Hi OP, I feel for you. I want to mention two things off the bat that you did right from the start:
Held a boundary at removing all pictures from the first 18 years of your life from your home. You knew your late wife since you were children. It is unreasonable to ask that you erase any evidence that those years happened or mattered.
You compromised when your girlfriend expressed discomfort. You removed some, not all, photos. This should have been sufficient acknowledgement that her feelings matter to you as a current partner and that you’re willing to translate that into action.
I do not know if the number of remaining photos would be considered excessive to a reasonable romantic partner/person in general given the info provided. If this is a concern, ask an honest friend for their take.
I implore you to not let your ex gf back into your life, and to stop contacting her. Do this for your daughter if not for yourself.
Breaking things when upset instead of talking out is abusive. Screaming at your daughter over an innocent question/project is abusive. Demanding that your daughter, who has known gf all of two years, must now consider her to be “mom” and never bring up the mother she lost before she got a chance to really know the person who gave birth to her is cruel, manipulative and unacceptable.
Grief is tricky. It’s not linear. It’s not time-limited. It’s not something that needs to be “gotten over”, ever. This info provided is not enough for me to say that your way of remembering your late wife is holding you back from fulfilling romantic relationships or other things you might want to experience in life, because you were not the cause of this. There’s nothing in what you shared that causes me to believe your experience of grief is harmful.
Focus on healing from this experience for yourself and your daughter. It is scary and heartbreaking to watch someone you love and trust turn into an abuser in the blink of an eye. You need to process this loss of another hoped-for future.
I wish you strength, healing and luck. Give your daughter an extra hug.
Does anyone else smell gas here? He's a gaslighter, and you're gaslighting yourself if you think he's great. He doesn't care about how you feel and even defended his actions, well he sounds great. I guess women can be thankful that you're so kind to keep him out of the dating pool at the expense of yourself. Find a partner that cares about you. You deserve better, but you need to start believing that.
I would have pulled her tshirt up over her head as I booted her out the door. Totally out of line. And definitely not a friend Take your perfect boobs and find your own man bitch!
OP says right in the post that they didn't take the car home because they went out of town for two days and instead used their friend's car. They didn't need to do that. They could have just taken it back home and used their own car or whatever means they were going to use originally to go out of town. Had OP not done that, the damage wouldn't have even occurred.
Not that I want to put a dampener on things but I think it's wise for all people to consider how they would feel about becoming a single parent before they have children because isn't it about 50% of marriages that end in divorce now? I would imagine it's the same for non-married people or even higher.
If I were you I would make this decision completely on what you want and work the fact that you're statistically quite likely to become a single mother as it is, but even more likely given what he's said about this pregnancy and the future of your relationship himself. He also doesn't sound like a long-term partner baby or no baby if I'm honest.
Or he’s disconnecting, he may say “let’s talk about it another time”…but it likely won’t be him making the initiating to revisit it. Make a list of all the times those “can we talk about it later” conversations actually get to be had. Then think on it.
Yes they do
Inform yourself please
Some people dont act on physical attraction. Any guy Ive ever approached definitely was not due to looks lol
This is a winning comment
Hi OP, I feel for you. I want to mention two things off the bat that you did right from the start:
Held a boundary at removing all pictures from the first 18 years of your life from your home. You knew your late wife since you were children. It is unreasonable to ask that you erase any evidence that those years happened or mattered.
You compromised when your girlfriend expressed discomfort. You removed some, not all, photos. This should have been sufficient acknowledgement that her feelings matter to you as a current partner and that you’re willing to translate that into action.
I do not know if the number of remaining photos would be considered excessive to a reasonable romantic partner/person in general given the info provided. If this is a concern, ask an honest friend for their take.
I implore you to not let your ex gf back into your life, and to stop contacting her. Do this for your daughter if not for yourself.
Breaking things when upset instead of talking out is abusive. Screaming at your daughter over an innocent question/project is abusive. Demanding that your daughter, who has known gf all of two years, must now consider her to be “mom” and never bring up the mother she lost before she got a chance to really know the person who gave birth to her is cruel, manipulative and unacceptable.
Grief is tricky. It’s not linear. It’s not time-limited. It’s not something that needs to be “gotten over”, ever. This info provided is not enough for me to say that your way of remembering your late wife is holding you back from fulfilling romantic relationships or other things you might want to experience in life, because you were not the cause of this. There’s nothing in what you shared that causes me to believe your experience of grief is harmful.
Focus on healing from this experience for yourself and your daughter. It is scary and heartbreaking to watch someone you love and trust turn into an abuser in the blink of an eye. You need to process this loss of another hoped-for future.
I wish you strength, healing and luck. Give your daughter an extra hug.
Dump his ass.
Does anyone else smell gas here? He's a gaslighter, and you're gaslighting yourself if you think he's great. He doesn't care about how you feel and even defended his actions, well he sounds great. I guess women can be thankful that you're so kind to keep him out of the dating pool at the expense of yourself. Find a partner that cares about you. You deserve better, but you need to start believing that.
I have so many times. It’s like he forgets. Or just only cares abt his climax. I don’t even care to try asking anymore.
I would have pulled her tshirt up over her head as I booted her out the door. Totally out of line. And definitely not a friend Take your perfect boobs and find your own man bitch!
u/songergrl123, it looks like you're trying to post a throwaway submission. Your account is too young and/or your comment karma is too low.
The right way to do it is to create a brand new Reddit account that begins with ThrowRA.
Please create a new account that starts with ThrowRA in the username and try again. Please note that we will not make exceptions to this rule.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
Such as?
OP says right in the post that they didn't take the car home because they went out of town for two days and instead used their friend's car. They didn't need to do that. They could have just taken it back home and used their own car or whatever means they were going to use originally to go out of town. Had OP not done that, the damage wouldn't have even occurred.
Not that I want to put a dampener on things but I think it's wise for all people to consider how they would feel about becoming a single parent before they have children because isn't it about 50% of marriages that end in divorce now? I would imagine it's the same for non-married people or even higher.
If I were you I would make this decision completely on what you want and work the fact that you're statistically quite likely to become a single mother as it is, but even more likely given what he's said about this pregnancy and the future of your relationship himself. He also doesn't sound like a long-term partner baby or no baby if I'm honest.
Or he’s disconnecting, he may say “let’s talk about it another time”…but it likely won’t be him making the initiating to revisit it. Make a list of all the times those “can we talk about it later” conversations actually get to be had. Then think on it.