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Max, 22 y.o.
Location: Poland
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Date: October 17, 2022
Hey Redditors, Anyone want to chip in and send $20 a piece to help out OP??? We would need 17 ppl to cover her so she can actually enjoy the holidays with the fam… please respond. If I get 17 responses, I’ll start sending the money to her…
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To have such expectations of others but not of yourself.
I have high expectations for myself (both in the context of a relationship and otherwise), which is why I'm asking this question. Also it may not have come across in the post, but I have put a lot of time, thought, and care into this person's wellbeing regardless of what our romantic position was…. there's a reason she wants to move forward.
At the heart of this all is that I believe “iron sharpens iron” She has a lot of ideas, but does not take action (e.g. wants to develop a close friend group / host a board game night, but is afraid of rejection so decided that she won't invite anyone). I think having a significant other that is also action-oriented would drive us both to pursue goals, set a good example for kids, etc. Maybe I'm answering my own question here in terms of what I want in a partner.
But I also realize this isn't necessary for a good relationship. Maybe that's what I'm more hung up on.
31f here. I set an age range down in the low 20s before just to increase matches, but every 20yo I’ve matched with comes across as extremely immature from the very first message. It’s exhausting when you feel like you’re dealing with a child. That’s just my experience though.
All these women commenting about the dude being a creep is just stupid. If it was a 30F and 22M, they'd be telling her it's fine, he's mature.
32M guy here – sometimes you're just attracted to someone regardless of the age. If he treats you well and continues to do so, then what's the problem? It's only been a month so you've got a lot more to go but perhaps you two get along. And that's all that matters
He comes back often and I feel for him, when I know I shouldn’t play his therapist
Yeah definitely superficial. Money and job do not equal intelligence. They also don’t equal peoples personalities. Is he kind? Does he support you? Does he keep a job? Does he share values with you? Do y’all communicate well? Those are better questions. My husband has a GED and works as a baker making $17. He loves his job. I make over double that as a healthcare data analyst. But we have great conversations. He was the one who supported me through school. Tons of other great qualities. Today our dog was sore and didn’t want to get up to eat, you know what my husband did? He hand fed him. You need to decide what you want. Don’t listen to your friends. Also if you decide to stay with him, you better never look down on him.
At this point, I do not know what to do. I am very non-confrontational so the thought of asking her what the issue is makes me feel very uneasy.
You do know what to do, you just don't want to do it.
If you're not up for asking your best friend what the issue is and why she has suddenly started distancing herself from you, things will likely only carry on in the wrong direction and you will never know why.
Given just how much she has seemingly changed the way she acts towards you lately, it honestly doesn't sound like it has anything to do with the 70$ you lent her in November. If you want to know what is going on and hopefully work things out, just tell you've noticed x y z changes over the past couple of months and ask why.