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PurpleCats, 20 y.o.
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Date: October 16, 2022
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He is the one that doesn’t sound ready. His anger and manipulative behaviour are pretty concerning and if I were him I would want to get that in check.
While your insecurities are a big challenge, at least you acknowledge them and are working on them. Once you have explained this it is his job to decide if he wants to work with you to improve, which isn’t done by being angry and just silencing you so you bottle it up. Where is the love and compassion? Now, I also think it would be fair for him to step away from the relationship while you are dealing with the insecurities… but that’s not what he is doing, he is making it more difficult for you to work through things.
Let me guess, all these fights you have are him having angry out bursts?
The man walked away so quickly that neither of us had a chance to get a word in after the fact and I don’t think either of us wanted to escalate the situation by going after him. She noticed I was thrown off and we did have a chat on it afterwards where she said she appreciated me not getting aggressive and basically we shared a laugh about what an a-hole the guy was.
It was all healthy between us, but I can’t help but feel like I should’ve said something different.
Just tell him the truth. That you saw his text and that he is an ungrateful c*nt
Just a thought for future reference, if you have to avoid stuff like this in the relationship and you are looking for marriage, you should probably just get out.
I'm a libertarian and my wife is a member of the CCP, however, when you get down to the moral issues and the actual substance of issues, we see pretty much eye to eye on most things so we are not stepping on eggshells all day every day. No way we could have a functional relationship if we were not actually accepting of the other's ideas. There's also a difference between being a member of something and a true believer with views that cannot be reasoned with. It sounds like your ex is a true believer in what she believes while you were on the other side of things.
Just imagine raising children with someone that you cannot trust in that way, suddenly the children could become a battleground which I would imagine is an absolutely horrible thing to do when raising a child.
My husband is going through a mental health issue as well. And asked to separate. People who deal with depression often blame others for their unhappiness. I’m sorry you are going through this as it’s so painful but you are young and will bounce back. I promise.
Edited. Noted it afterwards.