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Adri, 25 y.o.
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Date: October 18, 2022
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While they are hosting yes, Everyone is pitching in with food and I've already helped them with some decorations out of my pocket and putting them up. Again, I don't mind about the money for the decorations or food because that's not the point, decorations and food are helping to create a fun and family friendly environment so idc to put my money there. My problem is the value/morals that are put into the gift itself. It's not about giving a gift as a nice gesture, it's sending a message of “you have to buy something that's worth my time.”
I've never been a big spender on Xmas cuz I don't see it as a day to go out and spend $60+ on someone for what I've already said. I don't mind spending that much on someone, I do for peoples birthdays because that's their special day, I wanna make you feel great and it's your day. Xmas on the other hand imo isn't about the gifts and more the time to be together. Her family is putting a huge emphasis on the gifts though.
Has she ever faked it?
May your final days be peaceful and full of love from your family.
I'm sorry that you had bad experiences with older men when you were a teenager but I suspect this is quite a different situation.
The girl is 23yo. She is definitely not a teenager. And what is this about tracking Alan down and telling him about her interactions with his father. It does sound like a scam but not on you, its one where the Father is being blackmailed. I don't know that a wikipedia page about a 70yo man is the pussy magnet you might think it is and the power dynamic is probably the reverse of what you think it is.
As for a 70yo guy jerking it to a 23yo woman. Society considers women in their twenties to be in the prime. Just because someone turns 70yo it doesnt mean that women at 20yo, or thirty, or even old stop being attractive. Did he try to form a relationship with her? No, of course not. He probably interacted with her posts and was directed to her OF and, one way or another, paid her money. There was likely zero preying on her.
As for cheating? The older you will get the more you will learn that people have all sorts of strange relationships. The relationships can get stranger as they get older. There are plenty of older couples that have relationships which are sexless, or open or polyamourous or have a “don't ask, don't tell” aspect to them. Don't assume he is having an affair. Don't assume Alan's mother doesn't know or suspect.
Does that cast anything in a different light?
You’re not going to fix that. You’re not going to fix anything.
Continue on.
Just be there for her whenever she needs you.
I would send him a message “I'm really not comfortable talking about (wife) behind her back but I can tell you that I ended our friendship because of moral differences. Unfortunately, your suspicions are well founded. I'm sorry and I wish you the best”. (Telling him without telling him.)
That was one way to go.
For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction.
Your move.
just because he said that doesn’t mean it’s true……..like i said be careful with your heart!
Honestly hes amazing! He understands my thoughts and assures me its okay and to take my time, he has of course said he would like a BJ when the time comes. If I ever get uncomfortable or cry if i attempt one he will fully stop and just cuddle me and calm me down and we just cut off any sexual activity in that monent.
His behavior is definitely concerning. You made a clear boundary with your private social media account, and he WENT LOOKING for a way to violate that boundary. Even if he was ignorant of his own behaviour, he's still showing toxic behaviour. Sure, you could have been more vocal with your boundaries, but there was no guarantee that would even help anything. I believe you did the right thing. Move on with your life and find someone who respects your discretions. If you feel lonely, surround yourself with friends you feel comfortable around, or keep your mind and body busy with an activity or hobby. You're young, you'll find other, more enjoyable relationships.