Is the compliments and pictures the only thing you're missing in the relationship? Or do you overall feel like you're unimportant / unattractive to your partner?
I'd say first sit down with yourself and figure out what's bothering you underneath all of this. For me I feel un-special sometimes, or like I give more than I get back and so I feel inferior to my partner.
Culture has programmed men to associate penis size with sexual prowess. Women see and experience penises during sex, and thus understand that size ≠ good sex (just like a tight pussy or whatever ≠ good sex), but rather how it is used and a lot of other factors are what add up to good sex. But straight men do not see or experience other men’s penises, the only representation of other dicks we see is in porn, where the penises are usually much bigger than average. So what we see is guys with huge dicks sending women into convulsive passion, and even though we know it is “fake,” the association between horse cocks and sexual prowess sticks.
Dudes reinforce this amongst each other as well. Guys make fun of each other over penis size, call each other “pencil dick” and shit, describe less masculine men as having small dicks. We perpetuate this ourselves and bear some of the blame.
Women themselves perpetuate this as well. Every guy has heard a woman belittle an ex as having a little dick. Live, women talk about masculine men as having “big dick energy.” The inverse, “little dick energy” is obviously not good.
So, when you discuss an ex’s larger penis with your partner, you are competing with everything he has heard and seen about penises his entire life that is telling him that smaller = lesser. “Big ones hurt, yours doesn’t” is not helpful. “Yours feels better though” sounds like a lie.
I’m personally decently north of average, and I would get weird if my partner discussed an ex’s larger penis. I know that women like what I do with it, been with dozens of partners, and would personally have a hot time with your statement. Idk your boyfriends sexual history, but it takes a lot of positive reinforcement from partners for most average dudes to feel comfortable with their size.
So there’s that. Honestly, moving forward there’s nothing you can really do or say to address what was said. All you can really do is show your appreciation for his penis moving forward. He’s gonna have a complex for a little while. Just is what it is.
And to the people that go “that’s just his own insecurities”… yeah, so? In a relationship, you probably know your partner’s soft spots. If you poke the soft spots, that’s just mean. You protect and reassure your partner where they’re weakest, not tell them to get the fuck over it. Everyone has insecurities lol
Sincere question – if it is not that hard then why are you not doing it? When you love someone you want to see them happy, you want to do things that would make them happy, because seeing them happy is just the best. If she is the person you supposedly love the most, and you say planning something that would make her happy is easy, then why haven't you been doing it?
Oh fuck off. His children are not having their best interests served, but it’s fine for them to be around 100 cops all the time and for a son to learn to beat his wife and a daughter to learn that she should stay complacent when beaten ??
You’re not really getting my point, everything you say you do is about her. Women don’t want someone who is just going to worship them and serve them all day long. That’s simply not attractive. Women want someone who is interesting, who has goals and ambitions, who has hobbies, who has a life of their own, who is strong mentally and physically, who can make it on their own. What do you have on your own that will make a women want to be with you?
He cheated on you. Leave him. Period.
Is the compliments and pictures the only thing you're missing in the relationship? Or do you overall feel like you're unimportant / unattractive to your partner?
I'd say first sit down with yourself and figure out what's bothering you underneath all of this. For me I feel un-special sometimes, or like I give more than I get back and so I feel inferior to my partner.
I will say it again. This is NOT a “friend”.
Friends do NOT behave this way towards each other.
I understand you like to use the word because of all the emotional energy
it bespeaks, but you are kidding yourself.
Frankly I would not maintain a relationship with anyone with whom I
did not have reciprocal best wishes and encouragement with.
transition your kid into another bedroom.
Only true option here.
Culture has programmed men to associate penis size with sexual prowess. Women see and experience penises during sex, and thus understand that size ≠ good sex (just like a tight pussy or whatever ≠ good sex), but rather how it is used and a lot of other factors are what add up to good sex. But straight men do not see or experience other men’s penises, the only representation of other dicks we see is in porn, where the penises are usually much bigger than average. So what we see is guys with huge dicks sending women into convulsive passion, and even though we know it is “fake,” the association between horse cocks and sexual prowess sticks.
Dudes reinforce this amongst each other as well. Guys make fun of each other over penis size, call each other “pencil dick” and shit, describe less masculine men as having small dicks. We perpetuate this ourselves and bear some of the blame.
Women themselves perpetuate this as well. Every guy has heard a woman belittle an ex as having a little dick. Live, women talk about masculine men as having “big dick energy.” The inverse, “little dick energy” is obviously not good.
So, when you discuss an ex’s larger penis with your partner, you are competing with everything he has heard and seen about penises his entire life that is telling him that smaller = lesser. “Big ones hurt, yours doesn’t” is not helpful. “Yours feels better though” sounds like a lie.
I’m personally decently north of average, and I would get weird if my partner discussed an ex’s larger penis. I know that women like what I do with it, been with dozens of partners, and would personally have a hot time with your statement. Idk your boyfriends sexual history, but it takes a lot of positive reinforcement from partners for most average dudes to feel comfortable with their size.
So there’s that. Honestly, moving forward there’s nothing you can really do or say to address what was said. All you can really do is show your appreciation for his penis moving forward. He’s gonna have a complex for a little while. Just is what it is.
And to the people that go “that’s just his own insecurities”… yeah, so? In a relationship, you probably know your partner’s soft spots. If you poke the soft spots, that’s just mean. You protect and reassure your partner where they’re weakest, not tell them to get the fuck over it. Everyone has insecurities lol
UpdateMe!
Sincere question – if it is not that hard then why are you not doing it? When you love someone you want to see them happy, you want to do things that would make them happy, because seeing them happy is just the best. If she is the person you supposedly love the most, and you say planning something that would make her happy is easy, then why haven't you been doing it?
Oh fuck off. His children are not having their best interests served, but it’s fine for them to be around 100 cops all the time and for a son to learn to beat his wife and a daughter to learn that she should stay complacent when beaten ??
You’re not really getting my point, everything you say you do is about her. Women don’t want someone who is just going to worship them and serve them all day long. That’s simply not attractive. Women want someone who is interesting, who has goals and ambitions, who has hobbies, who has a life of their own, who is strong mentally and physically, who can make it on their own. What do you have on your own that will make a women want to be with you?
Thank you my love, This I did think about trust or potentially him cheating before ?