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she should be allowed to explore if she desires, since she is an adult now. OP said he gave her an ultimatum. seems like hes unwilling to compromise with recreational use whatsoever. OP can decide to compromise to keep her relationship or leave to avoid an argument. both r fine options but its like.. pick ur battle. its doesnt sound like bf will compromise any further w her abt it
People are allowed to have their own boundaries. Weed is a boundary for him. You’ve known that, and you continue to push it.
I will say that weed is a personal boundary for me. I have friends and family that smoke it, that’s fine. I don’t like the way it smells, I don’t want my house smelling like that, and I don’t want the smell sticking to my hair or clothing, and furniture.
Everyone is allowed to have their own opinion. He has his, just as I’m sure there are things you probably wouldn’t want him doing (dating others, etc.)
If you disagree and want to smoke, part ways with him.
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If you think he’s putting himself in clear & immediate danger, it’s reasonable to call (not text) a family member.
If you’re contacting the family to vent or commiserate or any other reason, then no. Absolutely not appropriate.
Don't fall for her crocodile tears and don't tolerate her bullshit behavior. This is vile and unacceptable.
I’m so sorry. That’s incredibly painful. If you reach out first, all he will know for sure is that you will forgive any cheating. I’m assuming that isn’t what you want. If he’s not showing any remorse it’s because he doesn’t have any. I’m so sorry.
Two things:
Speaking as a person who is old enough to know the other side. A good parent wants their kid to do better than them, they want the kid to succeed. By not going you are hurting them more than helping them. If they couldn't afford it they would let you know.
Go talk to a therapist about your being a burden to your parents as opposed to the source of joy and love you are.
I'm sorry, is this your girlfriend or your wife?
Cuz if she ain't your wife her opinion only counts if she's gonna go halfsies on the mortgage and downpayment with you.
Now, maybe this is a sign that she's looking at you for a serious longterm commitment. If you see her the same way this could…in a roundabout sort of way….be a good thing.
But you better be DAMN sure because if things don't work out this lovely new home of yours will end up belonging to her and her new boyfriend.
He’s dodging it because his parents are gonna want him to raise them religious
Gotta keep you insecure.
Can’t have you thinking you’re good enough for him!!
Based on this I think that you should really consider therapy so that you can unpack why you ever would have gone on a second date with this man to begin with.
Zero reason you should feel you're being unreasonable. In the future the minute a man doesn't respect your no you walk tf away.
I mean you’re talking about what normal behaviour is when you clearly don’t know what you’re talking about. But allow me to correct myself. When you did have a sex drive and were jerking off to photos of “more of your friends than you can remember,” you were acting super weird and desperately horny. Hope that’s better.
All he wanted was a virgin he could manipulate and teach his version of what he think good sex is, not what would be good sex for the both of you. And usually it’s either really bad sex where he’s a selfish lover or very degrading sex.
There’s no inbetween for men who specifically seek out virgins, while not being a virgin themselves. They couldn’t find someone who would put up with their idea of sex, so they go for a virgin, in the hope she has less experience and won’t question him or expect more.
Yeah now that I think about it wasn't the best approach but it is what it is it could've been way worse but either way, I have to move on.
This is helpful. I do find gender dynamics like this honestly stupid but I have no interest in upsetting anyone. People had a reaction when I moved in with my current roommate because moving in with a co-worker automatically means you're in a relationship? But it's not weird for me to move into a house with dudes already living there because I don't know them? Or is it because there's multiple? I don't know.
My work is mostly men so thanks for sharing the insight.