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Date: October 4, 2022
Look for evidence of an affair, you have a better idea of what you're looking for now. You're going to need to protect yourself in the divorce, gather every bit of info you can find and give it to your lawyer.
You're an idiot. Sorry bro but you fucked up.
People on this sub like to imagine clueless fathers and husbands (to be fair, there are a lot of them posting on here). So I'd recognize that bias and not let it bother you. There are a lot of posts on here that are either a woman wondering if she's crossed the line by wanting to be treated like a human, and a lot of posts by men wondering if they did the wrong thing when they watched their crying girlfriend crawl into the house after slipping. It skews the reaction to more typical posters' problems.
From your comments, it sounds like you're genuinely trying to help him learn, keeping the games fun, and you don't sound like a control freak.
I think you might need to start talking to other people in her life to see if they're noticing anything off with her, too. Because if we're going to rule out the idea that she's not comfortable telling you to back off the challenging play, then it seems like it's more likely to be either her wanting to be the “fun” parent when it comes to chess, or something is wrong with her.
Learn to solve your problems in a constructive manner or break up.
Yes he can I just don’t want to be on FaceTime while he’s out around other people while I’m at home having this happen
the cats are out of the bag. i wouldn’t stayed with her. she will only resent you later anyway.
She’s already running, lying and making excuses. It needed to start with her you save anything. She’s avoiding responsibility.
She even was willing to risk the marriage and children for a fling.
You don’t really know why she did it and therefore can’t really be even remotely certain it won’t happen again.
I would ring a lawyer for a consultation and then sit him down calmly.
' I would like you to go upstairs and pack a bag and leave yo your brothers or where ever.. I know you have cheated on me many times I over heard your phone call to your brother bragging how many times you have done it like it some achievement, I don't care to hear your excuses or lies, I can just about look at you without feeling disgust, so I want you out of the house as we are done.. we can work out visitations for the kids once things have calmed down.'
If he refuses to leave then back yourself and kids up and leave until divorce is done.
What a low life… and if he brother is married I'd speak to his partner as he must also be doing the same if your stbxh is so comfortable talking to him about it.
Google “projection”.
Definitely the right call, controlling and wanting to isolate you, don't EVER allow that to happen with ANYONE, it happened to me when I was much younger and super naive, it was a gradual thing so being young and naive I never saw it happening but it did and I'm lucky I finally got out. Good for you for seeing it while it was happening.