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Date: December 20, 2022
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real talk. if my gf dont have sex with me in nearly 1 1/2 year and than leave me for a 5 month trip. oh boy i wouldnt be the same either. every one is talking about how you should confront her but in reality she should confront you and leave you behind.
Stop snooping.
it's one thing to realize you are aromantic in the middle of a relationship, but it sounds like you knew the whole time and simply chose to mislead this poor woman for SIX MONTHS… it sounds like something a middle schooler would do, not something nearing 30. good lawd
I understand. Well, in my opinion, you should be as honest as you can with her but also just be a steady, supportive presence for her. She’s not going to irreversibly ruin her life in six months.
You aren’t cheating now since you aren’t together but yeah it sounds like you started emotionally cheating. You should feel bad because this is a bad thing to do. Id recommend cutting off your ex instead of continuing to hurt him like this.
So for #2, he doesn't take accountability for actions and apologize for hurting you under the guise of “starting each day new”. And then if you are still hurt, YOU are the “black hole”, right?
That is such BS! He is using “positivity” as an excuse to avoid facing his actions & then blaming you for a perfectly natural response to being insulted.
My husband does this ALL the time. He will be rude or lose his cool. I may or may not get an apology. But he thinks just acting nicer should make up for it. News flash – it doesn't! In order to feel emotionally safe with that person again, sometimes you need to hear the words “I was wrong to say that. I'm sorry.”
This dynamic will not get better on its own. Either insist on marriage counseling or decide whether you can keep living like this. Currently he doesn't see an issue with his behavior.
How do you see a future with him?
Why don't you start dating in your country? He's probably already married and definitely not going to see you anytime soon
If he was 26, I’d be cool with him dating only 26 and below but since he’s 33, it makes me think he wants to control the women he dates. The only guys I’ve ever known who solely dated women in the mid to lower 20s (as older men) didn’t like women who had too many opinions (their words) or they had fantasies of 18 year olds (ick).
You definitely should. These diseases come in groups. She may have been a completely innocent party with her ex. But she should have told you the truth.
You need to get fully tested for all STDs. All of them and you should abstain from sex for three months to 6 months until you are fully tested and tested negative.
This is serious. You could potentially expose someone else if you leave now and jump into bed with another woman
You both sound awful and manipulative. Demanding someone be kind and soft and gentle in the middle of a disagreement is unfair.
Not petty…realistic!!
Are you ok with living with this kind of emotional turmoil for the long term? Because you will never get the relationship you want from this man. Better to terminate then to bring a baby into that kind of mess.
I honestly am going to go with – he’s trying to bait you into contacting him. Don’t take the bait!!!
I see. You're saying that she doesn't direct her anger ONLY at me and her family. Thanks, that's helpful to know.
I understand you'd really like to have him there, but it seems your boyfriend is at a place where he emotionally can't handle being there right now.
Losing a family member is hard, everyone handles grief differently. I think you just really need to try understanding his position.
He has been there for you as much as he can. I'm terribly sorry that you're going through this, but you both have needs that are important.
No, what you’re saying is untrue lmao
Yes, I'd like to talk and come to a fair agreement on boundaries
OP, you've received a lot of good advice in this thread, but I wanted to add on and say that you look absolutely radiant in that photo. Screw your ex (I HOPE!) for making you feel bad about yourself.
Just explain that it’s a chance to catch up with friends.
You don’t mention how long you have been in a relationship with your BF, nor if he has met your friends yet.
If this is a long term relationship, and he hasn’t met your friends, then while not rude to not invite him, you are setting up a barrier between your friends and your relationship with him, and that will be very difficult to break down, and any future interactions will potentially be fraught because of it.
I do hope that you haven’t put your foot in it with your comment “and if anyone else had a SO they wouldn’t be coming either” and that no one does bring a SO, because while it’s out of your control, if your BF finds out that someone did, then this wound in your relationship will open back up.
yeah i have and Ive met him. He’s a piece of shit and actually disgusted by this guy. Hes the worst cheater ive heard of and he is proud of it.
Good men don't do this. He is NOT a good man. He is a pathetic excuse for one who sides with abusers.
I think she said that comment in meaning “look at this cute part of yours” or something like that. I heard girls talk about penis like “little friend” of a man. That has nothing to do with size of that said penis, more like in comparing with whole person.