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Date: October 26, 2022
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Birth control messes with your hormones, i understand why she quit. Did she explicitly say ,I want unprotected sex’ or did she say ,I don’t want to take birth control anymore’ Cause these two sentences are very different in messages
Holy shit. First, thank you for telling me. I think this isn’t going to end well. Not only because Nick is going to find Amy, but also because most of the family is now aware Amy and Levi are dating — and we don’t know their reactions to the relationship as OP never mentioned it despite being asked. They could also be planning to find Amy and talk to her, or maybe they’re onboard. We don’t know & OP has now deleted her account so we’ll never know :/
Also, I feel terrible because when I initially saw the post, I glossed over the ages and didn’t realize Nick was a decade older than Amy…that’s just…yuck. Puts everything in a different perspective. And now as I’m reading all the comments I’m realizing it was definitely a grooming situation. The way OP worded it threw me off completely as it painted a different picture.
Moving forward I’m going to pay better attention to the small details in posts, because I should’ve realized this was grooming & I could’ve given OP better advice.
It’s better to it it the younger the puppy is. It’ll adjust more easily to the new home. Don’t wait too long.
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Hey OP. Things suck there at the moment and I feel the stress and strain of your predicament.
The gist of my reply is “reframing” her kissing. We all know it was a form of cheating. But what if you forgot about that part for a moment and instead saw it as a signal. Like:
Your relationship–as you're currently showing up in it–has gone on too long;
Your sense of self, as an autonomous person, too greatly identified with the relationship and not enough with who you should or could be as a person;
In different ways, you each have had a foot out of the door already;
Whether, if you build yourself into a better person, another future woman might please you more than your current partner; and
Whether–again after you better yourself–your partner may value you and the relationship in that deeper way that most people seek.
To my ear, your current relationship seems, as much as anything else, like a catalyst for (your own) positive changes which you may bring into a future union.
Analogizing for nuts & bolts work, this also seems like the equivalent of a short-term marriage without children or deeply-merged financial links. To the degree that you end this, there is commonly an awkward phase of how to exist separately under the same roof.
I would just add, that if you two do agree to end it, due to living circumstances the emotional side of agreeing to separate has to be simultaneously met with each of you taking tangible physical steps to tangibly and factually separate, e.g. find accommodations and gather up monies to independently exist.
It can feel overwhelming to begin the steps to set up one's new life, like with a brand new apartment and so forth. One of you may have to give the other a gentle boost in that direction. Again, it is very common.
Finally, consider buying the Fisher and Alberti book called, ” Rebuilding When Your Relationship Ends.” It's good for married and unmarried couples. There could be local support groups in your city which center on the book. You will feel right at home with the attendees.
Best wishes OP, a lot of us here are really and actually pulling for you (and the girl too if she did but know it).
What advice do you really want here?
It’s clear that neither of you respect eachother because you both cheated on ONE ANOTHER. Like wtf? I don’t understand how people don’t have enough self respect and self worth to walk away from someone who cheated on them. The disrespect??? It truly blows my mind.
Plus she waited 3 YEARS to tell you. 3 YEARS?!!! – If I were you I could never trust her again. God knows what else she’s been hiding from you.
Please OP, ask yourself what YOU really want here? At the end of the day you decide. I know it hurts, but it seems like you guys are not good for one another.
You can love someone but realize it’s no longer working out anymore. And that’s okay. You can Love them from a distance. You are SO young. You’ll meet so many other people who will treat you with respect.
My current boyfriend introduced me to his family after about three weeks and even though I was a bit skeptic at first, it didn't take me long to realise the reason he did it so fast was he's really close to his family, especially his dad so he was really excited for us to meet as soon as possible. I know this might not apply to your boyfriend so it's just one of the options
It sounds like she is self aware in that regard, so that is a good sign, it means that she might be able to grow, and learn how to better express herself. So there might be hope there!
Perhaps a few sessions with a couples counsellor might help you both? Someone neutral who can point out where both of you are going wrong in how you express yourselves, and help you come up with ways to better communicate? That might be what you both need?
This is really, really wrong. He should not be your boyfriend anymore at all. This is extremely illegal. He does not respect you at all. I am sorry he has done this to you. Please, please don’t be with someone who doesn’t respect you. It’s not worth it.
You aren't married with kids and a SAHM with your partner supporting you financially while he pays al the bills. Why are you acting as a bangmaid?
Jaundice is not good. He needs to see someone, seriously. And quick.