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  1. Went through a similar scenario but different age 30.

    But my sister’s overseas wedding was coming up.

    My dad was texting me and the other woman and accidentally text messaged some love text. I confronted him about it because I thought it was coworker. I was wrong it was a lady from church.

    So I had to tell my sister because I didn’t want to ruin her wedding on what she wanted. She said to hold off telling my mom.

    I told my mom after the wedding when I went to pick her up from work.

    My mom suspected something.

    So my mom was going to hire a PI to get evidence but the private investigator said we might/might not catch him.

    So my got a divorce lawyer and we moved out right before my mom confronted my dad as a family.

    My dad wasn’t sorry… he was sorry he got caught.

    My mom forgave him and took him back.

    It was very stressful

    *don’t blame yourself for your dad’s wrongdoing. Talk to your mom *

    My mom did so much for my dad she would always spent her money on him. She paid for a trip back home.

    While we were on that vacation I overheard my dad talking to some next chick on the phone.

    I was really stressed. So was my mom.

    My mom passed away on 2019 even though my dad was awful to her when she was healthy he was really there for when she got sick. He did the laundry, made dinner, and took care of my mom going to the bathroom.

    My dad obviously regretted the way he treated my mom and now he’s lonely. He never got back with that lady.

  2. No you know you can't talk to her about this..

    Trust but verify.. Look at her phone, etc and get to the bottom of this yourself.

  3. A real apology requires caring about the person you're apologizing to. If their feelings are irrelevant then it's just empty words.

  4. I’ve paid for everything. I may be getting it back next week and she’s supposed to be in town the week after. I plan on parking it at a friend’s house so she won’t destroy it.

  5. You know, if you say it kindly, he will probably feel a bit disappointed, but not “like garbage”. If he overreacts about how AWFUL this is for him, he is being manipulative, it's not that you are actually making him feel like that. It's normal to communicate to your SO, nicely, that you won't do a thing/don't like something and it's normal for the SO to feel a bit bad about it, then let it go. If the SO blows this up as some terrible unjust act against them, it's not a You Problem or even a Bad B-day Idea Problem…

    Also if he is so upset that he doesn't want to plan anythng ever, he's just weaponizing this to punish you and lower expectations for the future. Which is bad behavior on his part, and not your fault.

    The reaction you fear is an unhealthy, manipulative reaction – is what I'm trying to say. So if he's a good guy who treats you right, and is a not-toxic partner, then you don't need to worry about that stuff at all. He's gonna be disappointed, sure, but he'll get over it and take care of his own feelings around it.

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