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Date: October 10, 2022
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Terrible advice. I'd get tested and tell him to fuck off. Maybe talk about it with people that also know him. Probably not the only one he's doing/done this tactic too. Boyo wants attention and to boast his ego. Doesn't see her as a person with genuine feelings. Although OP is very vague and is seemingly being dense they absolutely should NOT be fwb with this asshat. I wouldnt say they have the communication skills to have a fwb at all, let alone what this guy actually is doing.
Have you ever sat him down and told him how annoying and p**** drying his behavior is?
Like if somebody acted like that with me I would decide that they are way too immature to have sex….
You are 22, and this man is not clearly communicating with you. Under no circumstances should you skip nursing school to move in with him. Please go to nursing school. Prioritize yourself and your future.
Have the game night, don’t invite her. If people ask tell them, she is the one crossing boundaries and making people uncomfortable.
Nah, you don’t need to fix anything. She does.
You tried to get her exactly what she wanted, but she changed her mind which resulted in a delay. That’s on her, not you.
You then took her out to dinner, got her flowers & a card, and she claims you didn’t have anything for her?!
Your GF is being unfair here. I can understand her disappointment but the fact she didn’t get the book bouquet is on her.
I’d call her on it.
You're hurting your girl every time you have sex? If it wasn't a problem before, start using lube. Birth control literally turns us into the Sahara desert down there.
Birth control is a difficult adjustment. Suddenly, your body just doesn't work. It's frustrating. Even if she genuinely wants sex, the birth control won't let her body respond. At least with erectile dysfunction, a man can still get aroused. Hormonal birth control even takes that away from us. I could be trying everything in the book to arouse myself and the birth control will not allow it to happen.
Invest in lube and toys. And remember: as frustrated as you are, she's even more frustrated. I guarantee you she misses the way she felt before both control.
I am very very sorry to hear that. That stance has always frustrated me. How exactly do you view something as a “sin”, but don't think any less of someone for doing said “sin”? I know a few Christians who have that opinion too, and I know equally as many that no longer view it as a sin, but a misinterpretation of scripture, which is what I believe as well. (I don't necessarily see myself as a very religious person, but I do have an interest in theology and was brought up with it, hence the opinion).
If you can still be friends with her than all power to you. Maybe you can help her see the light? If not, I totally understand.
That really sucks. 🙁
Reach
I agree that this is something I am asking about because we are not on equal footing. I would love it if he would just intuit everything that needs to be done. But his standards are different than mine, and what I find infuriating, he doesn't even notice. I wish I could say that he magically takes notice of stuff, but…he doesn't. So I'm hoping that if there are visual cues, it might help him see things, notice, and perhaps be more accountable over time.
ok but sometimes nature happens… and we even gone to adams and eve before to get herrr a butterfly vibrator when I don't even have anything but a hand…
no, he probably just had a quick crush on her. You really think hes got a shot to start chatting with her on the phone, when she clearly saw you guys were together?
It's your life, your livelihood – there is no overreacting when someone wants to hold you back
You're being downvoted but honestly, CPS/DCFS needs to be involved because she is not a safe placement for these children. I'm sorry, but being a victim does not give you a pass to put your multiple kids in harm's way — in fact, you are liable if you know abuse is occurring and do not leave. Which had to, based on her timelines, be the case at multiple points. If she cannot put her kids safety above herself then she is not a fit parent. I know people think that's “mean” for her to potentially read. Imagine being one of the kids and knowing mommy didn't give a shit!
No, I did not change my stance. I still think that she lied by omission to preserve their relationship. And I see blatantly lying on a different spectrum to lying by omission. First of all, an omission doesn''t happen if the situation doesn't allow it. As in, when the subject is brought up, the truth comes out. Now, if the subject is brought up and it results in a lie then that's infinitely worse. When the subject was brought up in OP's case, she admitted to it. She could've said that his brother is a lying POS and he's drunk and he doesn't know what he's talking about. And OP would've probably believed her just because his brother is who he is. But she admitted to it right away, which tells a lot about her. I think she has lived with this cloud over her head all this time, waiting for the rain to drop
No, I did not change my stance. I still think that she lied by omission to preserve their relationship. And I see blatantly lying on a different spectrum to lying by omission. First of all, an omission doesn''t happen if the situation doesn't allow it. As in, when the subject is brought up, the truth comes out. Now, if the subject is brought up and it results in a lie then that's infinitely worse. When the subject was brought up in OP's case, she admitted to it. She could've said that his brother is a lying POS and he's drunk and he doesn't know what he's talking about. And OP would've probably believed her just because his brother is who he is. But she admitted to it right away, which tells a lot about her. I think she has lived with this cloud over her head all this time, waiting for the rain to drop
Unless it's with somebody you're already strongly committed to, like a spouse going to work abroad because of money concerns, don't go into long distance relationships. They very rarely work and are problematic for a plethora of reasons.
Also, maybe it sounds brutal but his sexual issues are not entirely your problem. Especially if it's someone you're talking to live! for a couple of months and probably spent like 2-3 weeks in total in real life. I understand the need for company trust me I've been there, but an LDR is never a solution.