the relationship is over. It just means you and T can focus on healing T from his invisible injuries. There is not a damn thing wrong with that. Help find him a therapist he needs.
For yourself, give it a timeframe that if he doesn’t try to get help than you are out.
Why do you think you should bring it up again? What do you expect/hope would happen if you do?
Haha sure, my gf can pinch my nipples, it would be funny to me. It wouldn't be funny if she thought that it's okay to do that and I punched her for it. That's why you need to set boundaries and talk with your partner. Early in our relationship, she told a lot about her traumatizing past and told me what is taboo and what is not. This clearly didn't happen in this case.
So yeah, I don't agree with most people here making her look like a victim when she clearly told nothing to her new bf. I would get upset too if I did something that I THOUGHT was acceptable and if I got punched for it.
Good thing that OP is smart and didn't listen to most of the comments shitting on her bf, calling him abusive and manipulative from reading a little line of text lmao
Cheating or other poor behavior is rarely a reflection on the recipient. It's almost always because of an issue the enactor has.
In this case, for whatever reason she is just not ready for a full committed relationship. It's not your fault, her choice of affair partner has nothing to do with you and everything to do with her desire to escape, self sabotage, or whatever other trauma she's not handling.
Stop rewarding any attention seeking behavior. This means all communication is text or email, no face to face or phone calls. If she wants to see the kids, work with a registered supervised visitation center you both split the cost for. Set boundaries and when she violates them put her in time out. For example if a text turns into a whine about taking her back, tell her you're muting her for the next 24 hours, and do it.
If you can't afford an attorney consider asking family for help, also check with your employer, many have an employee assistance program that includes time with an attorney.
Logistics aside, you did your best. Learn from the relationship and get the best closure you can.
This is one of those – you made your bed now lay in it – something like that. Now you are whining about a dynamic you created. You made her uncomfortable and she told you, you did it again. Weird ass ole man lol