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Date: November 6, 2022
I actually forgot to add but while it was happening he felt my tears and immediately stopped and started apologizing. Is it possible that he didn't fully understand me saying that I'm not really in the mood or do i sound r*tarded.
Make her choose
Well I can already tell you by the very few paragraphs you wrote that you are far from mature enough to know what a healthy relationship is or capable of choosing a lifetime partner who is worthy having children with.
You can see it as being rude, sometimes you need tough love to actually realize things and grow.
Also having an abortion is not a simple procedure like having your tooth pulled. It can cause many horrible complications for your future fertility and you should respect your body more and not jeopardize your reproductive health over some toxic dude.
I hope everything turns out well for you, whatever you decide and hope you make smarter decisions in the future.
Go on Christmas break and use that time to have a break from him. Don’t talk, call, text, DM, or see each other. You need to read what you wrote here- he was screaming at you in front of people and he threatened to kill himself. This guy is abusive and manipulative and you’re too hurt and traumatized to see it. You need therapy to learn how to see what he is doing is wrong and not your fault.
Go be with people who love you. Have a good Christmas and block this asshole.
This is not how people treat each other.
Dear Gods, 17 years older and he's talking about how beautiful you'd be pregnant.
Run. This sound like some weird breeder fetish. I would predict that now he's saying you'd be beautiful pregnant and in a year you'd be a single mom chasing him for some pathetic amount of child support.
You aren't getting the truth at all.
No rational person books a room for an entire month to clear their head while still married. He obviously met someone but is troubled by one of two things. He either doesn't know how to end it with you without exposing himself, or he is unsure if the new girl is going to be long term.
Your best bet is to quit playing the pick me dance, do the grey rock and file some papers on the grounds of abandonment and possible infidelity. I doubt he will ever the the truth and might not ever get back with you, but this might force his hand. Let a lawyer handle it, this will show you mean business rather than groveling for him to return.
Do this now while he is there, it will force his hand way more than begging and crying.
This is actually a pretty common phenomenon: the dry drunk. He's not drinking, but many of the unhealthy behaviors remain.
Can you find an Al-Anon group to join? They may be able to help you navigate what's going on.
This is just one of those things you learn. Never get involved with your friends relationships because you can never be right.