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69ME FOR LUSH CONTROL , ⌛/ Current goal: Domi + creampie/ Fill me today with your naked load pls ✨ [33 tokens remaining]
Date: September 24, 2022
Actors: A n i e R o u s e
I think it’s weird that he wants to control what you put into your body but I don’t think the boundary itself it weird as long as you agree to it willingly. If you feel pressured and like you’re not allowed to make your own choices for yourself, then this isn’t the guy for you.
My dude, never tell any girl you had to hit the gym because you wanted to pick her up. That's just unnecessarily mean regardless of the reason and will just reinforce the insecurities you know she already has. Why is this even a question for you? If she asks, just tell her she's a little lady or some shit.
mad. He apologizes and we continue like normal,
Run
how can you love your partner and not love their child? the kid is literally part of your partner!
I decided to just find safe havens to study . It use to make me sad about family but I say I don't blame my parents because I know they did the best they could. The more I try to fix it the more I realize that I can't and if it continues any longer then idk what to do.. I don't get the silent treatments and I'm having to be the mediator for someone elses stress. But as time goes on my mental health isn't quite the best rn , it's like a rollercoaster. I try to understand why it happens but i don't think I ever will know. I'm just becoming numb and just wanting to move on but again the backlash..If I try to ignore them..there is backlash and If I try to be friendly..there is backlash
It sounds like you might benefit from a much more nuanced and deeper conversation with him to see whether his feelings towards gay marriage are more reflective of a difference in values or in your upbringings.
It sounds like you can generally talk openly about cultural differences, but here he might want to put a stop to the discussion as a nude boundary: let’s agree to disagree and not talk about it further.
What lies at the bottom of this disagreement? Religious dogma? A specific traumatic experience or relationship? Something their own parents said to them? A rigid vision of what type of family he wants in future? Unexplored homophobia that goes beyond the gay marriage question? Unfamiliarity (never having met a gay couple)? The opposite (having met only toxic gay couples)? A desire to bully an out-group but recognizing there a limits to how far he can do so in a way that is socially acceptable?
He might not know or care himself about where his attitude comes from. As you suggest, his opinion is probably culturally normal for his country, as it was in the US 30 years ago. So you might be the one holding the socially unacceptable opinion from his perspective – one that would result in both of you being seen as degenerate if you were to be open about it in his home country or culture.
Cultural differences of what you have learned is safe/acceptable and unsafe/unacceptable to advocate for in your family and community can be bridged in a safe conversation where you both trust the other will not ever reveal each other’s doubts to outsiders. However, this means that you might paradoxically end up in the position of not being able to tell your own friends he is secretly not actually homophobic as he pretends to be for cultural reasons. Similarly he might feel he has to pretend you are secretly homophobic in order to ensure you are accepted by his family. So this whole conversation can be dangerous territory for his social identity.
The safest way to broach and explore this subject further may be to talk about this further in terms of hypothetical children. How they would be taught about sexuality of themselves and others. How they would be protected from homophobes in or out of your families if they were to be gay. Which relationships would or would not be sanctioned (Could they have a gay life partner fully accepted in the family even if they were never married? Would they be cut off if they did get married?). What homophobic behavior would or would not be sanctioned in your hypothetical children? Would it be treated as seriously a concern as racism or sexism?
But the deeper question is not what boundaries you decide on, but why you decide on them. Is the key issue what enables the child to get by successfully in a somewhat homophobic society, or is it what ensures the child fits in to predetermined expectations of sexual behavior? Will agreed boundaries be based on feelings of wanting the child to thrive regardless of their sexuality or of wanting to protect an idea of honor or perpetuate particular cycles of shame?
The ability to have such a nuanced conversation might in itself strengthen and deepen your relationship – or it might reveal fissures that you had previously missed but deserve more consideration before you both make lifelong promises you can’t keep.
Yeah, this doesn't have to be your business. You can just ignore it and let them do whatever they want. The alternative is playing detective and either finding an answer you don't want or at best finding out nothing is happening.
He has been jealous and angry sometimes about men stepping over boundaries but not like this
Well you’re certainly bribing a lot to this thread that wasn’t actually stated by OP, but ok.
As someone who was scared of the surgery for years and finally got circumcised last year, I lost no noticeable sensitivity during sex. Most people don’t lose sensitivity as per my urologist, it’s just that the people who don’t lose sensitivity don’t talk about it on Reddit as much as those who do.
I'm pretty sure that was 30 seconds not minutes….
I feel like an abuser.
You threw a bottle at and then tried to hit someone who was driving. You are.
Do you think his reaction is fine?
No, anyone who does what you did could do it again. He should run before he actually gets hurt.
Talk to her. Ask her what's up.