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missblaire chat
Date: September 22, 2022
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I’m so sorry OP. That’s the worst betrayal anyone can endure. I’m so so so sorry. It’s going to hurt like hell for awhile. Took me 2 months just to breathe normal after my bf ended things with me. I can’t imagine how much pain you’re in. But you will be better. Just put one foot in front of the other one day at a time. Take of yourself.
I got to meet my father when I was 7 in 1987 and by that time the damage was done. I never did really connect with my dad and siblings on that side of my family. I’m glad you have a good relationship with your dad and his family.
I’ll probably get flack for this but it’s my opinion and so I’ll share it. There are very few instances of male and female friendships that are appropriate while in a monogamous relationship that you want to see last. For it to work the friendship has to be 100% platonic, and always have been, never having been anything but that. Ever. The friend has to “know their place” which is never before your partner, ever. They need to put effort into knowing your partner, and becoming their friend.
Personally I’ve never been a fan of dating men who have a lot of girlfriends. I dated some who had a few girlfriends, but they were very friendly and put effort to know me, and were genuine in that excitement of my boyfriend having me in their life. Most of the time when I’ve dated, the girlfriends my boyfriend did have fairly quickly faded away. I never had to argue or fight for that. It just naturally happened. In this case it seems there’s zero respect between them, and you need to choose. I don’t see it working out to keep them both.
Yeah. We had a male stripper at a bachelorette party I was at once and my bf thought it was hysterical. I was not turned on at all.
Some people here have very prudish attitudes towards this. By 40, most people know what a very hot person of the opposite sex looks like and it’s not the most thrilling experience of their lives that everyone assumes it must be.
Total agreement if OP finds that it’s intriguing and can get comfortable with it. the fun of wrestling for me was having a test of strength with a guy (my guy!) who has all of my trust. We have our safe words and “stop” is also a good enough safe word, but it is also fun for him to pick me up (when I consent! + am having fun; which is also an important and separate consideration) and give me a safe toss, and I like surprising him that I am stronger than I look! My pup is a good referee who wants to jump in and defend his mama by shaking his butt or just inserting himself between us, which helps
BUT
If it’s not fun play for you? It doesn’t have to be. My favorite thing about my partner (beyond the lust and trust) is that he is my favorite playmate. And we make sure to play games that we BOTH like to play. There are games other than “I want to wrestle and maybe get a little horny and also be like, I have muscles!”
The most important question always is if you feel safe and your partner is listening and not crossing a physical boundary. All up to OP!
If she's hellbent on moving and that's just never going to be an option for you this is a waste of both your time. People have to do what's best for their individual situations and if those goals don't match then you and she aren't a match.
Stop trying to change other people and focus on actions that you can take directly.
It is for you and your boyfriend to engage with your parents over dinner. You can think of things they have in common and open conversational gambits. Also, your boyfriend should be making an effort – he is the guest. You can't force him but it is certainly appropriate for you to talk with him about how to engage with your folks.
When your parents ask him a question, he should answer and then respond in a way that moves the conversation forward. It is a conversation, not an interview.
Also, you are probably worrying far too much about this. Your parents are inviting your boyfriend to dinner. That is really nice. They don't have to become close or even friendly, it is just nice for them to get along.
Lastly, you mention that your parents were more engaging with previous boyfriends. They may have reached a point where they don't want to invest a lot of time with additional boyfriends or there may be something about this one that they don't really like.
Separate