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Room for on-line sex video chat goddessrubyy
Model from:
Languages: en
Birth Date: 1998-11-12
Body Type: bodyTypeCurvy
Ethnicity: ethnicityMixed
Hair color: hairColorOther
Eyes color: eyeColorGreen
Subculture: subcultureHousewives
Date: October 7, 2022
I’m definitely not sticking up for this guy because he sounds like a manipulative loser, but age gaps aren’t that big of a deal once you’re an adult. My mother and step father are 12 years apart. They’ve been going strong for almost 15 years. When she started seeing him it was the first time I ever remember her being happy. I think the lying/gas lighting/manipulative behavior are the big red flags here
From someone who has ADD and was put on medication – 40-50mg Vyvanse, which is the medium-high dose, this was 100% me.
I lost interest in people because I wanted to DO things – chores, studying, hobbies, etc that felt important to me at the time. Doing things with people felt like it was tearing me away from what had to be done and when I WAS doing stuff with them (ex. having dinner) I would feel so irritable because I just wanted to get back to the other stuff. It was almost a painful feeling. It's what the meds often do, they hyperfocus you. They can make you hella irritable. They can make you robotic and lose empathy. They can make you detached from others and not even realize it. They can give you wicked mood swings since their half lives are so short. They may very much help you with focus and motivation – I got more done in the year I was on them than in my entire life. But I lost myself and by the end of the year my self esteem was incredibly low, I was having major mood swings and I was thinking dark thoughts. I got off them.
Medication affects everyone differently. It sounds like his dose is too high – even if it helps him focus, the lack of appetite, mood changes, irritability, those are all side effects indicating he should lower his dose. This may not be the right medication for him, either – there are lots of other ADHD meds to try. Vyvanse never fully worked for me, even on small doses it made me feel hyperfocused and detached.
I'd recommend talking with him and rather than accusations or ultimatums, ask him how he's feeling about the stimulants, if he's noticed changes in mood, if he feels irritable towards you and the kids, if he feels he could go a few days without them. Have you helped him feel supported? New meds are a scary journey and maybe he doesn't feel confident sharing the side effects with you because he's feeling a bit of relief from his ADHD symptoms and isn't sure how to feel, or feels embarassed and shameful with his irritability, avoidance, etc. He might finally feel like he has focus or motivation and is scared of going back to before. He may not know that he does NOT have to endure these new side effects forever at the cost of focus. There are other ones to try and different doses/timing.
Also – make sure you know what your ultimate goal when talking to him is. Do you want him to “be like he was before”? That might not be something he can control, and what should be important is that he keeps treating you with love and respect. Do you want him to acknowledge his mood changes? He may already know that they exist and just not feel comfortable talking about them. Or do you just want to feel loved and supported? This one is the most important and you have every right to tell him what you need and set your boundaries. Your daughter included.
As another poster said, stimulant abuse is possible, but unless he's getting more from his doctor or off the street, it sounds like the dose is just too high or the med is wrong for him (since so many people feel these exact symptoms). Tell him what you need and if he won't make an effort, on meds or not, that's a reflection of his respect for you and how he ultimately feels.
Even if these meds made him feel amazing and he was blind to all side effects, if someone he loves and cares about and respects is telling him they're hurting, he should ask what he can do to help support you. If he doesn't do that, that's not a good sign.
nothing wrong with a casual relationship where someone treats you great. but when you want a commitment , and dont ask for it, and become resentful when you dont get it, then you are the toxic one
It's great that you're aware of flaws you have; acknowledging things you have to change is a very important first step.
Regarding her feeling unwanted, does she ask for reassurance at all? And if she does, how well do you do at reassuring her?
Can you also explain how you feel lacking in being open or listening?
Is it strange that she never brought up being SA’d? Yes, but let’s not pretend it’s uncommon for women to not talk about SA situations due to society’s view of us. We don’t really know the situation or the circumstances. I’m not saying she 100% was SA’d and she’s an angel, but you can’t ignore the possibility. She most likely cheated.
NO! No no no! She has absolutely nothing to apologize for! He enjoyed it while it was happening but afterwards his guilt got to him and he blamed her. Eww. No. Boundaries are fine, blaming and shaming are NOT.
He’s literally told you he’s depressed so therapy seems like the answer here