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Olga., 45 y.o.
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Date: October 17, 2022
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Oh hell no, do not do that, that's incredibly transactional.
Tell her know and that it makes it app ear that she is only interested in you financially.
I would definitely break up. If an adult, your bf, does not know how to face relationship problems any other way than running to mama, then don't build a life with him. It will be a pattern where any hiccup will be resolved with mum who will happily interfere. Should you have kids, she will be part of the decisions. Not worth it. Pay off your debt, close that chapter of your life, including him.
Good point. Thank you 🙂
Don’t even need to ask guys. As I girl, if I kissed another guy it doesn’t matter how long. It is cheating. Don’t let her lie to you, it was cheating.
Considering you say your GF is more the type to avoid and let go of pretty offensive things, this is a sign your dad crossed a MAJOR line in some way. However, the line could be something you can't really fight for.
An example: I didn't like my ex's father- he insisted on giving me the talk on contraception, stating that if I were to fall pregnant, I would have little choice is what I chose to do as he would be the potential grandfather to said child. I was humiliated, repulsed by him and lost any respect. My ex and his mother went through him for it and although my ex rightfully took my side, it actually really wasn't something my ex could fix or do about.
Point is, it is possible that your father said something so demeaning or dehumanising about her, your relationship or even you that is irreparable. In-laws can be repulsive in ways that really affect your partner and whilst you may take their side, there is little you can do to help the situation. Sometimes it's merely an opinion that just completely alters your view on a person, and you can't “solve” that problem once it's out there; you have to live! with it.
However, I would disagree you should be kept in the dark. t's not a right of yours to know but it, after all, will affect you – inevitably it'll affect all encounters you have with both of them in the same room. She might be worried you want to fix it, even if there's nothing to fix and what's done is done. You should explain that you want to understand the situation, and that you WILL listen to her wishes on how to respond to it. It could be her battle, not for you to handle or fight for. This is a thing which is about your relationship, and so really need to be out in the open so you guys can be a team, even if it means merely supporting from the sidelines.
This. OP is describing exactly what happens with sloppy iv injections to shoot up..
OP.. I think he's on heroin. Unexplained blood everywhere is not normal. If you know its not from you and he can't or won't explain, this would be a big red flag that he is shooting up. Even if you don't see tract marks. Addicts get very good at using small veins in their feet and, legs and hands. You barely notice them.
I asked him why and he didn't really give me an answer, it was something along the lines of “just cause”… You're right though, I think not listening is a bit of a red flag.