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MASSIVE SQUIRT SHOT IN MOUTH [317 tokens remaining]
Date: February 8, 2023
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What does carpel tunnel have to do with being a counselor?
“our son is biologically ours, using my wife's frozen sperm”
We are doomed and done for.
We did couples therapy for a while, but honestly we both decided it wasn’t helping due to the therapist talking about themselves more than anything. He said he wanted to go to therapy himself, but where we live he’s on a long waiting list, and now I don’t know if he still wants to go or not, I haven’t asked.
I feel like he puts all our issues on me like it’s my fault for everything, and I’m so eager to please and keep him so I take it. Then I cry about it, and he does nothing to make me feel like it ISNT all my fault. We were so great up until we moved in together, now it’s like we’re falling apart.
reproductive and domestic labour is difficult; often as or more difficult than being employed as a wage labourer, and i can't speak to the difficulty faced by your wife and rest of your family but i imagine it's a more trying experience than you've relayed. ultimately when you get married you implicitly (and explicitly!) enter into a contractual arrangement that is designed to foster an interpersonal (read: romantic, economic, social, familial, political etc) relationship that has a lot of different dimensions that take time to make themselves feel felt.
if your story is true, you were clearly working harder than necessary. i support you quitting your job, it's not a decision to take lightly (and it's obviously come off the back of illegal employment practices and sustained overwork and underpay) so i'm sure that its mental and physical demands were great; and that's on top of the other commitments you make to your family in cooking, driving etc. but, as i'm sure you're aware, by forming a family you've placed yourself in a position of immense responsibility that can't so easily be abdicated.
you need to have a sincere talk with your wife that allows her to air her grievances and you to air yours, with no (or minimal) shouting or escalation or blame involved. at this point if your wife can't understand your perspective then it's because she's lost access to how you're genuinely feeling not only about your relationship, but life more broadly. i think it's a shame that you would both invoke divorce so immediately, but ultimately if you genuinely think it's for the best then that's your prerogative.
the advice of a twenty-something from divorced parents: talk with your wife and kids, find a new job that's less demanding, take a break from your relationship to focus on yourself. if you still love each other then instead of jumping at permanent separation taking a few months to reinvigorate your passions/hobbies/love and giving you time to contemplate your situation is by no means a bad compromise.
my mom brought up two kids practically on her own while working 70 hour+ weeks, i'm sure your wife can find the time to work even a couple of shifts a week, work isn't meant to be fulfilling or pay enough, that's why we fight!
You should go ahead & block her. Also? Better you find out who she is now.
Yeh so he will always side with his best friend. He says he will always pick her so why are you with him. He’s an idiot that obviously has feelings for her otherwise he’d cut her off.
There is no grey area here.
She nearly hit your daughter because of her own insecurities. Let me repeat it for the people on the back. SHE NEARLY HIT YOUR DAUGHTER. You realize if CPS or any child protection agency caught wind of something like this happening you would both probably lose custody of her so quickly your heads would spin.
I'm serious; I work in PEDS. I get at least a call a day from heartbroken mother's/father's who lost custody of their children and need help getting them back; often because they didn't report something the other parent/someone else in their life did to their child.
She. Needs. Help. Therapy or some professional help to work past her problems.
I would leave; to your families home, to a friend. Whether you tell them why or not, that's your choice.
“You nearly cause bodily harm to our child due to your own insecurities. I have NEVER done a single thing that warrants this kind of constant interrogation. I'm not even allowed to surprise you with anything without you twisting it to make it my fault and claiming it's my fault because I'm “lying”. Find a way to work on yourself and we'll be back. I can't risk her safety again.”
Honey, it is time to move on. As cringe worthy as that may sound, don't waste your life with someone who doesn't want to be intimate with you but does with porn. It is an addiction and you have proven you can't compete with that.
Get yourself together, make a plan and leave. Also, when he comes crying back and says he will stop watching porn, don't give him the time of day.
You gave him YEARS and he wasn't motivated enough to put you and your needs first. That will never change.
My last gf had a very close male friend. She did the same thing with disrespecting my boundaries. I caught them after 18 months.
Bruh if you're with a man and have to compete constantly with another woman then move on, this is not worth at all. There's plenty of men out there that would treat you like a goddess only having his eyes on you, he's not one of those men