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Molly, 18 y.o.
Location: your heart ^^
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Date: February 14, 2023
That's like saying a veteran wanting to skill a murder in a movie is troublesome, and complaining about how there are so many pro war movies.
It's understandable and normal for them.
Definitely. You deserve better!!!!
So, I have two suggestions when it comes to wooing your wife. The first is to commit to a course of treatment for your mental health. Go to therapy if it's accessible to you. Read books. Keep making positive strides towards your own health.
My second suggestion is to do more at home and with your children. She needs space– likely because your depression left her with no time or energy to do anything but keep the household and tiny humans going. Grant her space by doing more chores and more with the kids and figure out how to get some of the things lingering on the back of the to do list done. Grant her time and space to rest and remember who she is.
Then, give this whole thing time. It took 2 years to break this thing. It won't be set right in a matter of months. First you both need to see the changes you've made stick and trust you aren't going to slide back. Then, you'll have to build the friendship and intimacy back. It will take time. No one wants to share all their hopes and dreams and deepest feelings with someone who hasn't been their friend in 2 years and it's overwhelming to get all of that from them. Start smaller. Be kind. Talk about something good that happened today. And something you are proud of the family for.
He forgets which ones are exes, so that's impossible to answer.
The hard truth is that he’s going to retaliate no matter what because you’re leaving. Leaving is the most dangerous time in all abusive relationships, and I have no doubt in my mind he’s going to hurt/kill you to punish you for leaving or try to force you to stay. At this point, he can retaliate with the police aware and ready to act the moment he moves, or he can retaliate with you alone, vulnerable, and unprepared. Listen to the advice given to you here, listen to the police, and call a domestic abuse hotline and follow their instructions.