What do you do for work that’s leaving you so tired?
The unfortunate truth about being a man is that we have that expectation to have the energy to do what we need to do at any given moment. As you get older, there’s less and less opportunities to decompress, you start to focus more and more on work, housework, errands, children when you have them, aging also demands more from your fitness, and you still need to put effort into your relationship if you don’t want it to deteriorate.
Not to sound bleak but you may need to work on learning to balance things better, if you’re job is wearing you out too much to the point you can’t do your hobbies after, it might be a good idea to switch jobs that might not be so demanding. Ultimately in the grand scheme of things, hobbies should come last, you can keep a small amount of time dedicated to them, I’m sure you can tell your partner “I’ll see you at X:00, There’s a game I’ve been wanting to play all week or a song I’m trying to learn and I’ll make it up to you on a date”
You can find hobbies you enjoy with her or work on feeling less awkward with her around. My now wife used to watch YouTube on my bed while I recorded songs, I’d only do it for like 30 minutes but just the company was enough, we took up painting together and would do that once a week.
I would file cut him out of my life and most likely file a police report. What else would he do to you in the future while you were sleeping because you won't let him while awake. Heck he could escalate to drugging you. This is a major red flag, and you need to get out.
If you stay, he has now learned that he can get away with it. Which means it is all downhill from here. You are in an abusive toxic relationship. Best for your baby to leave. Don't let them on-line in that.
Being a furry by itself is just having an interest in anthropomorphic animals. It's not a kink it's just a interest/community/hobby/etc. Now some furries DO have a kink for it, BUT being a furry by itself isn't a kink.
How I see it this is a situation where a friend told someone he trusted a very personal interest and was very hurt at the reaction. IT'S NOT the same as a being gay, trans or etc, but YOU SHOULD support your friends hobbies and interests as long as they're not harming anybody.
His friend isn't communicating the best way but he's hurt in the sense that he told his friend something VERY PERSONAL and got a very negative reaction (which is why he compared it to coming out even though they aren't a fully good comparison.) Just talk it out together, apologize and express empathy. While also standing your ground on how comparing being furry to being LGBT isn't a fully good comparison but you understand where he's coming from.
Thank you for the advice. My reasoning was I’ve been hit with a massive wave of depression, and we were discussing the possibility of separating and divorcing (which we’ve talked through and about and isn’t happening now), and the idea of us separating drove me further into depression and my mind just said, “I need to remove the things I don’t think about it further”.
If you don't leave, one day he'll kill you. You can't fix him, and the idea you have in your head doesn't exist. Victims who are choked during domestic violence once are 750% more likely to be murdered. Please get somewhere safe.
Glad I found this comment. Most of what I’ve read on this post are not even pro-choice, just pro-abortion. I don’t even have kids but from what I’ve seen, it’s not the end of one’s world to have a child.
Funny that the bf/dad shouldn’t have a say, but these folk are mostly trying to persuade this woman (a stranger) to abort when she’s clearly unsure about doing that.
Whatever decision is made though, it’s best to be firm in it. (Good luck, OP!)
So OP can act violent towards her BF, and his response is what is at fault.
Fuck off.
Maybe OPs BF is a creep, but that doesn’t mean OP is any better. Ffs this isn’t even the first time she has pretended to do something violent towards him, and he reacted the same way the first time.
So you cheated( At least emotionally) on your ex fiance and your friends cut you off because of it? Good on them for regonising the pit viper in their group. You're dating a loser who is also an AH, you sound like a perfect match that deserve eachother.
There was an episode of Oprah years ago where she was talking to white women who like to dye their hair blonde, with the highlights and all that jazz. All the women naturally have brown hair but dye it blonde. When asked why, the woman said because its more unique. Then the camera panned to behind all the women, and their hair looked almost identical.
Granted, its Oprah and I'm sure that it was very purposefully done but I thought it was hysterical at the time how they wanted uniqueness and individuality but were all the same.
I wish this was higher up, op if you want to fix things, this is the way to go, if she doesn't respect those boundaries though, then that should probably be it
Tell him that you understand he's going through a lot but you are not qualified to help him and his venting is causing you stress. That he should probably see a professional for his issues, and in the meantime you are taking a break from him for your own mental health.
I think it might be a good idea to re-think your relationship with your boyfriend. I think you have valid issues and given his attitude, I'm sure you could do better.
Yes told her all of that. Told her I see us growing old together, getting married, having babies together. Her main thing is she is having a very hot time growing or moving past the FWB stage.
You DO realize that he will expect all his future sons-in-law to come begging to him for permission to marry your daughters, don't you? Do you really want to put your future daughters in this position you're in now? What other gender-assigned roles will your fiancé be insistent about pushing onto your daughters? Your sons?
You and your fiancé are incompatible on a basic moral value: You are not the property of your father! Your daughters will not be HIS property!
I think it's more the fact that she did not tell me for 2.5 years. What am I supposed to do with this information? Why do you tell me at all if you decided to not tell me before? It only makes it weird for me.
Wtf did I just read.
Then end the relationship
What do you do for work that’s leaving you so tired?
The unfortunate truth about being a man is that we have that expectation to have the energy to do what we need to do at any given moment. As you get older, there’s less and less opportunities to decompress, you start to focus more and more on work, housework, errands, children when you have them, aging also demands more from your fitness, and you still need to put effort into your relationship if you don’t want it to deteriorate.
Not to sound bleak but you may need to work on learning to balance things better, if you’re job is wearing you out too much to the point you can’t do your hobbies after, it might be a good idea to switch jobs that might not be so demanding. Ultimately in the grand scheme of things, hobbies should come last, you can keep a small amount of time dedicated to them, I’m sure you can tell your partner “I’ll see you at X:00, There’s a game I’ve been wanting to play all week or a song I’m trying to learn and I’ll make it up to you on a date”
You can find hobbies you enjoy with her or work on feeling less awkward with her around. My now wife used to watch YouTube on my bed while I recorded songs, I’d only do it for like 30 minutes but just the company was enough, we took up painting together and would do that once a week.
I would file cut him out of my life and most likely file a police report. What else would he do to you in the future while you were sleeping because you won't let him while awake. Heck he could escalate to drugging you. This is a major red flag, and you need to get out.
If you stay, he has now learned that he can get away with it. Which means it is all downhill from here. You are in an abusive toxic relationship. Best for your baby to leave. Don't let them on-line in that.
Sorry, she cheated on you 🙁
Furry =/= Kink
Being a furry by itself is just having an interest in anthropomorphic animals. It's not a kink it's just a interest/community/hobby/etc. Now some furries DO have a kink for it, BUT being a furry by itself isn't a kink.
How I see it this is a situation where a friend told someone he trusted a very personal interest and was very hurt at the reaction. IT'S NOT the same as a being gay, trans or etc, but YOU SHOULD support your friends hobbies and interests as long as they're not harming anybody.
His friend isn't communicating the best way but he's hurt in the sense that he told his friend something VERY PERSONAL and got a very negative reaction (which is why he compared it to coming out even though they aren't a fully good comparison.) Just talk it out together, apologize and express empathy. While also standing your ground on how comparing being furry to being LGBT isn't a fully good comparison but you understand where he's coming from.
This has zero relationship to the positions I prefer in sex. It’s very weird that you think they are related.
I actually don't. It was my lame-ass attempt at a joke. Sorry.
Thank you for the advice. My reasoning was I’ve been hit with a massive wave of depression, and we were discussing the possibility of separating and divorcing (which we’ve talked through and about and isn’t happening now), and the idea of us separating drove me further into depression and my mind just said, “I need to remove the things I don’t think about it further”.
If you don't leave, one day he'll kill you. You can't fix him, and the idea you have in your head doesn't exist. Victims who are choked during domestic violence once are 750% more likely to be murdered. Please get somewhere safe.
Yeah, I agree, this wasn’t a baby trap, it was a test.
Glad I found this comment. Most of what I’ve read on this post are not even pro-choice, just pro-abortion. I don’t even have kids but from what I’ve seen, it’s not the end of one’s world to have a child.
Funny that the bf/dad shouldn’t have a say, but these folk are mostly trying to persuade this woman (a stranger) to abort when she’s clearly unsure about doing that.
Whatever decision is made though, it’s best to be firm in it. (Good luck, OP!)
You told her it isn’t the safest neighborhood. That does NOT mean there are people there with guns ready to pull them.
What exactly do you believe “not a safe neighborhood” means if not “risk of violence”?? It's NOT a SAFE neighborhood. Where's the confusion?
So OP can act violent towards her BF, and his response is what is at fault.
Fuck off.
Maybe OPs BF is a creep, but that doesn’t mean OP is any better. Ffs this isn’t even the first time she has pretended to do something violent towards him, and he reacted the same way the first time.
So you cheated( At least emotionally) on your ex fiance and your friends cut you off because of it? Good on them for regonising the pit viper in their group. You're dating a loser who is also an AH, you sound like a perfect match that deserve eachother.
Both me and my Warrior have different tastes—I exist almost solely on sugar, and he insists on eating disgustingly healthy food. We make it work.
Dump her dude, that's what you do.
You're 13 aren't you
There was an episode of Oprah years ago where she was talking to white women who like to dye their hair blonde, with the highlights and all that jazz. All the women naturally have brown hair but dye it blonde. When asked why, the woman said because its more unique. Then the camera panned to behind all the women, and their hair looked almost identical.
Granted, its Oprah and I'm sure that it was very purposefully done but I thought it was hysterical at the time how they wanted uniqueness and individuality but were all the same.
I wish this was higher up, op if you want to fix things, this is the way to go, if she doesn't respect those boundaries though, then that should probably be it
I know what would make you happy!
Not being in a relationship that drains you, makes you feel minimized and requires more work than you want to put into it.
If a relationship doesn't make you happy – if it doesn't make your life better – get out of tht relationship!
I don't necessarily think it was a direct comparison, more like a passing comment to justify her past experience.
Tell him that you understand he's going through a lot but you are not qualified to help him and his venting is causing you stress. That he should probably see a professional for his issues, and in the meantime you are taking a break from him for your own mental health.
I think it might be a good idea to re-think your relationship with your boyfriend. I think you have valid issues and given his attitude, I'm sure you could do better.
I would hope that the past three years of our relationship gives him some assurance
So to rephrase it bluntly: his “out” is more important to him than the relationship.
Yes told her all of that. Told her I see us growing old together, getting married, having babies together. Her main thing is she is having a very hot time growing or moving past the FWB stage.
You DO realize that he will expect all his future sons-in-law to come begging to him for permission to marry your daughters, don't you? Do you really want to put your future daughters in this position you're in now? What other gender-assigned roles will your fiancé be insistent about pushing onto your daughters? Your sons?
You and your fiancé are incompatible on a basic moral value: You are not the property of your father! Your daughters will not be HIS property!
I think it's more the fact that she did not tell me for 2.5 years. What am I supposed to do with this information? Why do you tell me at all if you decided to not tell me before? It only makes it weird for me.