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Just remember just like how he is your only close family, you’re his as well. Don’t leave him out to dry. It’s so nice that he wants to spend time with you. Don’t lose that bond with him, coming from someone who doesn’t have a great relationship with their dad. Don’t lose it.
He's just shown you what to expect from him from now on. He clearly has little remorse Soon you'll have broken bones. How can you love someone that is hurting you? He doesn't love you; you don't purposely hurt the ones you love. Please plan your escape.
You and his girlfriend or you and your friend insult each other a lot jokingly? Because I'm talking about you and his gf since it would obviously hurt her feelings
He is the one who is gross and he is trying to gaslight you into believing what YOU did was wrong so that he doesn't have to face consequences for his shitty actions. Hell no. D-I-V-O-R-C-E.
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If you can't forget it then keep it with you, I would get out now but, if you want to try making it work just remember 1 thing.
Abusive partners only get worse so if he comes at you again then definitely get out immediately. That whole I'm sorry but you made me do it is a lie, he did it because he lost control in the moment and will do it again “because you made me do it”.
I can't get past the “you made me do it” that would be the one red flag I would run from every time I thought of it.
Trust for me would be gone. No way could I trust she hasn't had any affairs since then. Do you have kids? If not, bail. Divorce her and out her as a lying cheater. A decent woman does not date one guy and fuck another.
It's a quote by a famous philosopher that I hoped supported direct communication.
Disclaiming you cannot date or fuck someone who is having a normal non-flirtatious interaction with you has NO bearing on if you are a stand up person or not.
Please reach out to a qualified mental health professional who can help support you in navigating this relationship.
Your girlfriend is unhealthy and unstable. The emotional extremes you're describing aren't appropriate for the length of the relationship, and you are putting yourself in legal jeopardy by contributing to the delinquency of a suicidal minor. At the same time, you are not her parent, and her emotional well being is not your responsibility, at least not to the degree you seem to be feeling.
Please find a therapist for some independent support. You are going to need it.
Unless she's raising your kids and is a stay-at-home Mom there's no reason she shouldn't have a job and pay for her own things. Why would you want to date someone who doesn't pitch in?
One important note is that it's not your job to calm them down. Healthy people get angry and get over it. They don't need to be managed by their loved ones so they don't lose their shit. Usually you can just give them some space. If they want to vent, maybe let them a little bit, but don't go around trying to cheer them up. They are in charge of managing their own emotions.
So she mouths off to the wrong person, endangers you both and she's mad you spoke Spanish to de-escalate the situation instead of being sorry for adding fuel to the fire and getting a gun pulled on you both?
Wft talk about zero situational awareness and entitled to make it worse. So glad she's your ex and great job on not getting shot.
It all depends. Any skin-to-skin contact can be, or can become, intimate. On the other hand, lots of people will give a platonic friend a shoulder rub (through clothing) or massage their stiff neck.
Since it bothers you, ask him not to do it again. He may think it's no big deal, but if it upsets you, it's a big deal.
Yeah i guess you're right. But it just feels wrong to leave him like that after 5 years together, u know? I totally get what you're saying, i just need time to process all of this. Of course i wouldn't be selfish if it were to be the other way, i already told him. But he said that he wouldn't even think about going. He likes to twist my words against me…
Sounds like you feel guilty. As I mentioned in your OG post, this is the likely reason and it’s not your fault or your fiancée’s fault. Yes he got violent and he needs to think on that but your friend is a creep, went into further creepiness with his response and your fiancé felt violated. That’s what happened the friend violated you and your fiancé trust and that is on the friend. He needs to feel bad not you.
He brushed off what was attempted sexual assault. You didn't consent to it, and when confronted he laughed.
Also yea, this does connect to the age gap. He wants an inexperienced partner that wouldn't know better. I think he was surprised that you would know about consent and lied to you that he doesn't need your consent during the act. He's not a good partner.
Just remember just like how he is your only close family, you’re his as well. Don’t leave him out to dry. It’s so nice that he wants to spend time with you. Don’t lose that bond with him, coming from someone who doesn’t have a great relationship with their dad. Don’t lose it.
They gonna fuck.
Well approximately 25% of people who ask for paternity tests in the UD find out their child isn't theirs , so it does happen.
He's just shown you what to expect from him from now on. He clearly has little remorse Soon you'll have broken bones. How can you love someone that is hurting you? He doesn't love you; you don't purposely hurt the ones you love. Please plan your escape.
You and his girlfriend or you and your friend insult each other a lot jokingly? Because I'm talking about you and his gf since it would obviously hurt her feelings
Dude, why are even with her? Wait, I forgot, you're not actually with her…
My advise, forget about her, move on, find someone you can enjoy in real life, life's too short to waste it live! with a virtual girlfriend/boyfriend.
Yes! I have had ons, and guys there treated me better than this.
He is the one who is gross and he is trying to gaslight you into believing what YOU did was wrong so that he doesn't have to face consequences for his shitty actions. Hell no. D-I-V-O-R-C-E.
I was touched by a mix cd made by an ex gf who went away for 6 months. Not sure if that realy is practical now.
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Run.
You sound like a misogynistic asshat, and they sound like a psycho manipulator…
Cut them off and reflect on why you said what you said.
If you can't forget it then keep it with you, I would get out now but, if you want to try making it work just remember 1 thing.
Abusive partners only get worse so if he comes at you again then definitely get out immediately. That whole I'm sorry but you made me do it is a lie, he did it because he lost control in the moment and will do it again “because you made me do it”.
I can't get past the “you made me do it” that would be the one red flag I would run from every time I thought of it.
Trust for me would be gone. No way could I trust she hasn't had any affairs since then. Do you have kids? If not, bail. Divorce her and out her as a lying cheater. A decent woman does not date one guy and fuck another.
Literally did not have to read past the title, but I did.
Don't give guys who use that kind of language the time of day.
While nice, you're basically saying you should never talk about issues with your partner.
The things here is, if your partner can't handle a conversation like this, they are simply emotionally immature.
It's a quote by a famous philosopher that I hoped supported direct communication.
Disclaiming you cannot date or fuck someone who is having a normal non-flirtatious interaction with you has NO bearing on if you are a stand up person or not.
You said in other comments you EXPECT him to pay more with rent and everything else. Where is your independence there then?
Six years, eh? It's probably time. Let's face it, you're just avoidant. Get over it.
Please reach out to a qualified mental health professional who can help support you in navigating this relationship.
Your girlfriend is unhealthy and unstable. The emotional extremes you're describing aren't appropriate for the length of the relationship, and you are putting yourself in legal jeopardy by contributing to the delinquency of a suicidal minor. At the same time, you are not her parent, and her emotional well being is not your responsibility, at least not to the degree you seem to be feeling.
Please find a therapist for some independent support. You are going to need it.
Unless she's raising your kids and is a stay-at-home Mom there's no reason she shouldn't have a job and pay for her own things. Why would you want to date someone who doesn't pitch in?
thank you
You should probably see a therapist if possible.
One important note is that it's not your job to calm them down. Healthy people get angry and get over it. They don't need to be managed by their loved ones so they don't lose their shit. Usually you can just give them some space. If they want to vent, maybe let them a little bit, but don't go around trying to cheer them up. They are in charge of managing their own emotions.
So she mouths off to the wrong person, endangers you both and she's mad you spoke Spanish to de-escalate the situation instead of being sorry for adding fuel to the fire and getting a gun pulled on you both?
Wft talk about zero situational awareness and entitled to make it worse. So glad she's your ex and great job on not getting shot.
It all depends. Any skin-to-skin contact can be, or can become, intimate. On the other hand, lots of people will give a platonic friend a shoulder rub (through clothing) or massage their stiff neck.
Since it bothers you, ask him not to do it again. He may think it's no big deal, but if it upsets you, it's a big deal.
Oh honey…
Your flatmate is correct.
How old are the kids?
Yeah i guess you're right. But it just feels wrong to leave him like that after 5 years together, u know? I totally get what you're saying, i just need time to process all of this. Of course i wouldn't be selfish if it were to be the other way, i already told him. But he said that he wouldn't even think about going. He likes to twist my words against me…
How would she react if you were to say ” I really like you but, I d like it if you lost 20lbs, I like my women a little more fit. “
Sounds like you feel guilty. As I mentioned in your OG post, this is the likely reason and it’s not your fault or your fiancée’s fault. Yes he got violent and he needs to think on that but your friend is a creep, went into further creepiness with his response and your fiancé felt violated. That’s what happened the friend violated you and your fiancé trust and that is on the friend. He needs to feel bad not you.
He brushed off what was attempted sexual assault. You didn't consent to it, and when confronted he laughed.
Also yea, this does connect to the age gap. He wants an inexperienced partner that wouldn't know better. I think he was surprised that you would know about consent and lied to you that he doesn't need your consent during the act. He's not a good partner.
You know what to do.
He was so lonely after a week? What a little twatwaffle bitch. Sounds like a manboy, not a man.
Did you have a question?