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Room for on-line sex video chat SamanthaDuke
Model from: co
Languages: es
Birth Date: 1993-06-22
Body Type: bodyTypeAthletic
Ethnicity: ethnicityEbony
Hair color: hairColorBlack
Eyes color: eyeColorBlack
Subculture: subcultureHousewives
Date: October 24, 2022
What?!?! Maybe going forward she can drop hints, but this is great advice considering the effort and thought put into the gift. Now the guy has spent double the money on consumer crap because she is an ungrateful wife. The guy had custom jewelry made with the two most important days of their lives engraved. It’s not like he bought a PS5 and pretended it’s for her….
Time to move forward in your life and leave him behind.
Your gf has so many red flags. My guy, this isn’t something you can fix, she’s got some really bad toxic behaviors, that most likely only therapy and years of it could fix. One, the fact that things go badly when you bring up concerns, that’s defensiveness. Google defensiveness in relationships to understand how that messes shit up. Solutions for it are learning better conflict resolution skills, validation skills, and emotional support skills (all of which can be googled and sounds like you have and she doesn’t).
Two, when you don’t like one thing she does, she doesn’t self sabotage, she manipulates you with threats. Don’t have sex once when she wants it? Well then she won’t ever ask for it again. Dude, that’s a threat. She saying give me sex when I want it or else I’ll never ask or show interest again. Dude, fuck that. She needs to learn that she’s not always going to get her way and she needs to stop trying to threaten you into doing what she wants but ask and negotiate for it. Here again learning conflict resolution skills would be useful for her.
And three, another issue is, when she wants something, even before you say no, rather than ask and negotiate for it, she criticizes you. And it works, every time she criticizes you that you’re not doing enough you sacrifice more and do what she wants. Problem is doing it her way builds resentment or depression in a partner and will kill the relationship and often becomes abusive, if it’s not already. What might help here is again her learning conflict resolution skills, specifically how to turn complaints into requests (which also can be googled) and also familiarize herself with the magic relationship ratio (also easy to google) which you seem to already understand.
And you, not to get down on you, but you sound like a people pleaser, doing what ever it takes to keep the other person happy, regardless of it’s impact to you. And as much as it works at times, it makes you an easy target to manipulate and be taken advantage of. For you, you need to recognize that your needs are just as important as everyone else’s, and anyone who treats you other wise like your gf, isn’t someone you want in your life. You need to assert you needs are of equal importance and if she can’t respect that, then walk. Or else you’re just allowing someone to use, manipulate and abuse you.
I’m upvoting ya. It’s true but it’s reddit so..
We are family oriented and most of our friends are also parents. We don't spend a ton of time away from each other. She has a community of friends that has been built around being a stay at home mom. I'm not sure if I trust her, given that the trust has been broken.
Part of the reason I'm posting here is that I'm not sure if I am ready to contact a lawyer and go that far.
Mickey Mouse is getting the hard action whenever you leave the house. Your bedroom is mostly dead. Have you tried any counseling? Your wife might have a porn addiction.
Yep, I once got flack for not being a true “Patriot”. They did not comprehend that Canada is not part of the US.
Hmm I must admit your response here changes my viewpoint slightly.
She wants to be involved and a hands on grandparent. Fair play to her. We have this dynamic in my family and it’s great when it worlds well.
But you’re not that hands on with your kids and grandkids? You only see them a few times a month…? So would it be fair to say the move wouldn’t really change the frequency of your visits? You’re not seeing them even weekly so wouod moving really change that?
I understand not wanting to move away from your home where you are settled. Can’t blame you for that but I do see her point
The thing is, those other 3 weddings? They already happened. Your wedding can’t change the past.
And the tradition of gift giving at weddings in general? That’s a mountain, not a hill, and using your own wedding to “take a stand” against the entire institution of marital tradition— as though it will make a single drop of difference in summiting that mountain?— is like… idek…
Is it possible you’re not as ok as you think you are with the big wedding, and this morality thing is just a safer way to say you’re scared/not ready?
I personally agree, in terms of genuinely valuing people/time together above all else, and that expectation around gifts makes me profoundly uncomfortable (personally), and troubles my heart (for anyone I care about to feel as though I could possibly require some thing ‘more’ than… them, the “obligation on my behalf” part truly sucks!!)… but. This day isn’t just about you. Or even your wife. It’s also about the people who love you guys, all coming together to celebrate your love, and if it makes some of those people happy to bring or give a gift, then maybe just consider that your gift to them!!?
Bc really, as it stands, the point I hear you trying to make (that of normalizing people vs things) is likely to get completely lost in the discomfort/awkwardness around those who want to and can give not being able to, and those who can’t being told they’ve created enough fuss to derail your whole wedding!?
If you’re meaning what I think you are, then being gracious really IS the biggest stand you can possibly make… By saying in truly respectful terms and with the warmest of affection “I love you, and if it’s a burden or an obstacle for you to wrangle up a gift, or even simply to attend, I’d move heaven and earth to have you with me, and I’m angry at the world in which you might ever question that. So please, be alongside me/us, and feel no shame or guilt for anything at all, unless you secretly hate me and have never had the guts to say so. In which case, I might not move quite as many heavens nor quiiite as much earth to have you by my side on this one special day. Maybe if you secretly hate me, you could do me the favor of talking to me (but not until after the wedding, ok?), and if you don’t, and you spend your whole life hating me while pretending to like me, then maybe it’d be ok for you to feel a little bit of guilt, only for having made yourself endure the intolerable just to spare my feelings. Otherwise, we’re all good, come and party! Even if you can’t afford it! Because I CAN, and I WANT to spend this time and this money to be with you so badly I considered torpedoing my literal wedding in a misguided but totally sincere attempt to make the world a fairer place for you! Yeah? Yes? Ok!!”